The Simpsons Movie

We come in peace

for cats and mice everywhere.

Hey, how you doing? Good to see you.

Thanks for coming out.

Itchy... Itchy...

Boring!

Dad, we can't see the movie.

I can't believe we're paying to see

something we get on TV for free.

If you ask me, everybody in this theater

is a giant sucker.

Especially you.

Movie on the big screen!

Excuse me. My heinie is dipping.

All right, well,

thanks a lot for coming.

We've been playing

for three and a half hours.

Now we'd like just a minute of your time

to say something about the environment.

- You suck!

- Shut up and play!

- Preachy!

- We're not being preachy.

But the pollution in your lake,

it's dissolving our barge.

I thought they touched on

a vital issue.

I beg to differ.

Gentlemen, it's been an honor

playing with you tonight.

For the latest rock band

to die in our town...

...Lord, hear our prayer.

Lord, hear our prayer.

I hate being late.

Well, I hate going.

Why can't I worship the Lord

in my own way...

...by praying like hell on my deathbed?

Homer, they can hear you inside.

Relax. Those pious morons are too busy

talking to their phony-baloney God.

How you doing? Peace be with you.

Praise Jebus.

Today I'd like to try something

a little different.

I'm going to call on one of you!

Now, the word of God

dwells within everyone.

I want you to let that word out.

Let your spirit...

What is it, Ned?

The good Lord is telling me

to confess to something.

Gay, gay, gay.

An immodest sense of pride

in our community.

Somebody else?

Let the Lord's light shine upon you.

Feel the spirit.

Let it out!

Horrible, horrible things

are going to happen!

And they're gonna happen to you!

And you! And you! And you.

Whoa, nelly!

People of Springfield,

heed this warning:

Twisted tail!

A thousand eyes!

Trapped forever!

Dad, do something!

This book doesn't have any answers!

Beware! Beware! Time is short!

Believe me! Believe me!

Thanks for listening.

Okay, who wants waffles?

I do, I do, I do!

Wait a minute. What about Grampa?

- I want syrup!

- I want strawberries!

Something happened to that man.

I'll tell you what happened to him.

A certain someone had a senior moment.

But that's okay, because we love him

and we got a free rug out of it.

What is the point of going to church

every Sunday...

...when if someone we love has a genuine

religious experience, we ignore it?

Right, Grampa?

I want bananas on my waffles.

I rest my case.

I'm not dropping this.

Wait a minute. I'm still in the car.

Oh, right.

"Take out hornets' nest."

Check."Fix sinkhole."

Check.

"Re-shingle roof"?

Steady.

Steady.

Why, you little...!

I'll teach you to laugh

at something that's funny!

You know, we are on the roof.

We could have some fun.

What kind of fun?

How about a dare contest?

That sounds fun. I dare you to...

...climb the TV antenna!

- Piece of cake.

- Earthquake!

Aftershock!

Homer, I don't mean

to be a Nervous Pervis...

...but if he falls, couldn't that

make your boy a paraplege-arino?

Shut up, Flanders.

- Yeah, shut up, Flanders.

- Well said, boy.

Steady. Steady.

Steady...

Hello. Sorry to bother you

on a Sunday...

...but I'm sure you're as worried about

the pollution in Lake Springfield as I am.

Lake Springfield has higher levels

of mercury than ev...

Why, it's the little girl

who saved my cat.

Lake Springfield is...

Come on over, Lisa.

You can canvass me

as long as you want.

Milhouse, you don't care

about the environment.

Hey. I am very passionate

about the planet.

Say global warming is a myth.

It's a myth! Further study is needed!

That's for selling out your beliefs.

Oh, poor Milhouse.

Dream coming true.

Are you aware that a leaky faucet

can waste over...?

Two thousand gallons a year.

- Turning off lights can save...

- Enough energy to power Pittsburgh.

And if we kept our thermostats

at 68 in winter...

We'd be free from our dependency

on foreign oil in 17 years.

I'm Colin.

I haven't seen you at school.

Moved from Ireland.

My dad's a musician.

- Is he...?

- He's not Bono.

- I just thought, because you're Irish and...

- He's not Bono.

Do you play?

Just piano, guitar, trumpet,

drums and bass.

He's pure gold.

For once in your life, be cool.

So is your name as pretty

as your face?

You okay there?

Twisted tail! A thousand eyes!

Trapped forever!

What could that be?

I believe it's the sound

the Green Lantern made...

...when Sinestro threw him

into a vat of acid.

Yeah. Thanks for coming over.

Thanks for giving me

your pregnancy pants.

Never known comfort like this.

Why did I suggest this?

All right, boy,

time for the ultimate dare.

I dare you to skateboard

to Krusty Burger and back...

...naked.

- How naked?

- Fourth base.

Girls might see my doodle.

Oh, I see. Then I hereby

declare you chicken for life.

Every morning, you'll wake up to

"Good morning, chicken."

At your wedding, I'll sing:

I like men now.

Don't look where I'm pointing!

Stop in the name of

American squeamishness!

Boys, before we eat, don't forget

to thank the Lord for this bountiful...

Penis?!

- Bountiful penis.

- Bountiful penis.

Amen.

Listen, kid, nobody likes wearing clothes

in public, but, you know, it's the law.

Lunchtime!

You can't just leave me out here.

Don't worry, we found

a friend for you to play with.

Nelson, honey, where have you been?

- Dad!

- What seems to be the problem, officers?

Tell him you dared me to do it.

If that's true, then you should be

taking the rap here, not your son.

And what happens to me

if it's my fault?

You'll have to attend

a one-hour parenting class.

It was all his idea!

He's out of control, I tell you!

I'm at my wits' end.

It's so...

See you in court, kid.

Okay, son, let's get some lunch.

Did you at least bring my clothes?

Shirt, socks, everything you need.

- You didn't bring my pants.

- Who am I, Tommy Bahama?

This is the worst day of my life.

The worst day of your life so far.

- Say, Bart?

- What do you want, Flanders?

If you need pants,

I carry an extra pair.

You know how boys are,

always praying through the knees.

Why are you helping me?

I'm not your kid.

We're neighbors. I'm sure your father

would do the same for my boys.

Thank you.

- Hey, what's with you?

- You really wanna know?

Of course I do.

What kind of a father

wouldn't care about...?

A pig wearing a hat!

Action.

Hey, hey! It's your old pal Krusty,

for my new pork sandwich, the Klogger.

If you can find a greasier sandwich,

you're in Mexico!

And we're clear.

Perfect. Cut, print, kill the pig.

What...?! You can't kill him

if he's wearing people clothes!

You're coming home with me.

"A thousand eyes."

What could that be?

I'm pretty sure

a thousand is a number.

Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married

to someone who's recklessly impulsive?

Actually, it's aged me horribly.

Then say hello

to the newest Simpson.

Homer!

I believe what happened in church

was a warning about precisely this.

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