The Sitter Page #10

Synopsis: Noah is not your typical entertain-the-kids-no-matter-how-boring-it-is kind of sitter. He's reluctant to take a sitting gig; he'd rather, well, be doing anything else, especially if it involves slacking. When Noah is watching the neighbor's kid he gets a booty call from his girlfriend in the city. To hook up with her, Noah takes to the streets, but his urban adventure spins out of control as he finds himself on the run from a maniacal drug lord.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): David Gordon Green
Production: 20th Century Fox
  2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.7
Metacritic:
39
Rotten Tomatoes:
22%
R
Year:
2011
81 min
$30,200,000
Website
1,293 Views


how you talk to me.

You'd better be very careful

how you talk to me.

Because I'm going to be at

home with nothing going on.

And I'm going to have one eye

on my three friends up there

and the other eye right on you.

I just want you to get

your act together, Doc.

F***ing...

One more thing.

Your wife's smoking hot.

You need to get rid of Debra

and focus on tapping that ass.

And there may be a scratch

or two on your minivan!

Hey, stranger!

Need a ride?

Hey, Roxanne. What's up?

Hey.

How'd you find me?

Oh, this little gizmo kept beeping,

so I followed it to find you.

Which is a little creepy

now that I think about it.

That's okay.

Thank you for stalking me.

Sh*t.

Oh. Let me guess.

Your girlfriend again?

No.

We broke up.

Oh. And you're just fine?

You seem fine.

Yeah, no, I'm great.

She's in hysterics, but she'll be

cool, eventually. She'll move on.

- Listen, I'm a free bird.

- I got to fly.

Right.

I don't know why I said that.

Do you need to get that?

It's my dad, actually.

I think I'm gonna let this

one go to voice mail.

Great.

I have an idea.

Why don't we ditch the car?

It's a nice night for a walk.

Okay. Sure.

Cool.

Looks like you had

a rough night.

Yeah.

But like a wise man

once told me,

"Make love to the night,

motherf***er. "

"Make love to the night. "

Have you ever met a girl

that you tried to date

But a year, to make love,

she wanted you to wait

Let me tell ya a story

of my situation

I was talkin' to this girl

from the U. S. nation

The way that I met her

was on tour at a concert

She had really long hair

and a short miniskirt

I just got onstage

drippin', pourin' with sweat

I was walkin' through the

crowd and guess who I met

I whispered in her ear,

come to the picture booth

So I can ask you some questions to

see if you are a hundred proof

I asked her her name,

she said blah-blah-blah

She had 9/10 pants

and a very big bra

I took a couple of flicks

and she was enthused

I said,

how do you like the show?

She said, I was very amused

I started throwin' bass, she

started throwin' back mid-range

But when I sprung the question,

she acted kind of strange

'Cause when I asked, Do you have a man?

She tried to pretend

She said, no, I don't

I only have a friend

You must be buggin'

This is what I'm gonna sing

You, you got what I need

But you say he's just a friend

And you say he's just

a friend Oh, baby

You got what I need

But you say he's just a friend

But you say he's just

a friend Oh, baby

You got what I need

But you say he's just a friend

So please listen

to the message that I say

Don't ever talk to a girl who

says she just has a friend

Has a friend

Yeah

Premier and Slick Rick, kid

Jonah Hill

Yeah, kid, check it out

Good gosh The world's so bad

It's trying to drive me,

a sane man, mad

Great gosh I need some bad

'Bout to drive me,

a sane man, mad

Are you peeping this floozy

Or queens, excuse me

Can't believe how many times I

had to eat the chick's sushi

Who she?

Look at how a brother

gotta roll

All cold, kid

Anyway truth being told

Fit boy too big

Which one you pick

Rico suave

or chick one, two kid

Once I was born in this thick

Why I gotta deal

with this horniness tip

This, not enough flair

This, lack a lot wares

Got her holding my tears

Trying to act like who cares

Reaching, if I say

I see kids in the mix

Wanna cuddle Go out something,

Trick with the chick

You know what I'm saying, kid

'Cause it's so bad, trying to

drive me, a sane man, mad

I need some bad 'Bout to

drive me, a sane man, mad

Good gosh the world's so bad

It's trying to drive me,

a sane man, mad

Great gosh I need some bad

'Bout to drive me,

a sane man, mad

I want you, munch too,

comes to hun, how long do

Ma duke caught the kid

masturbating once too

Passed, looked stunned,

kept on like

Don't you have a steady

piece to smash yet, son?

What to do, Mom,

none touching dude's joint

Like to see me out here

buying some prostitute's bum?

No?

Picking up scroin, cop pursuing

From the stripper club

hair doing

Then laughed and none

but wise after

Soul mate, more than sex,

a live partner

Snatch can't get, cat frantic

So, in the meantime stripper

club, lap dance tip

A professional

press box arouser

Some condoms so I don't

mess up me trousers

Then start paying, mark swaying

Girlfriend just sit down

and start playing

Here's an extra,

parading the wealth

Don't want a real kid feel

like I'm degrading myself

Bouncing on me funny,

bouncing with my money

Or it's back to playing cat and

mouse games with the honey

You know what I mean, kid

Caught a script so bad, trying

to drive me, a sane man, mad

Say what, Slick Rick

I need some bad 'Bout to

drive me, a sane man, mad

Good gosh the world's so bad Trying

to drive me, a sane man, mad

Jonah Hill, kid

Good gosh, need some bad, About

to drive me, a sane man...

I need some bad

I need some bad

I need some bad I need some bad

I need some bad

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Brian Gatewood

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "The Sitter" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 26 Jul 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_sitter_21322>.

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