The Squid and the Whale Page #2

Synopsis: In 1986, In Brooklyn, New York, the dysfunctional family of pseudo intellectuals composed by the university professor Bernard and the prominent writer Joan split. Bernard is a selfish, cheap and jealous decadent writer that rationalizes every attitude in his family and life and does not accept "philistines" - people that do not read books or watch movies, while the unfaithful Joan is growing as a writer and has no problems with "philistines". Their sons, the teenager Walt and the boy Frank, feel the separation and take side: Walt stays with Bernard, and Frank with Joan, and both are affected with abnormal behaviors. Frank drinks booze and smears with sperm the books in the library and a locker in the dress room of his school. The messed-up and insecure Walt uses Roger Water's song "Hey You" in a festival as if it was of his own, and breaks up with his girlfriend Sophie. Meanwhile Joan has an affair with Frank's tennis teacher Ivan and Bernard with his student Lili.
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Director(s): Noah Baumbach
Production: Samuel Goldwyn Films
  Nominated for 1 Oscar. Another 23 wins & 47 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.4
Metacritic:
82
Rotten Tomatoes:
93%
R
Year:
2005
81 min
£7,073,391
Website
2,641 Views


- Dad, what will happen with the cat?

- We'll figure something out.

Is it because Dad isn't

as successful as he used to be?

Now that you're publishing

and he isn't, is that it?

- That's not nice to say.

- This is a great family.

Why are you screwing it up?

- If we could avoid it, I would.

- Why now?

- You've been together 1 6 years.

- Seventeen.

I can't imagine living like this.

Don't most of your friends

already have divorced parents?

Yeah, but I don't.

Well, now you do.

- I think you're doing a foolish thing.

- I understand how unhappy you are.

I'm unhappy too.

And I don't want you or Frank...

...to blame yourself for any of this.

It has nothing to do with you.

It's okay. Go back to sleep.

- Are those your books?

- Yes. These are my books.

Why are they going under my bed?

Because I bought them,

and I don't wanna lose them.

We'll put them back on the shelf

when your father leaves.

Until things are certain, we shouldn't

say anything to anyone yet.

- Why?

- Because we never know.

And I don't want people to know our business.

I told Carl.

- Already?

- I called him last night.

I also told Matt and Dale.

And Dale? Sh*t, now everyone

will know. Jesus, Frank.

- Mom says we should tell people.

- Mom doesn't go to school.

Stop crying.

- Joint custody blows.

- I was told it's better.

It's miserable. My parents didn't

wanna uproot me and Rebecca.

So we stayed in the house.

They took separate apartments...

...and switched off coming to us.

Then my mom met Dexter.

My dad freaked out.

And then they sold the house,

and I go back and forth anyway.

God, joint custody blows.

Thanks. Yeah, I forgot to take these.

She has a few of my books still.

She wrote her maiden name in them

when she knew we were splitting.

But these were mine.

- Are you and Walt stealing from Mom?

- These were mine, Frank.

Watch it! Jesus!

Hey, brother. Walt.

Bernard, Joan says you have a check for me.

She said that? No, tennis is hers.

Our separation agreement says

she handles tennis and winter coats.

- I do sneakers and camp.

- Okay. I'll take it up with her.

Walt.

Ivan's a bit of a half-wit, isn't he?

It was important to me

to have a place like your mother's.

I'm gonna cook and run the household

like you're used to.

- This is nothing like our house.

- You mean, your mother's house.

- What?

- This isn't like your mother's house.

- That's what I said.

- You said, "Our house."

That's your mother's house.

This is your house too.

- No, this is your house.

- It's our house.

I hate Nastase. You know that. Ivan met

Nastase and said he was an a**hole.

- Well, I couldn't find Vitas Gerulaitis.

- I have a Vitas poster at home.

At Mom's. And all my turtles.

We can get some turtles.

I know you like amphibians.

Turtles are reptiles.

Here's a desk for you to do your homework.

Dad, this is for a lefty.

Dad got me a lefty desk.

Don't be difficult.

We need to be supportive of Dad.

- I hate it here.

- Don't be a chick.

- You can get a righty desk later.

- Why do I want a desk at home?

I don't want a chalkboard or a bell

going off every 45 minutes either.

- He likes being with us.

- He likes having us in the house.

You got books. I didn't get books.

Because these are the books Dad knows I like.

- I wanna go back to Mom's.

- Why? She caused this, chick.

- I'm not "chick."

- Yes, you are.

- Chick, this is Mom's doing.

- Stop calling me chick!

Mom told us they'd never get divorced.

So Mom's a liar.

F***! That hurt!

I'm not being a chick, you f***ing ass man.

You're hurting me, really hurting me.

One turtle would've made a difference.

You live in Park Slope, right?

My mom does. And I do sometimes.

I live on the other side of the park

half the time.

- Prospect Heights?

- I'm not sure.

The street's Stratford Road.

My dad's moving there.

I hear it's the fillet of the neighborhood.

- You like Franz Kafka?

- I don't know him.

He's great. The Metamorphosis

is a masterpiece.

- Sounds good.

- Yeah, it is.

- Have you read This Side of Paradise?

- No, but it's minor Fitzgerald.

- ls it? I loved it.

- It's a minor work.

Gatsby is his masterpiece.

And Tender is the Night is dazzling.

Last Tycoon, had he finished it....

I hope you like it. Your notes

were awesome, Bernard.

I loved your idea for the change

in tense at the end.

It could be the coup of the story.

I reread A Hunger Artist on your

suggestion and stole a couple things.

- See if you can spot them.

- Good story to steal from.

- F***!

- Frank.

Sorry.

How long were you and Mom not getting along?

A couple of years.

I thought we would work it out.

I wanted to. I tried.

As you know, I tried very hard.

- Your mother wasn't interested in that.

- Why not?

- I think it has very little to do with me.

- Sh*t! F***er!

- Frank!

- She could never make up her mind.

She'd pull away and then get angry

at me for not being more aggressive.

Her affair with Richard

made it difficult for me...

...to save the marriage.

It became a fait accompli.

- Affair?

- With Richard.

- Who's Richard?

- A man from the neighborhood.

I think she met him at one of Frank's

Little League games. A shrink.

Seems sort of like an ordinary guy.

Not an intellectual.

- How long was she having the affair?

- About four years.

- You're kidding.

- No. I thought you knew this.

No. No.

F*** that cock sh*t!

Frank, you gotta relax, my brother.

- Hey, Mom.

- Hey, honeys.

- What are you doing?

- Just changing things around a bit.

I've come by to tell you

I'm not staying here anymore.

- Why?

- You know why.

- I don't.

- Frank, do you know why?

- No.

- Why don't you tell me?

Because you cheated on Dad.

How did you hear that?

- Your father told you.

- Yeah, he told me.

Why did you, Mom?

I was having a hard time.

Where were we during this?

Did you bring men home?

Not while-- Not....

Not when your father was in town.

You actually met Richard, both you boys.

He came over for takeout once.

You talked about the Stones.

Oh, God. Under our noses.

Like a brothel. Men coming in and out.

- Shut up.

- If you want me to explain, I will.

- I don't wanna hear it.

- I do.

Walt doesn't, so I won't say anything.

- Walt can leave.

- You disgust me.

You weren't even a writer until recently.

You bailed on Dad because he's not

successful and hasn't got recognition.

- You sound like your father.

- I'm glad. You disgust me.

You're being a sh*t, Walt.

- I'm taking the cat.

- You can't have him. It's his night here.

Okay, you can kiss me now.

No, the moment's ruined.

- I'll go sneak up and surprise Chrissy.

- It's not her birthday.

She also had an affair with some therapist.

- I don't wanna know.

- And Otto's father, Don.

- Otto's father?

- Yeah, but it's over.

She said the affairs

have been miserable for her.

She's dating now, but nothing serious.

She's crazy. She should keep

her affairs to herself.

- I'm not going back.

- You have to, joint custody.

Rate this script:3.0 / 1 vote

Noah Baumbach

Noah Baumbach is an American independent filmmaker. He was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay for The Squid and the Whale and is known for making dramatic comedies. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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