The Smurfs 2 Page #2

- Are these plates PCB-free?

- No.

- Actually, we're good.

- Actually, we're good. PCB and BPA-free.

Daddy, can we cut the cake?

- Yeah.

- All right, let's do that.

Cut it.

Boy, who thought parenting

could be so complicated?

- Yummy.

- Seriously, guys?

You guys make it look easy.

Yeah, you must have had a great role model.

No, not really.

- My dad took off when I was five, so...

- Am I late?

Did I miss all the presents?

Hey!

- Grandpa Vicster!

- Hey!

Happy birthday, Blue.

Now it's a party. Hello.

I'm Victor, Patrick's dad.

And you must all be his friends,

which makes you my friends.

So let's go.

Arms in the air, you're all getting hugs.

Hey, okay.

I thought you said your father left you.

He did. This is my stepfather.

You'll want him to leave. Just wait.

Hello. Where's my Gracie?

- Hey.

- Victor.

How are you?

You know, ever since Blue was born,

I kind of miss you being as big as a house

with more of you to hug.

Yep.

And now, I've saved the

biggest hug for last.

- Boundaries, please. Boundaries.

- Let's show them how it's done.

Unhand me.

I don't like this at all.

Thank you.

There's nothing like

the embrace of two proud Doyle men.

I am not a Doyle man.

Little Paddy Doyle.

- Winslow.

- Okay, compromise. Winslow.

Hyphen-Doyle.

Hey, isn't he the guy

from the Korndog commercials on TV?

- Hey, you're right.

- Well, you got me.

- Korndog King.

- No, no, no.

- One moment.

- Please not this.

Now, in honour of Blue's birthday,

I'm going to present each and every

one of you with a free Korndog...

- Thank you.

- ... on the house.

Teriaki dog.

That's for you.

Do these have any peanuts?

I would never put peanuts in a Korndog.

Great.

Go ahead, big guy, it's okay.

For the simple reason, you see,

we deep-fry them in peanut oil.

Peanut oil?

- What?

- Johnny, spit it... Spit it out right away!

Okay, I got the phone, okay.

Spit it out, Johnny! Spit it out right away!

Into Mama's hands.

Deep breath for the EpiPen.

- It's okay.

- What's happening to that kid's lips?

- Azrael, bring me my plan.

- Father?

It's in the bathroom.

Check my side of the sink.

Father?

It's feeding time.

Hackus dizzy.

Yes, I almost forgot.

Apparently, I have to keep you alive.

I hope you both appreciate

what a tremendous burden this is upon me.

All right, mind your manners.

Thank you.

If you were real Smurfs,

I'd be taking essence from you.

I didn't hear a "thank you. "

Close enough. Come, come.

We must review my plan

before tonight's raid on Smurf Village.

This is not my writing parchment.

Where is my plan?

"Gone digital"?

I don't understand what that means.

Yes, phase one, "Create Naughties. " Yes.

Check. Where is phase two?

I am enamoured of that swiping motion.

Yes, get away, get away,

get away, get away.

Phase three... Swipe.

I capture my ungrateful daughter

and force her to tell me the secret formula

that Papa used to turn her blue.

Swipe.

I turn you and hundreds

other like you blue.

Hackus blue!

Hackus blue!

I place you into a terrifying machine

and extract your essence.

- What?

- And then,

the entire world shall bow before me!

Will that extracting thing hurt?

It's excruciatingly painless.

You'll see, it'll be fun, for me.

Anyway, we're getting ahead of ourselves.

Back to phase two, the very reason

we came to this cheese-infested metropolis.

The great iron spire.

The only possible way

to harness enough energy to create a portal

right into the heart of Smurf Village.

How I love portal creation.

Come, come, let us away! To the iron spire!

It worked!

Yes! Just enough essence!

And now I will go down in history!

Nothing can stop me now!

My Gargaberries!

Oh, no!

Now I shall prove my genius!

Head spin!

It appears I lack sufficient essence

to create a human-size portal.

Father, I can fit through there.

Let me get Smurfette.

Hackus go! Hackus go!

- Hey!

- Hackus go!

Yes, yes. Well, let's see here.

- Eeny, meeny, miny...

- Pick me! Pick me!

Moron.

Yes!

- Hey, Hackus, listen to this.

- What?

I win.

Nicely played, Vexy.

Now, I must warn you.

Your destination is a true horror.

A realm filled with

the relentless crushing quiet of peace,

punctuated by

the wretched cacophony of joyousness.

- It's horrible.

- What a nightmare.

Yes, yes, it completely ruined your sister.

It's such a shame when

a bad girl turns good.

So true.

But she does know the secret formula,

so go get Smurfette!

I just don't get it.

They know how tough my birthday can be,

and they didn't even remember.

Maybe Papa was wrong.

Guess I'll never really be one of them.

- Oh, no!

- Help.

Please, wait.

I escaped.

Escaped?

From the evil wizard who made me.

Do you mean Gargamel?

Is Gargamel your father?

Yes.

But he's...

That means you're just like me.

- Gotcha!

- What are you doing?

Father's going to be very happy.

Smurfette's in trouble!

- Crikey!

- Oh, no!

- Come on, Smurfs!

- Smurfette!

No!

- Oh, no, you don't.

- No!

- Let go!

- Now get in there!

Oh, no!

- She's being smurf napped.

- Unhand her!

So long, Smurfs.

- Smurfette!

- Smurfette!

What are we gonna do now?

My powers of deduction lead me to believe

that this is the work of Gargamel.

Oh, no, oh, no!

- Yes!

- Pretty blue.

Gargamel.

Smurfette. Welcome home.

You're wasting your time, Gargamel.

Papa and the others are gonna come for me.

I don't think so.

They came for Clumsy.

Yes, but you see, Clumsy was a real Smurf.

Whereas I was the one who created you.

You do remember that, don't you, dear?

You're not my father. Just let me go home.

Of course.

Anything you say,

but first, I will need one itsy-bitsy,

teeny-tiny little thing first.

- Teeny-tiny.

- What?

Just the secret formula that Papa

used to turn you into a real Smurf.

Hackus real Smurf. Hackus blue!

Like you, blondie.

It would benefit us both,

don't you see, my dear?

You give me the formula,

I turn my little Naughties blue.

- Blue.

- I use their essence

to continue with

my wonderful magic show here.

That way I never have to bother you

or Smurf Village again.

I don't trust you,

and I'm not telling you anything.

Well,

perhaps you need a little persuasion, eh?

Naughties, attack!

With pleasure.

Attack!

- No, no, no, not each other.

- Not me!

I got you...

Hackus!

Kitty, kitty, kitty.

Not the cat, not the...

Deeply, deeply disappointing experiments.

We've got to rescue Smurfette.

What's our plan to bring Smurfette home?

All right, Smurfs, listen up.

I saved enough grotto water from the last

blue moon for just such an occasion.

I was able to

smurf it into smurfportation crystals.

So you don't need a portal.

Very clever, Papa.

Smurf-xactly.

These will take us directly to

Master Winslow's mushroom.

Yeah, Patrick and Grace helped us

last time we smurfed through the portal.

Precisely! They'll know what to do!

- Sign me up!

- Sign me up.

- At your service, Papa.

- Pick me!

- Did someone say, "Baker should go"?

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