The Smiling Lieutenant Page #2

So long.

Court-martial?

No. Worse.

The king himself.

You realize in whose presence

you're standing?

Yes, sire.

In the presence of His Majesty

King Adolf XV of Flausenthurm.

How do you spell Flausenthurm?

F-L-A-U...

S-E-N-T...

H...

- U-R-M.

- Not bad.

What a speller.

He certainly knows his alphabet.

What do you say to this?

Oh, this picture doesn't do you justice,

Your Majesty.

Well, how do you like this?

I like it.

Here. Here you look like

a million dollars.

Oh, this is great!

This is wonderful.

That's what I call photography.

Just a dream.

Your Majesty, this interview

is no laughing matter.

Right, Your Highness.

You laughed at a royal princess.

- Do you know the penalty?

- I know it, sire.

- Well, why did you do it?

- We want the truth.

And nothing but the truth.

Your Majesty...

Your Highness...

Ladies of the ju...

I was standing at attention...

presenting arms...

Looking straight ahead...

and suddenly I found myself

looking at the most beautiful girl.

How dare you call

Her Royal Highness a girl.

Yes, Your Majesty.

That's my crime.

Thank you.

I confess it.

When I saw Her Highness...

so young, so charming...

so beautiful...

I forgot everything,

my rank, my duty.

I smiled.

My princess, now you know my crime.

If you consider me

unworthy of my rank...

I put my fate

in your lovely little hands.

- You son of a gun.

- Yes, sire.

- Wait outside!

- Yes, sire.

Yes, sire!

I like the persons around me

to look nice.

- Does that mean that I...

- Yes. Father just talked with Uncle.

I mean, His Majesty has arranged it

with the emperor...

that you shall be our adjutant

during our stay in Vienna.

I'm overwhelmed, Your Highness.

I hope you'll do your best

to make us like Vienna.

Vienna speaks for itself, Your Highness.

If Your Highness will be good enough

to look out of the window...

there is the famous old tower

of the Stephen's Church.

To the right

we have the St. Paul's dome...

and directly across,

we have with us tonight...

I mean, there is the church

of the Capuchin monks.

I don't care about these old buildings.

We have so many in Flausenthurm.

I like best things that are young

and beautiful and alive.

- Don't you?

- Oh, yes. Of course.

Tell me.

When you saw me first...

what was your impression?

That you are so beautiful, Your Highness.

And then, when you thought

I was so...

- So beautiful, Your Highness.

- Yes.

Then...

why did you smile?

Because I thought

that you are so beautiful, Your Highness.

I want to ask you something.

You see, I don't know

very much about life.

I got all my knowledge out of

the royal encyclopedia.

A special edition arranged

for Flausenthurm...

with all the interesting things left out.

Now, when you smiled at me,

you also did something else.

Something with your eye.

- What's that?

- A wink.

A wink.

What does it mean?

When we like somebody...

we smile.

But when we want to

do something about it...

...we wink.

Thank you.

That's enough for today.

Franzi!

Niki!

An eight-hour day is enough, cherie

To act as the princess's guide

And that leaves

a 12-hour night for me

So we'll all be quite satisfied

Tell me, Niki.

Is the princess a blonde or a brunette?

To tell you the truth,

I don't know.

Darling!

With 12 hours here

and with eight hours there

Who gets the four hours in between

I must have a moment

to comb my hair

And see that my buttons are clean

Oh, you see, Niki,

it's not that I'm jealous...

but someday you may meet a girl.

Nobody can play the violin like you.

Forget everything

in the world but me

Forget if it's wrong

or it's right

The more that we have to forget

you see

Well, the more

we'll remember tonight

He's gracious

not audacious

And romance wakes at his touch

I like him.

I like him.

I like him so much

I love you

and I hate you

My darling

what have I done

I'll thrill you

till I kill you

You son of a gun

He's so mild

like a sweet child

His conduct shows him as such

I like him

I like him

I like him so much

You devil

Say you love me

Believe me

you are the one

You brute, you

I could shoot you

You son of a gun

You put madness

in the moonlight

T.N.T. in each caress

In every sigh

you put such high explosive

I send out an S.O.S.

I see him now

So modest and so gentle

So sentimental

Forever

He has changed

The world for me

There's dynamite in all your kisses

You and I know this is love

Napoleon was a lieutenant too...

and an Austrian princess

married him.

- Well, he's no Napoleon.

- Right. He's 10 times better looking.

- Oh, Papa. Have a heart.

- No.

- Say yes.

- No.

Don't you get tired

of saying "no" all day long?

No, no. Now, now, no.

Papa, you may not realize it,

but I'm desperate.

I'm no longer responsible.

I'm capable of anything.

If you don't let me

have my lieutenant...

you know what I'm going to do?

What?

I'm going to marry an American.

Give me the emperor.

Oh, good evening, Emp.

Yes. This is Adolf speaking.

Yes, thank you.

Same to you.

Now listen, Emp. I want to

tell you something very confidential.

Now keep this under your crown.

My little Anna is in love.

What? You know all about it?

The whole palace knows?

Yes. She wants to marry him.

Now, what do you think of Anna

marrying an ordinary lieutenant?

What?

What? Oh, you think it's a great thing

for Flausenthurm, eh?

Well, let me tell you,

it's a great thing for Austria too. So long.

I'm not at home

Colonel Rockoff,

His Majesty's adjutant...

who is here in this room

standing right beside me...

wishes to see you.

Lieutenant, I'm here

on a very confidential mission.

Her Highness, the Princess Anna,

wanted to talk to you.

But before talking to you, naturally,

she took up the matter with her father,

His Majesty, the king.

His Majesty, the king, decided that Her Highness,

the princess, should not talk to you first.

On the contrary, you should first

talk to Her Highness, the princess.

But before talking to the princess,

His Majesty, the king, wants you to talk to him...

so that he can give you permission

to talk to the princess.

But then we all got together and had

a little talk, and we came to the conclusion...

that under

the royal Flausenthurm etiquette...

you, being an ordinary lieutenant,

cannot do the talking at all.

You understand?

Perfectly. May I ask

what you are talking about?

In one word, Lieutenant,

please don't you propose to the princess.

But I never intended to,

and I never will.

Thank you. Congratulations.

Morning.

Hello? Who is it?

This is Lily. Yes, Lily.

Congratulations? What for?

My engagement to the princess?

You don't know?

I have inside information.

I had supper with the king last night.

Yes! Kings have to eat too.

Darling, you believe me.

I don't know a thing about this.

Of course.

Of course I believe you.

Niki, they can't

take you away from me.

They won't.

Everything will be all right.

I know it.

I'll be back, and I won't be long.

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