The Squeeze Page #7

all over our sense

of fair play here, Jack.

If you ask me, buster, you may as well

just lower the flag down and puke on it.

That is why you've got to

turn this tug around, Jack.

Not just for me,

not just for you,

not even for Rachel,

the woman I love.

You know who for, Jack?

For America.

You've got to turn

this tug around

for the American way.

Are you saying I wasted 4 bucks?

Yes!

Well, let's turn

this sucker around!

It's now time

to play the largest jackpot

in history!

(CHEERING)

It's time to play lotto!

I want the money.

Give me the money.

Please, Tommy.

Darme dinero.

Come on. Come on.

That's it.

Poor to rich,

the first number is...

25!

(CHEERS)

TOM:
Pauper to prince,

the second number is...

32!

(CHEERS)

Pizza maker to pizza king,

the third number is...

Can I help you?

Uh, no.

I think I got it.

Let me see you out that door.

Aah!

Open this door!

TOM:
Pauper to lord,

the fourth number is...

WOMAN:
Number 4!

Go, four, go!

(SCATTERED JEERING)

Loser to winner,

the fifth number is...

What is this?

I don't know.

CROWD:
Fake! Fake! Fake!

Fake!

Fake!

Indigent to kingpin,

the sixth number is...

Fake! Fake! Fake!

Gem, get the box!

Wait! I'm Honest Tom!

RACHEL:
Help me! Help me!

Help! Help! Help!

RACHEL:
Harry!

Aah!

(SCREAMS)

HARRY:
Hey, Rigaud!

Who taught you to shoot,

Ray Charles?

Come on up. You missed me

by a mile. I'll show you.

(HUMMING BONANZA THEME)

Aah.

Stop!

Stop her!

Ooh! Oh!

Freeze. Put your hands

behind your head.

Hiya.

This is really a big gun, huh?

(LAUGHS)

Unh-unh-unh-unh-unh!

Why don't you drop

that little gun of yours?

Otherwise, they're going

to be looking for body parts

all over the Midwest.

Another bluff, Mr. Berg.

Really, I'm afraid

your imagination

has finally outpaced

the possibility of reality.

Have you ever been to Kansas?

You think I'm bluffing?

Go ahead. Look right into my eyes.

You tell me what you see, pal.

I see a dead clown.

(C*CKS GUN)

OK.

(GUN C*CKS)

Au revoir.

Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Did my eye twitch?

Aah!

(LAUGHS)

(IMITATING BEN CARTWRIGHT)

Well, Adam, Little Joe, Hoss,

let's ride, boys.

Hyah!

(SHOUTING)

MAN:
There he is!

There's Harry!

(SHOUTING)

Yeah!

MAN:
Come on, Harry!

WOMAN:
Harry, what was your first clue

that something wasn't right?

Got it?

I don't know,

I guess I was spending a lot more time

in the East River than I'm used to.

(LAUGHTER)

Mr. Berg, tell us what it feels like

to give up half of $56 million, huh?

A lot like sticking your head

in a blender, ma'am.

Get the back?

(SHOUTING)

MAN:
Step aside.

What made you do it? You know a lot of people

wouldn't give up that kind of money.

Yeah, well, seems to me, if you really

want something badly enough,

you usually have to give something up.

If I've learned anything, I learned that.

I'll tell you who you should be talking to,

is this girl, excuse me, this woman

named Rachel Dobs.

She's the one that really cracked this thing,

and she wants to be a detective,

and I'm sure it's going to happen now.

Thanks a lot!

That's enough questions

for tonight.

Hey, uh, Sergeant,

let me ask you a question.

Has Rachel Dobs left yet?

Yep. She left

about an hour ago.

Did she leave any kind of

message for me or anything?

She didn't say anything

or, uh, nothing?

No. Sorry, Harry. Nothing.

We don't keep the guns

loaded and ready, you know?

WOMAN:
Yeah, well I heard...

(PERSON WHISTLING

BONANZA THEME)

(WHISTLING RESUMES)

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