The Standoff Page #9

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There has to be a winner.

I'm sorry.

Rules are rules.

Now, I would like

to thank both of you

for your participation

by awarding you

these authentic

big Jim key rings, huh?

- I don't want that.

- You sure?

- I'm positive.

- All right,

'cause I ain't

gonna offer it again.

Anyways, I want to wish

both of you a fantastic day.

Thank you for playing.

- Can he do that?

- I don't care if he can or not.

- We're not gonna let him.

- This isn't fair!

Dude, come on. We stood

there for three days.

- Stop ignoring us.

- Is this just some big scam

to get people

to come to your dealership?

Were you even

gonna give us a car

or are you just a crook?

Me?

I'm the crook?

What about you?

You cheated!

You tried to lure her away

with that

good-lookin' guy.

And you, you poisoned him!

I got a news flash for you.

Both of you were

looking for the easy way

to get what you want.

That's what you all do now.

I'll tell you something,

when I was your age,

I had to work for my first car.

Okay, I worked,

and I saved money for a year

so that I could afford

the car of my dreams.

Now, you guys

think life is just,

I don't know, what,

some big popularity contest

and whoever

has the most friends wins.

You want something bad enough?

Well, you've gotta work for it.

You ain't gonna get it for free.

And you sure ain't gonna take it

from somebody else.

We're not like that.

The contest is over!

Read the rules!

It says very clear

in section three,

paragraph five, line six,

"the last person with their hand

on that car wins!"

There was no last person

and you both lose!

Now if you will

kindly excuse me,

I have a business to run.

Wait!

Wait, no, I remember now.

There was someone

with their hand on the car.

It was Amy.

She won.

No. No, no, no, no, no.

It was Farrell.

I lifted my hand first, okay?

Farrell won, fair and square.

No, I definitely did not win,

that did not happen.

Yes, you did, okay? Stop

trying to be so competitive.

If I said you won, you won.

I admit it, total loser,

right here.

No, you won, Farrell.

So shines a good deed

on a weary world.

That was it.

Right there, that is what

I was waiting for! Huh?

So, were we competing for a car

or for your chocolate factory?

Don't you see?

Guys, you were competing

for all that's good

in the world.

Hmm, you were competing

for virtues and values

and honor and all that's right.

Well, yes, true,

you were competing

for yourselves...

But you were also competing

for each other.

I was competing for the car.

Yeah, listen, about the car...

Mommy made me eat my M&Ms.

Mommy made me eat my...

- Hi, it's Maya here.

- And Mia.

- And...

- We're back!

And back together

because we're the only ones

who can stand to be around us.

Love you forever.

Oh, I love you too.

We all know you're wondering

who won big Jim's

dream car contest,

and we're here

with all the gory details.

We'll get to the winner

in a sec,

but first, let's take a

look at all the losers.

Colby Mann didn't live up

to his name

and went all girly

less than 15 minutes in.

Now, instead of wearing

an athletic supporter,

- he is one.

- Aw, poor Colby.

Lala Zzyzx didn't win,

and to be honest,

I like the way she looked

before her makeover.

Oh, my gosh, so glad

you said something,

'cause I totally agree.

You should never

give into peer pressure.

Don't change

to be like everyone else.

Seriously, just keep it real.

Klyde Kosar didn't win,

which is really sad

because he was really cute.

- Oh, yeah.

- Although he later attempted

to set a record

for jumping his motorcycle

over 53 food trucks.

How impressive.

He's my man crush Monday

every single Monday.

Unfortunately,

it didn't work out

quite how he planned.

We wish you

a speedy recovery, Klyde.

We really do.

Call me, Klyde.

Call me.

Call me.

Call me.

Jerome Bryant lost the contest,

but won a recording contract.

More importantly though,

how did he teach that cat

to rap?

- Yeah, how?

- That cat is so talented.

Seriously, I wish I had half

the talent that cat has.

Sophie Jackson...

- Wait, what even happened to her?

- I don't know.

She hasn't tweeted

in three days.

It's like she's fallen

off the face of the earth.

Sophie, if you're okay,

please let us know by

tweeting a selfie or something.

Hashtag

"sophiewhereareyou?"

Which of course leaves just two,

our very own Katniss and Peeta.

Katniss and Peeta?

- They're here?

- N-no.

Amy Robertson

and Farrell Bennett.

Oh.

So, which one won?

Who was the ultimate winner

of their dream car?

It was a tie!

Fifty hours.

I did not think

you would make it past four.

What can I say?

I can wait years

for something I want.

Yeah, you might want

to keep your hands

on the steering wheel

there, don Juan.

Okay.

You, uh, you might need this.

Yeah, okay!

This is so awesome.

Let's go, let's go.

Thank you.

That, my friend,

is the future driving off there.

It don't look so bad.

Come on, Bo.

I'm gonna take you for a walk.

Ah, ah.

I'm sorry.

That was wrong of me.

I can't walk you

without a leash!

That'd be against the law!

Come on, Bo!

You know, that was actually

a lot of fun.

- Were you just gonna kiss me?

- No.

You were totally

just gonna kiss me just then.

Do you have a problem with that?

I have a huge problem with that.

If anyone's gonna kiss anyone,

I'm gonna kiss you first.

No, because the thing is,

is I thought of it first.

You did not think of it first.

I literally guarantee

you that I thought of...

No, no, no, no,

that is not true.

- Pretty true, I'd say.

- Hey, guys.

Can you just kiss already?

Yeah, that's just fine.

- Cool.

- Okay.

- Hey, when do I get to drive?

- Tomorrow.

We agreed, I get the car on

Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays,

and you get it on Tuesdays,

Thursdays, and Saturdays.

And we get it on Sundays.

- Maybe.

See, we can all work together.

Everything doesn't have to be

a competition all the time.

- Cool.

- Wait, guys, was that...

Pay attention to the road.

- Okay,

I don't need you

telling me how to drive.

Well, obviously you need

someone telling you.

I thought we were past this.

- I thought you changed.

- Changed from what?

A licensed driver?

I know what I'm doing.

- You just need to calm down.

- Okay, Amy, this is really...

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