The Sitter Page #9

Wait, wait!

Oh, sh*t!

Yes! Nice!

Whoa! Sh*t!

Are you guys Okay?

No. I'm not okay.

We just crashed the car.

What just happened?

Wait, so did you get the coke?

Kids, kids, kids.

I love kids.

How you doing, Noah Griffith?

Hey, Karl, why you

got to be so crazy, man?

Hey, man, I'm crazy.

That's a gun.

Marisa, why don't you do me a favor?

Take these kids and go home.

I'm going to have an adult

conversation with the babysitter.

Look, I know you guys want to

stay with me, it's your instinct,

but you have to

fend for yourself.

Oh, you're all alone now, huh?

Hurts, don't it?

Yeah. I got a little

boo-boo myself.

You're mean!

Noah Griffith!

You got mud in my gun,

Noah Griffith!

My 11th best friend

gave me this gun!

Marisa, wait!

Did you hear that?

No, I didn't hear anything.

It's your very childlike

and vivid imagination.

Noah might be hurt!

That's a pistola.

What if he needs us?

He's not in trouble.

He's hugging it out with Karl in the minivan.

I just need to get out of here.

Thanks to you guys,

my night is ruined!

I was having a really fun night

before you showed up! Taxi!

We were supposed to

have a fun night, too!

You are the reason that we

are even in this situation!

Okay, fine!

I'm a terrible person.

Okay? I admit it, I could be a

lot better in this situation,

but I'm just feeling really overwhelmed.

I don't know what's going on.

I'm stuck with these three

kids and I hate kids,

and I just don't

know what to do!

Marisa?

Stop being such a spaz.

Give me your phone.

I've got an idea.

Noah Griffith!

Yes! Where you at, babycakes?

Where you at?

I see you, Noah Griffith.

Yes!

Noah Griffith?

Good game!

You passed the test!

Passed the prank! Passed the car chase.

You're in the club, player!

Surprise!

Stay back! Back up!

Whoa! Okay. Chill out.

Listen to me.

I don't have your money.

And I'm going to stop risking

my life to get it for you.

Rodrigo took an egg

from your house.

It exploded,

it's gone, I'm sorry.

What do you think

this is, a game?

You don't f*** with a drug dealer.

Are you out of your mind?

You owe me money!

I got a call from a little lady

said there was some trouble

brewing in the park tonight.

Lookit here.

Oh, sh*t.

What's going down on the playground?

What up, Noah?

What are you guys doing here?

Told you, we'd be around.

What y'all up to?

This guy, he's crazy.

He's trying to kill me!

He's trying to kill the kids

I'm babysitting.

He's nuts!

He's out of his mind.

- Who? This stinky b*tch?

- Yes.

Let me find out you out here

trying to punk on our boy Noah?

F*** is wrong with you?

You don't know who you're messing with.

He's one misunderstood

motherf***er.

Sure you right.

But I got your back now, Noah.

'Cause I found out you got

some big-ass balls, man.

Can't buy underwear.

Balls don't fit.

You done messed

with the wrong babysitter.

You so sexy when

you talk gangsta.

Look here, Noah.

Why don't you take

them little kids home?

We gonna handle

this situation here.

Thank you, guys, so much.

Soul Baby, text you.

Make love to the night,

motherf***er.

Noah Griffith! Where are you going?

I'm not done with you!

You think your friends are

gonna bail you out of this?

Listen, I'm in a real bad mood.

I don't want to

hurt you motherfuckers.

What's up, candy man?

We're gonna get up in it, boy.

Put a quarter in my butt.

Let's get this fight farted. Let's go.

Motherfuckers!

Ahh! My nuts!

Taxi!

I need a cab, man!

Hey, man,

your nuts are on fire!

I know my nuts are on fire!

That's how your mama like it!

- Noah!

- Are you okay?

Yeah, it's too crazy

to explain. We gotta go!

What happened?

Was that a real gun?

Let me tell you about my day

It's such a very long day

It started around 7:00

And I can hear her pray

As I walk through the yard

I could feel your presence

Giving me the time of my life

And showering me

with life lessons

Now I know what they mean

When they said

keep your head to the sky

Don't be too quick to fit in

And don't feel you have to try

This road is strange,

so strange it is

You know it really hurts inside

Yeah, sometimes

We're here.

We're here.

You must think

I'm such a b*tch.

You shouldn't

waste your feelings

on people who don't value them.

You're right.

I haven't been cool to you.

I know.

You haven't.

And I'm over it, too.

Take care of yourself, Marisa.

All right?

Your girlfriend sucks.

Yes, she does.

Indeed she does.

Blithe, I want to

show you something.

Just because you try and

look more grown up,

or try and act

like a celebrity,

or a famous person or whatever,

it's not gonna

get you more friends.

You're a kid.

And a pretty great one.

Wipe that sh*t off your face.

You look insane, okay?

Okay.

You know what "blithe" means?

What?

It means "joyous. "

You know what "late" means?

What?

"Late",

As in f***ed, as in we were all

supposed to be in bed by 1:00

and it's already 10 after.

Son of a b*tch!

All right, looks like we beat them home.

Let's go inside. Hustle.

Rodrigo!

Rodrigo!

Hey! You guys see Rodrigo?

Hola, Rodrigo!

Rodrigo! Rodrigo!

Whoa. Weird.

That's the most messed up

thing we've seen all night.

Noah, they're here!

Okay! Everyone on the couch!

Let's go.

Let's go! Get on the couch.

Come on!

The MMA world is abuzz tonight

with the news of a brutal

out-of-the-ring assault

on local hero and pro kickboxing

legend Ricky Fontaine.

Witnesses at the Brooklyn house

party where the assault took place

described his attacker

as a young man,

accompanied by

three small children.

Oh, my God.

In another story,

two small New York businesses experienced

bizarre bathroom explosions.

Hello.

Hey, guys!

Hi. What?

Hey! Welcome back!

What's going on?

It's after 1:
00 in the morning.

These kids should be

in bed already, Noah.

Mom, it's not his fault.

Yeah. We told him

our bedtime was 1:30.

I turned the clock back. So sorry.

My deepest apologies.

You darn kids!

Played a trick on me,

these little rascals.

I'm not buying it.

Everybody, upstairs.

Bed! Now.

Go brush your teeth.

Sorry, Mom.

And say good night to Noah.

Maybe he'll be nice enough to

come back and babysit again.

Night, Noah.

Night, guys.

And Peter has your money, okay?

Cool, thanks.

Oh, Noah!

Your mom told me to tell you

not to wait up for her.

She and that guy

that I set her up with,

Dr. Stevens, went out

to have a nightcap.

Let me tell you, I think she

was having a really good time.

Thanks for hooking that up.

Thanks for babysitting.

See you next time.

I trust the kids

weren't too much trouble.

You got three great ones.

Hey...

You want a recommendation?

Here's my advice.

Get your sh*t together.

You're right.

Maybe I do have some stuff

I need to work on.

But the last person on Earth

I need to take advice

from is you, sir.

Excuse me?

You're banging your assistant,

Debra, and you're going to stop.

Do you understand me?

I would be very careful

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