The Sitter Page #8

What's this, my man?

You got a little

party in your pocket?

It's not mine, I swear to God.

I'm just holding it

for my girlfriend.

I'm just holding it for her.

You're going out

with a cokehead?

Bag of f***ing

actual diamonds here.

Oh. Okay. Jacob the Jeweler.

You're tits in a ditch, my man.

Tits in a ditch.

Is that good?

Sometimes it's good.

Sometimes it's real bad.

What is that?

Oh, no sh*t!

Is that you?

That's the f***ing bathroom guy!

Mr. Toilet Explosion?

That's not me.

I've never actually

been the guy on duty

to catch the f***ing

guy in the sketch.

What are they doing to him?

Do me a favor.

You got this? Yeah.

You got it?

Yeah. I like that.

That's one for your wallet.

Check it out! Check it out!

It's great.

All right, sir, do me a favor,

go stand by your vehicle.

We're going to run

your profile. All right?

This is mine.

I'm gonna take responsibility...

Sir! Go stand by your vehicle.

Please.

Hey, so here's the deal.

I think I'm about

to get arrested.

I messed up and I put

your lives in danger.

You's got the diamonds?

Things just got out of

hand so quickly...

Let's party!

And I'm really, really sorry.

Whoa. Are they leaving?

Hey! What are

you doing? Stop!

Please! I need those diamonds!

Come back!

Damn it!

All right, I'm going to

go find my girlfriend.

Marisa!

Marisa!

Stephanie,

have you seen Marisa?

I don't know, it's my birthday!

Why are you upside down?

Why aren't you upside down?

Okay.

Take care of yourself.

You're not invited any more.

G- Bert, sorry to

interrupt, man.

What's up, Noah?

Have you seen Marisa?

Who's Marisa?

She's my girlfriend.

She's like my height,

blonde hair.

No, sorry.

No.

If I find her, we should all

hang out next week or something.

Totally, yeah.

Yeah, great.

You have great breasts. Thanks.

Thank you.

Later, Noah.

What are you doing?

F*** you.

Why are you such

an a**hole, Rodrigo?

Ever since

you moved in with us,

you've been so mean

to everybody!

What's wrong with you?

You want to know

what's wrong with me?

This is my third family

in three years.

When your papas

get tired with me,

they give me to

another families.

That happens every time.

Well, maybe if you didn't do

such messed-up stuff

then they would actually feel

like you wanted to be here.

You don't know me.

You look at me

like a crazy that live

in your house.

That's not true.

You never talk to us.

Honestly,

you're pretty scary, man.

I no scary.

I just like having fun.

Boom, boom, boom. Kaboom.

Hey, guys, I can't find

Marisa anywhere. Let's go.

Come on. Where's Blithe?

Blithe, get down from there.

We have to go.

These are my friends!

Come on, we're having fun.

No. They're not your friends.

They're drunk and they're

making fun of you, okay?

You need to get down here right now.

What are you doing?

Listen, they're drunk.

Let's go.

Come up here!

They just want

to dance with me!

They don't want to dance...

Oh! You're here!

Where have you been?

This has been the best night ever.

Are those kids?

Yeah. They're with me.

I'll explain.

We need to get out of here right now.

Did you get the party favors?

I had them and now I don't.

I'll explain.

We need to get out

of here right now.

I'm serious.

It's Ricky.

We don't have time for this.

That is Ricky Fontaine.

He is my ex-boyfriend.

I obviously have to go say hi.

Ricky!

You're drunk, Marisa.

Hey.

Marisa.

What's up? How are you?

You haven't responded to any of my

texts in, like, a really long time.

Yeah. There's a reason

for that.

Marisa, I'm sorry.

I don't know how else I can say it.

We had a great run,

but it's over now,

and I wish you the best

and I pray for you, I do.

Is everything okay?

Actually, no.

Ricky's being kind of a dick.

Why don't you defend me, Noah?

What?

Yeah. You're being

a real dick!

Defend me!

You're being mean!

What are you talking about?

I've been nothing but cool to you, man.

Okay. She's drunk.

There's a misunderstanding happening.

Why don't we all just relax?

No offense, bro,

but who are you?

I'm Noah. We're dating.

He's my friend.

We're in a relationship, okay?

Friendship relationship.

Well, good luck with that, bro,

'cause dealing with her

is a pretty big nightmare.

I don't envy you.

That is a terrible thing

to say to somebody!

What?

Look, you hurt her feelings.

Okay? Just be nice.

What are you going

to do about it, bro?

What?

What the hell was that?

A throat jab? I don't know.

I don't street-fight very often

Sh*t!

I broke my ass!

You just got Fontained!

Are you okay, Noah?

Yeah.

Get out of here.

I got it. I got this guy.

Right here. Right here.

Noah!

Oh, that's bad!

Oh, my back!

What do we do?

Rodrigo! Flying Burrito!

Jesus! My ear!

Did I get him good?

Get off!

Hey. Ricky!

Double punch to the nut sack!

Come on, Blithe!

We gotta get out of here!

Ricky? Are you okay?

Listen, we gotta go right now.

Where's the party?

I love parties.

Oh, sh*t! We gotta go right now!

Hey, what's up, party animal?

How you doing?

Hey, man...

Karl!

Come on, come on.

Who wants to party?

Anybody want to party?

Let's party!

Back it up! Back it up!

What's up?

Nobody wanna dance with me!

Let's party!

Come on, you got it.

Let's go. You got it.

I can't believe

you're making me do this.

Where are the kids?

Who cares? Let's just go.

Please, I just want

to go home with you.

I just want to get out of here.

What are you talking about?

They're my responsibility.

Who cares? I just

want to get out of here!

I care.

Hi.

What the f***?

Hey, come on.

Come here!

Go, go, go, go, go! Move!

How'd you learn

to hot-wire a car?

I know many things.

What is with all these kids?

What is that?

It's Karl's gang.

Go! They gonna kill us!

Oh, my God!

Get off the car!

Oh, my God!

Is that a man or a woman?

Go, Noah!

F***ing drive, Noah!

Push the gas!

What the hell is going on?

Next time, you use a bazooka

instead of a sledgehammer.

What are you, El DeBarge?

Let's go, come on, Jeremy!

What the hell is this?

Get out of the way!

Is there anyone in

this car who can tell me

what the hell is going on here?

Noah, they're coming!

Gonna kill yo ass,

Noah Griffith!

Coming to get you!

Catch up!

F***ing die! You die!

All right, kids,

fasten your seat belts!

They're going to kill us!

Watch this.

Watch this.

Ls everyone okay?

I'm scared, Noah!

Noah, stall them!

I have an idea!

Roll down the window!

I have your money!

I just want to be your friend!

Are you serious?

You've been really

wishy-washy about

the whole thing.

No, I know! I've been going through

my own personal situation!

It's really scary entering

into a new friendship!

I just don't want to deal

with a broken heart.

Maybe I don't want to be friends!

How's that?

He really wants to

be your friend, Karl!

It's just I've been

burned in the past, bud!

- Seriously?

- Kaboom!

Oh, sh*t!

Sh*t!

Hold the wheel straight!

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