The Somewhat Normal Life Of Billie Boi (0.5th Draft) Page #13

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Bill:
I’m sorry, Lo, but this is just low.

Lo:
I f***ing hate you.

We cut to 6 years later, as it says on the card that plays as we cut to Bill being on the phone with Sam.

Sam:
I just don’t think this is working out.

Bill:
My freaking cat just died! What do--

Sam:
It has been this way for years, I’m sorry, Bill.

Bill throws his phone down.

Bill:
No, No, No. You’ve gotta be freaking kidding me! Not you! Not you too!

We then cut back to Bill on the bridge, flashbacking to that moment.

Bill:
I hate my life.

A man passes by, but stops. He gets out.

Lo:
What are you doing?!

Bill:
Trying to get run over, but people really like not running people over.

Lo:
Yeah, That’s because they’d get arrested!

Several people honk at Lo for being in the way.

Lo:
Aw, Go off!

Bill:
Seriously, Go on, Lo.

Gaiden (getting out of his car): What’s the holdup?

Lo:
Can you give us a second?

Bill:
Do we need a second?

Lo:
Anyway, How do you know my name?

Bill:
You fired me at my Job! You were my boss! What--

Lo:
Meh, Memory sucks.

Bill:
Really?

Lo:
Look, I’m sorry, okay! You--

Bill:
Leave.

Lo:
Look, I said I was sorry--!

Bill:
LEAVE, NOW.

We then cut back to Bill now on the bridge, crying.

Bill:
Please, Please.

A man driving stops for Bill.

Elton:
Yo, Fool, You okay?

Bill:
Ugh, I don’t know anymore, I just don’t know anymore.

Elton:
I have those moments sometimes.

Bill:
Aye, Can I ask a favor from you:

Elton:
What is it?

Bill:
Can you just run me over?

Elton:
What?

Bill:
I don’t know anymore. My girlfriend left me, My cat’s f***ing dead, and because of me, 6 years ago, some dude went to prison for 19 years, at least it is 19 as of right now.

Elton:
Get in, If this doesn’t help, I will.

Bill (getting up): Ugh, Whatever passes the time.

We cut to Elton and Bill in a bar, a female bartender named Dina asks them if they want a sprite/tea mix.

Elton:
I love that crap!

Dina:
And you?

Bill:
I suppose, I ain’t got anything better to drink.

Dina walks off to make them.

Bill (looking at his straw, bending it): Shoot, I wish This was as school-made story.

Elton:
Why is that?

Bill:
Because they actually have good endings.

Elton:
Your story doesn’t have a good ending?

Bill:
Real life doesn’t ever have a good ending.

Elton:
Why do you say that?

Bill:
Because, This is real life, and if my ending is soon, It isn’t going to be a good one.

Elton:
Are you depressed, Bill?

Dina hands them their drinks, and leaves.

Bill (chuckling and drinking it): Ha, I wish I could say I think I ain’t-- (tastes the liquid form of torture he just procceded to drink) What kind of sh*t is this?

Elton (looking at it): Why is it green?

Bill (spitting it out on the floor): This sh*t is worse than that time I threw up in a cup and drank it.

Elton:
You drank it?

Bill:
It tasted like beef stew and a hint of gum. I would eat it again to be honest.

Elton (throwing up in mouth): Jesus Christ.

Bill:
You okay there?

Elton (swallowing it): I just puked in my mouth and swallowed it.

Bill:
What did it taste like?

Elton:
Toe fungus and a hint of cherry.

Bill:
How would you know what Toe Fungus tastes like?

We cut to Lo, eating skin off his thumb when a guard named Chan knocks on his cell.

Chan:
A woman is here to see you.

We cut to Sam talking to Lo.

Lo:
You broke up with him?

Sam:
Yeah, Plus, Xavier is a really good guy.

Lo:
Shoot, Chason say anything about getting me out?

Sam:
He said he quit hacking years ago.

Lo (sighing):
Of f***ing course he did.

Sam:
So, What about you?

Lo:
Other than wanting to break out and beat these guards up, Usual.

Sam:
I guess it is better to feel like the usual than feel bad.

Lo (whispering to her): Get closer to the window.

Sam gets closer to the window.

Lo:
I’ve got a plan to get out of here. Visit me the 9th, and I swear, I’ll be ready.

Sam:
What?

Lo:
Just do it!

Sam (getting up): No.

Lo:
Ah, Come on!

Sam:
I’m sorry, Lo. You’re my best friend, but--

Lo:
Ah, You’re nothing to me!

Sam (looking sad): Bill was right about you.

Lo:
BILL’S THE REASON WHY I’M IN HERE!

Sam:
You deserve it.

Lo begins punching the glass, Sam proceeds to walk off as guards grab Lo. We then cut to Bill and Elton getting in the car.

Elton:
So, You didn’t eat that?

Bill:
God no.

They’re inside the car, and they begin driving off.

Bill:
Drop me off over here.

Elton:
In the alley?

Bill:
Yeah.

Elton drops him off.

Bill:
You’re a good guy, Elton.

Elton:
Thanks, Bill, I hope you figure out what you’re trying to figure out or whatever.

Bill:
Thanks for being a buddy. Thanks for being my buddy when I needed one.

Elton waves bye at him, and drives off.

Elton:
Wait a second, I think I know that guy..

Bill (lying down on the wet ground): God, I haven’t been the greatest soul, I know, but I just want things to be honest. I’ve been honest, I’ve been loving to her. I want her back god, I want Tilly back too. But, I know, Things don’t go my way, but god, I just really, really want her back. I f***ing love Sam! I LOVE HER!

Bill jumps up. Several gang members around, which at first were laughing, are now praying (they have hand over chest too): along with him.

Bill:
I DESERVE HER! I’M SORRY ABOUT LO! HE WAS A GOOD GUY! HE WASN’T A BAD GUY! HE WAS A GREAT FRIEND!

Bill then wakes up on the air matress. He hears Lo yelling, and he walks in. He sees Lo placing the presents down.

Lo:
Hey, Bill!

Bill runs and hugs him.

Bill:
Lo, Thanks for being a good friend.

Lo:
Anytime, Bill, Did you have a nightmare or something?

Bill:
Something like that.

Lo:
You want me to get Sam and Tilly?

Bill:
No, I’ll get them.

Lo:
Okay.

A knock is heard, We cut to Bill waking Sam and Tilly up.

Bill:
Wakey wakey!

Sam (getting up): What?

Bill grabs Sam and kisses her. Tilly runs in the room Lo is in, and Sam and Bill share a kiss as we cut to Lo opening the door, and Dave is there.

Lo:
Aye, Dave.

Dave:
We still on for the Christmas Party, even though the snow is now blocking me and you guys inside?

Lo and Dave hug as we cut back to Bill and Sam kissing, They then stop.

Sam:
Dang, Billie Boi.

Bill:
I love you, Sam.

Sam:
We only known each other for a couple of months--

Bill:
Those have been the best months of my life.

Sam:
Best months, Are you hearing yourself?

Bill:
You’re a great girl, Just give me a shot.

Sam smiles at him, We then cut to Dave looking on his phone.

Dave:
People upvote this crap?

Knocking is heard again, We then cut to Sam and Bill (holding hands) opening the door.

Chason:
Yo, Man and Woman. I’ve got some crap for you guys.

Lo (looking up):
Chason! You made it!

Chason (walking towards Lo): I had to come! You guys are my best friends!

Dave:
Chason!

As Bill and Sam kiss again, and Chason, Dave, Lo, and Tilly begin opening gifts, we fade into the sky. The skies line up to say The End. In an after-credits scene, Dina is biting her nails when Dean comes running in.

Dean:
I finished my book! I finished it!

Dina (running and hugging him): Oh my god! That’s great!

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