The Somewhat Normal Life Of Billie Boi (0.5th Draft) Page #12

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Bill:
Is it?

Lo:
Yeah.

Sam:
No it’s not.

Lo:
YES. It is.

Bill (cracking an egg): Calm it. It is Christmas--

Lo:
No, It’s not! It is the 27th. Anyway, Let’s get to work.

Sam (getting off of stool): Since when was you “Ah, let’s get to work?”

Bill:
As he said, People change, Sam, People change.

Sam:
I guess so.

Lo:
UGH.

Bill (seeing Lo getting feverish): Are you okay?

Lo:
YEAH! Just slight headache.

Sam (feeling his forehead): You’re very hot.

Bill:
I’ll go get a thermometer.

Lo:
I’ve got an idea.

Lo runs back in his room. He takes 3 aspirins and one sleeping pill, and drinks tomato juice to gulp it down.

Lo:
That good. That good.

Lo falls to the floor. Bill and Sam run in.

Sam:
Oh my god!

Bill:
I’ve got the thermometer!

We flashback to Lo stalking Sam and Bill for the months they didn’t work for him. We then cut back to Bill checking Lo’s temp when Lo jumps up.

Bill:
What the?!

Sam (handing him a glass of water): Here you go.

Lo grabs it, and squeezes it so hard the glass breaks.

Sam:
What?!

Bill:
Are you okay, Lo?

Lo (sitting on his bed): Yeah, I just need some sleep--

Lo instantly falls asleep as his head hits the pillow.

Sam:
I think he’s sick.

Bill (feeling his neck): He’s fine!

Sam:
Is he?

Bill:
If he isn’t, We’ll send him to the doctor.

Sam:
Send him? Did you see the snow out there?

Bill:
It’s snowing?

Sam:
You didn’t know that?

Bill:
My memory sucks, So what?

Sam:
Ugh.

Bill:
UGH.

Sam (walking out): Oh boy.

Bill:
OH BOY WHAT?

We cut to Heather in the food truck, barking out orders.

Heather:
One burger with salsa!

Chason:
I should’ve stuck to hacking for money.

Heather (not hearing him): What?

Chason:
Nothing! Nothing!

Heather:
Whatever you say.

Heather then gets a call from an unknown number.

Heather (answering it): Who is this?

Lo (male):
Hello. Can I get a--

Heather:
You’re not the first man to tell me that, and you won’t be the last.

Lo:
Is a “Chason” there?

Heather:
Yes.

Lo:
Put him on.

Heather:
Ugh.

Heather yells for him.

Chason:
What? What?!

Heather:
It is for you.

Chason:
A phone call for me?

Heather:
Yeah yeah, you don’t get those often it seems.

Chason:
You suck.

Heather hands him the phone.

Chason:
Hello?

Lo:
We need to talk.

We cut back to Bill and Sam, now on the computer, attempting to code.Bill: There is a reason I didn'tWant to become a developer.

Sam:
I mean, It does pay well.

Bill:
I could sell my fingers, and it would pay well, And I still wouldn't do it.

Sam:
That's not what I mean.

Bill:
It isn't?

Sam:
No.

Bill:
Well, I--

Lo walks in.

Bill:
Lo!

Lo (feeling of head): What the crap happened to me?

Sam (running up to him and checking his forehead): You're still hot.

Lo (taking her hand off his forehead): I'll be fine, I'll be fine. I'll just go buy me some tama flu.

Sam:
They still make that?

Lo:
I think.

Bill:
Okay, Can I borrow your computer?

Lo (leaving out the door, in a hurry): Yeah, Sure.

Lo leaves.

Lo (outside the door): Man, It is freezing rain out here!

Sam:
I'm worried about Lo.

Bill:
Well, You shouldn't be.

Sam:
Why is that?

Bill:
It's allergy season, He's probably just a little stopped up.

Sam:
Stopped up?

Bill (picking up a broken bottle on the floor): It is allergy season--

Sam:
I think he's got the flu.

Bill (laughing):
You're hilarious.

Sam:
I'm being dead serious, Allergies don't do this to people--

Bill (walking in Lo's computer room): I would know, I have bad allergies.

Sam:
No you don't, You told me that the first day on your previous job--

Bill:
So?

We cut to Bill on the browser.

Bill:
God, this is slow.

A message from Chason pops up.

Chason:
I haven't got my payment yet.

Bill (clicking on it): What?

Bill replies back: Wdym?

Chason:
I haven't got my payment. You know the rules.

Bill (on computer): I thought I did.

Chason:
Well, You thought wrong.

Bill:
Maybe you thought wrong.

Chason:
This isn't going to help you.

Bill:
Do I want your help?

Chason:
I can end you.

Bill:
I would love that.

Chason:
You know the deal. Are you really wanting to mess this up? I got Sam and Bill for you, Remember that.

Bill:
What?

Chason:
The tax fraud, Are you just dumb now?

Bill (getting off laptop): What was that?

Sam walks in.

Sam:
What's going on?

Bill:
I'm suspicious of Lo.

Sam:
What do you mean?

Bill shows her the messages.

Sam:
Oh my God.

Bill:
The contact info says Hacker. I also kind of told him the last--

Sam:
No.

Bill (nodding):
Yes.

Sam:
Oh my God. Look what you've done!

Bill:
What? He brought this on himself!

Sam:
But does he deserve it?!

Bill:
YES! He ran over a man!

Sam:
You actually believe he died? No! They did it just to make it seem like he died so they could get more money off him!

Bill:
How do you know that?

Sam:
He's my half brother.

Bill (slamming laptop screen down): OF COURSE.

Sam:
Why are you yelling?

Bill (walking into the kitchen): I'm hungry.

Tilly (walking up to Bill): Meow?

Bill (grabbing her): Crap, I forgot to feed her!

Sam (grabbing her a can of cat food): Here it is.

We cut to Lo looking in Walmart at the Christmas trees.

Lo (picking at one): Why aren't these on sale, yet?

Elton (walking up to him): Is there anything I can help you with?

Lo:
Yeah, Can you f*** off? F***ing pigs, now working at Walmart. Oh f***ing boy! What's your name tag? Huh? Elton White? What kind of name is that?

Elton:
Do you have a problem with my name?

Lo:
Yeah, It f***ing sucks!

Elton:
You're not a very nice person, are you?

Lo (kicking the trees): I'm kicking the trees! Oh my God! What are you going to do about it?

Elton:
I will call Management--

Lo:
I will punch a motherf***er!

Elton:
Who is that--?

Lo punches Elton in the face, causing him to fall down.

Lo:
Someone needs to chain you up and teach you a life lesson.

Lo looks at the camera slyly, and looks back as 2 managers walk up to him.

Dave:
Sir, I'm going to need you to back away from the trees.

Lo (doing the Take the L dance): What are you going to do about it?! You're my friend!

Dave:
Lo?

Lo (screaming in their faces): You f***ing fools! You--

Mock pulls out a Taser.

Mock:
Listen here, kid.

Dave:
What are you doing?

Lo:
You fools! I--

Mock begins to tase Lo.

Lo:
What----fools---!

Dave:
Stop it! It's my friend--!

Mock:
I'm also a Police officer, This man committed tax fraud, credit fraud, and is a repossession man.

Elton:
Help-----me.

Mock:
Oh get up you fool, You're fine.

Elton:
No, I'm--coughs-- not.

Dave:
I don't think he's fine.

Mock:
He is.

Bill walks in.

Bill:
Lo?

Chason then comes running in.

Chason:
You f***.

Lo (putting two and two together): You…… You figured it out, huh?

Bill:
What happened, Lo, to get you to this point?

Chason:
He’s a f***ing idiot! That’s what! He thinks he’s smart, he thinks he can make it, BUT NO! He is just a little boy with a dream of having friends, and no bullies, but GUESS WHAT?! I’m that f***ing bully!

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