The Stolen Jools

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Hello!

What? A murder?

That ain't news. We had three yesterday.

Hello!

Los Angeles is on fire?

All right. I'll send a man down.

Hello!

What? A car parked on the wrong side

of the street?

Did you ring?

Yes! Call out for reserves, will ya?

Reserves!

(babbling)

(babbling)

And then she says I love you, Reginald.

Hey, Sherlock. Did you hear about

the jewel robbery at the ball last night?

Oh, go on away!

I'm writing one of them scenarios.

Hey, now, just a minute,

you great big flat-footed cop!

You better listen to me!

Somebody stole Norma Shearer's jewels.

Well? What of it?

They stole 'em from us!

Why, the dirty crooks!

Inspector Kane speaking.

What?

I'll get right over with two of my best men.

Come on! Go home, go home!

Didn't you hear me? I said go home.

You can't sit around here

dirtying this place up eating ice-cream.

Miss Shearer won't like it.

Miss Shearer she bought it for us.

Oh, of course, that's different.

You sweet little dears.

Hey! The cops!

Thank you, boys.

Where'll you be when I need you?

Right here.

Okay.

I told you not to make that last payment.

Of course I've lost them.

Don't sit there looking as though I hadn't.

I wouldn't have lost them for the world.

They were all mementos.

But uhm...

Hedda, don't talk so much!

But uhm...

I've looked there, too.

But...

I've looked there already.

But who was there?

Well, let me see.

I was with Billy Haines... Jack Gilbert...

We don't want any!

Whether you want it or not, you're gonna get it!

Joan Crawford...

Miss Shearing.

Oh, Inspector. I've been waiting for you.

Did you ever lose any jewels before?

Why, no, sir. Not this week.

Do you suspect anyone?

My nerves are so shocked I suspect everyone.

You weren't at the ball, were you?

Why, no, mam. I never go...

Ah, you hesitate.

You've found them!

Oh, isn't he a lovely man.

Do give them to me.

Calm yourself, lady.

I'll find your jewels or die.

I wish you would!

Huh?

Joan, you mean you actually took it.

Yes.

You see, I came home from the dance

with it hidden under my wrap...

for fear someone would take it from me.

Well, Joan, if we weren't such good friends, I'd say...

You'd say what?

I won't say it.

Oh, Bill. If you'd wanted something all your life

and fate laid it right in your palm?

What would you do?

Grab it and run like...

Hm-hmm.

Like you did.

But you have to take it back.

No, I'll never take it back.

Oh, yes you will.

Come on, hand it over!

Who are you?

Inspector Kane. I heard what you said.

You stole Miss Shearer's jewels.

Jewels?

You're crazy!

Here's what I took.

Miss Lee, I'd like to ask you...

I know, you want my autograph.

Oh, forget it.

Excuse me, Mr. Lowe, but I want to ask you

about the ball last night.

What ball?

You know, you were there with this lady.

Oh, yeah?

Get out, get out!

Go on!

Yes, sir.

So you double crossed me, uh?

You know? I don't think they like me.

Were they there?

Oh, I didn't wait for the answer.

Go on back and find out.

Yes, mam.

What?

Yes, sir.

Excuse me, please.

I forgot to wait for the answer.

Hey, listen. If you don't get out of here,

I'll send you back to Poland in a pine box.

Not Poland. Sweden.

All right, Sweden.

Oh, thank you very much.

Well, what did he say?

Oh, he's a nice fellow.

He's going to send me to Sweden.

Come on with me.

Mr. McLaglen, can I talk to you?

What is it?

Norma Shearer's jewels were stolen last night.

Do you know anything about them?

Are you insinuating that I took them?

No, I'm only asking you.

Now you see what you've done?

He won't send me back to Sweden.

Oh, yes he will.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself

hitting a little Norwegian like that.

Says who?

Says me!

Excuse me gentlemen.

I 'm not from Norway. Sweden.

That picture should be over on the left.

No, it should be over on the right.

Is that so?

Yes, and so are you.

I wanna see Winnie Lightner.

807!

Thank you.

How did you know she was in 807?

There you are...

Singing in the bath...

Oh, for the love of my hosier shirt,

I'll be right there.

Singing in the rain...

Hello?

Inspector Kane speaking.

Can I see you now, Miss Lightner?

Good gracious! I hope not!

Fifi, a package of cigarettes.

What kind, monsieur?

Chesterfield.

Do you want a match?

I get one for you.

Hum, seorita?

I see you are very popular with the ladies, yes?

I like all the pretty girls.

Oh... some matches?

Gracias.

Well, such popularity must be deserved.

You flatter me.

Pardon me. Mr. Baxter.

Did you attend that ball last night?

Oh, no, no. I'm so sorry,

but I do not dance in English.

Adis.

Au revoir.

I know you. You're miss Irene Dunne,

aren't you?

Yes, I'm Irene Dunne.

What do you know about those stolen jewels?

Jewels? Oh! Were they in a purple box?

Yes!

With a silver padlock?

Yes!

And a gold ribbon wrapped around them?

Yes!

I never saw them.

You know, I'm still nervous.

What you need is a cup of coffee.

Hey, waiter, bring me a cup of coffee.

Just as soon as I can get to you.

I don't like that guy.

I don't think he's a waiter.

At least he don't act like one.

Oh, yes he does.

I think he's a crook.

Yeah? Wait a minute, I'll ask him.

Son, are you a crook?

I mean. What is your business?

I'm Inspector Kane.

What did I tell you?

What do you mean?

Well, if you're an inspector, what are you doing here?

Shhh! I'm looking for pearls.

Why don't you try the oysters?

Now, wait a minute!

Let me tell you something. This is serious.

There was a ball given last night...

Yeah, it's still on the menu.

What's on the menu?

Codfish ball.

Listen, this is serious.

This ball was given for ladies and gentlemen.

We weren't there then.

No...

The jewels were stolen from Norma Shearer.

Does she work here?

No, she don't. But I'm gonna get those jewels.

You know anything about it.

Wait a minute.

If there was a ball given last night

and any jewels were stolen...

had we been there, he would have gotten them.

Now why make a crack like that?

I had nothing...

Hey, did you ever steal anything?

Wait a minute. Better let me handle this.

Wait a minute.

Now?

Now.

What do you mean by doing that?

He told me to do it.

He did?

You tell everything you know, don't you?

Don't give me that!

Wait a minute, wait a minute!

Did you ever do this before?

Yes. In Rio Rita we did...

You did, well then...

Pardon me, Mr. Dix.

I'm a detective.

Where can I find Lowell Sherman?

A detective?

Yes.

Well, you ought to know where to find him.

By the way, how did you know I was Richard Dix?

I guessed it.

Well, you guess where Lowell is, will you?

Embrace him.

You don't thank him and them kiss him.

But naturally I thank him and then kiss him.

There are different kinds of embraces.

Tommy, did you get that man

who plays the detective?

Yes, sir. Right here.

Oh. Who are you?

I'm a detective.

No, you're not.

You won't do.

You don't look a bit like a detective.

Come on, Phil, will ya?

Get that.

Oh.

No, no, no,

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