The Silent Thief Page #2

Honey, have you met any nice

college girls?

Mom, none that you'd like.

Any that I'd like?

So, anyways, after we're done here,

I'm gonna go over to Alex's, if that's okay.

I'll come too!

That's a great idea.

You'll love Alex.

Great.

Okay.

Hey.

Hey. How's it going?

Yeah, it's good to see you.

Uh, this is Brennan.

Hey, uh, Alex... Nixon.

No relation.

To who?

Good one

What's this?

They're, uh, cacti.

Cacti?

What a fag.

Your turn?

Oh, no.

I'm okay.

I'm not really...

you ever lifted before?

No.

Come on, give it a try.

No, I'm-

Come on, sit down.

How much do you weigh?

One-Fifty-Ish.

Well, this is 155 on here,

So a perfectly healthy person

Should be able to bench their

own body weight.

Can you?

Yeah, I'm one-Eighty and I

can bench two-Sixty-Five.

Just straight back.

Okay, you ready?

Hands out here.

Don't tuck your thumbs in.

This, uh, feels weird...

It's alright. You know who

Arnold Schwarzenegger is?

Yeah.

This is how he lifts.

Alright you ready?

Wait, no, no, no,

no, no, no-

- You got it. You got it!

- Hold on

Mike!

Alright. Relax.

Pathetic.

Why are you forcing Brennan to

sleep on the couch?

I didn't force him to do sh*t.

Alright, we played rock, paper,

scissors for it tonight and he lost.

Yeah, well, you forced him

to lift weights.

Did he come home crying to you?

No, Alex called me.

Look, he could have

hurt himself.

You, out of all people, know what can

happen if you push yourself too far.

I know you don't like

anybody staying in your room,

There's something off about

him, Elise.

I mean, did you guys check him

out at all?

Mike, he's a really nice guy.

Oh my god, you like him.

Admit it.

Mike, good night.

Admit it!

Do you know what

that feels like?

To be disrespected?

I know. I did it. I'm sorry.

And what about the f***ing

cacti? You like cacti.

I know.

Okay... I was being

an a**hole.

Yeah,

how about a thoughtless and arrogant prick.

Okay. I deserve it.

But I was just pissed off.

Alright, but I'm leaving

tomorrow...

and I want to be with

you tonight.

What is your problem with

Brennan, anyway?

He seems like a nice guy.

I just don't like him.

That's not like you, mike.

You need to relax.

I'm gonna be back

in a month, alright?

I'll make this up to you,

I promise.

She does this every time

mike leaves.

It's why we rented out the room.

Where are you going?

To help.

Mike's back in a month, he's counting on

you to have this house ready for Christmas.

Don't want to disappoint him

now, do you?

No, of course not.

Did Elise put you up to this?

What?

Trying to make me feel better.

No, it was my idea,

Mrs. Henderson.

You know, I never really knew

my mother.

She died of cancer when I was

very young.

You know, you remind me of her.

Smell like her.

Ah, so sweet.

I'm so sorry about your mommy.

It's okay.

I'll take these clothes up to mike's

room for you, Mrs. Henderson.

You can call me Candi.

How about mum?

Of course.

Call me what you like.

Cheer up, mum.

Who's your idol?

Schwarzenegger.

Him?

Yeah,

Six time Mr. Olympia,

Film icon, governor of

California,

Stud.

And you're obsessed

with his pecs.

Just admit it. I have pecs.

But his are better.

I'm gonna pretend

you didn't say that

Because I definitely have

better hair and a better ass.

I have a casual ass.

What?

You have a casual ass?

What does Schwarzenegger have?

He's got a serious

ass, obviously.

Name something that

grosses you out.

Peanut butter.

Peanut butter, you poor child.

Yeah, I'm allergic

to it, a**hole.

And secondly, I... I don't know,

the texture is just like, you know.

The texture's what?

Okay, who would win in a fair fight:

Superman or wolverine?

Superman.

Is that your final answer?

Yeah, it's no contest.

Clark Kent is so not cool man.

He's only cool when he's

superman.

No, I get it,

but that's what I like about it.

You know, it's like...

all of his potential is hidden

underneath.

When the shirt comes open, and

the dorky glasses come off,

And the hair changes...

it's kick ass time.

Mike,

Don't hide that face.

Come on.

I've got so much footage of

pillows, I don't need anymore.

Who's your idol?

Schwarzenegger.

When the shirt comes open...

shirt comes open.

- Dorky glasses come off...

- Dorky glasses come off.

- Hair changes...

- Hair changes.

- ...it's kick ass time.

- It's kick ass time.

Hey

What happened to your shoes?

They were stolen off my feet.

Georgia rest stop.

Stolen off your feet in a

Georgia rest stop?

You know, you should

be more careful.

Take it easy.

There you are!

Where have you been?

Just out for a walk.

Well, if you boys get to bed now

you can go fishing in the morning.

Uh, I don't know, uh, he's a

late sleeper.

Sounds great!

I'll set my alarm. What time?

4:
30

I'll set my alarm for 4.

I know, I know.

Catch and release.

You don't have a pole.

He can use mike's.

He can try.

Great. I'll see you

in a few hours.

- Sweet dreams.

- Good night.

Oh, I got one!

Okay, alright, reel it in.

Slow, slow, slow.

Been here all day

we haven't had one bite.

That pole's a bigger tease than

any woman on this planet.

Mike's the only one

who can use it.

We'll see.

So, I forgot to ask.

Why here?

Thought I could get

some nice pictures.

What part of England did

you say you were from?

London.

Family there?

I don't have a family.

My father died in a plane crash

when I was three.

Mother worked a lot.

One day, she didn't pick me up

from school.

Spent a lot of years

in foster care.

Sorry, Brennan.

It's alright.

You didn't know.

Besides...

I got you guys now.

Isn't he great?

How do you know he's a he?

Don't be a smart ass!

He's ugly.

Don't hate!

Hermit crabs have a hard enough

time as it is.

You know, they constantly

outgrow their shells because

They're never happy with their

place in the world.

So...

my dad got you this morning.

I was wondering if you wanted to

go out with me tonight.

You mean, like a date?

Well, no, that's

not really-

No, no, it doesn't

have to be a date.

I just, I just

didn't think that-

Yeah, I'm just playing.

Sure.

I can't believe you're still up.

You and Brennan must have left

the house at 4:
30 this morning?

Hey baby, I still got it.

Did you catch anything?

Nah.

Poor Brennan.

Growing up without a mother. Can

you imagine?

You mean a father.

What are you talking about?

His father died in

a plane crash.

His mother died of cancer.

I thought she walked out on him.

Well,

Maybe she left and

then she died.

That's so sad.

Good night, honey.

Good night.

Hey,

I'll race you to jenny's pier.

You mad?

You can have a head start

if you think I'm gonna beat you.

Shove off.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Cheater!

Come on, I thought

you said you could beat me.

Ow!

You okay?

Ow.

Hurt my ankle.

How bad is it?

I don't know.

Let me see.

You a doctor?

No.

Then back up and

let me see if I can stand.

Sorry.

That was bad, wasn't it?

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