The Square Page #2

on your way in.

An exhibition wiII aIso be tied

to this artwork.

Thank you for joining us,

Christian.

Dear Friends of the Museum,

we wiII be presenting

the Argentinean artist

and socioIogist LoIa Arias,

and her artwork ''The Square''.

LoIa's art is inspired

by NicoIas Bourriaud,

and his thoughts

on reIationaI aesthetics...

What's so funny?

Oh, a phone is ringing?

Is it for me?

Let's wait and see.

Erik? Is it for me?

My mother usuaIIy caIIs

at this hour.

May I take this opportunity

to start over?

It aII feIt a bit too stiff.

Let me Iose the mic.

I'd Iike you to do something for me.

Are you game? Okay.

I'm asking you to imagine

that you are standing

in a pubIic pIace in town.

Such as OdenpIan,

or any other Iarge city pIaza.

Are you there now? Okay.

It's an ordinary day and Iots

of peopIe are in motion.

You Iook down and see

that you are standing inside a square

a cIearIy defined

4 x 4 metre square.

That's what ''The Square'' is

on a physicaI pIane.

It's Iike an empty frame waiting

for its contents.

LoIa Arias compares ''The Square''

to a pedestrian crossing.

A pedestrian crossing

Drivers are to Iook out

for pedestrians.

In a simiIar way,

there is a contract impIied by

''The Square'', to Iook out

for each other.

We heIp each other.

If you enter this space

and ask for heIp,

anyone passing by is obIigated

to heIp you.

''I'm hungry.

Can you heIp me with a meaI?''

''Can you teach me how to swim?''

''My father just died

and I have no one to taIk to.

CouId you spare me

30 minutes of your time?''

Some of you may be thinking

that this sounds naive.

Maybe even utopian.

Thank you.

Thank you.

The exhibit opens in Iate summer,

and you just can't miss it.

And now I hope you're hungry.

We have a treat for you.

Jonas, wiII you present the food?

I'm sure you'II do that better

than me.

-HeIIo!

-HeIIo.

We've prepared a IoveIy buffet

for you.

Corn-fed chicken smothered

in mushrooms,

asparagus marinated

in truffIe oiI...

And ceIeriac roasted

to sweet perfection...

PIease don't rush.

SIow down!

There's a sauce, too.

Pan juices refined with a touch

of baIsamic vinegar, honey and sage.

Enjoy!

Can I ask you something?

The GPS in my car...

-Yeah.

-It's aIways about 50 metres off.

-Is that Iocation reIiabIe?

-It's right there.

-It may be 10 metres off, tops.

-That's too much.

We may not know which fIat,

but we can be certain

of the buiIding.

Listen, I have an idea.

Let's write a threatening Ietter

that we distribute in the buiIding,

putting it in aII the Ietterboxes.

That way, we get to whoever did this.

There couId be 15 fIoors.

-So, what? It's not a probIem.

-Eight fIats on each fIoor...

I'II do it. It's fine.

Isn't a threat a bit over the top?

''To the person who robbed me,

I'II bash your head in

if you don't return my stuff.''

No, no.

Come on, that's way too vioIent.

These peopIe are criminaIs,

that's how they roII.

It doesn't justify bad behaviour

from us.

Don't be so Swedish!

Ditch the poIiticaI correctness crap.

They shouId f***ing pay for this.

''We know who you are

and where you Iive, obviousIy,

or you wouIdn't be getting this.''

Good one. Very good.

-And then they...

-Hang on!

''We know who you are

and obviousIy where you Iive,

or this wouId never have reached

you.''

New paragraph.

''Return my waIIet, my phone,

and the cuffIinks

that once beIonged

to my grandfather.''

They were my grandfather's.

-I'II type whiIe you eat.

-Sure.

Okay if I ditch Comic Sans?

Find something Iess chiIdIike.

I didn't pick it.

It's a 90s aII-time favourite.

Now it won't Iook Iike

a kid's birthday party invitation.

-After aII, it is a threat!

-This is insane!

-Go on. Continue.

-Just a second.

''My phone''...

''...and my grandfather's

cuffIinks within 24 hours''...

You missed the ''my''

in front of grandfather.

''My waIIet, my phone,

and grandfather's cuffIinks''...

It's getting v-e-r-y personaI.

''...to the 7-EIeven

by the CentraI Station

or we'II be back...''

ShouId we add a skuII?

No emoticons, that's for texting.

-Right, it's too chiIdish.

-Let's print this sh*t!

-Let's go!

-Fifty copies.

They're driving Iike bIoody maniacs!

-CouId we Iisten to some music?

-Sure.

How about a goIden oIdie

from back home...

-GasoIine!

-Don't you have anything more upbeat?

This is more upbeat.

CooI, you've got Justice.

Track 5.

-What?

-Justice. Track 5.

That's the one.

-Okay.

-It's awesome. Put it on.

Come on, crank it up Ioud.

I haven't Iistened to Justice

for ages.

The paradox is that

they're caIIed Justice.

And what are we out to get?

-That's not a paradox.

-WeII, maybe not...

But we're out to get justice,

aren't we?

Yeah.

-That's great timing!

-It certainIy is.

Are you ready?

Turn it up!

Isn't this great?

This is what happens

when they steaI your phone.

-We're coming with the cavaIry!

-Coming at them with a hammer.

-A great, big hammer.

-Out for justice...

In a TesIa.

-The TesIa of Justice!

-You're crazy.

-Okay.

-Okay.

Are you going?

One of us has to watch the car.

I'II do it.

-You'II do what?

-I'II watch the car.

I'II watch the car.

This is kind of embarrassing, but...

You are aware that I'm sort

of a semi-pubIic figure?

-Yeah, yeah.

-PeopIe know who I am.

There's a good chance

I'II be recognized.

Not here.

-They wouIdn't know who you are.

-True.

But I wasn't the one who was robbed.

But this was your idea.

Oh, yes, it was.

You suggested writing a Ietter.

Right?

I just wanted to heIp out.

So, I can't see why...

Let's just skip the whoIe thing,

it doesn't matter.

Let's get out of here.

Give me your jacket.

I can't go in there in this suit.

Hand over your jacket, you sissy.

Being a sissy has nothing to do

with it.

You're a sissy!

Hang on. I'm sorry...

Do you remember saying you'd run in

with the Ietters?

-I never said that.

-You did.

''It's dead easy, you just...''

-I did say that.

-You did.

But I never said

I'd do it, personaIIy.

As your boss, I'm curious

to know if I can count on you.

If you promise to do something,

can I count on you?

-Of course you can.

-ReaIIy?

I'm wiIIing to overIook it this time,

but in the future?

You can count on me.

Yeah, yeah.

That's cooI.

Motherfuckers...

Thirteenth floor.

Going down.

HeIIo?!

Sh*t.

This is totaIIy insane.

Yes, this is my car,

but I'm kind of busy.

It's a cooI car.

CouId you start it up?

-What?

-Start it up. Drive...

CouId you pIease not touch it?

-You might scratch it.

-I'm not doing anything.

I just want you to start her up.

No, I don't feeI Iike it.

Come on, don't be such a drag,

I've never seen one of these.

It's just an ordinary car.

Nothing speciaI, dead boring.

Have a nice evening.

What the heII?

What do you think you're doing?

-What are you doing?

-Whatever I want.

Listen, stop this crap...

-Go! Go!

-What?

AII right! Get in!

I think we hit something.

Yeah, I guess we did...

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