The Stray Page #4

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So why not

Take a look now?

Kick out the devil's sin

And pick up

Pick up a good book now

Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

[Stevens vocalizing]

Nice.

Well, boys... we are lost.

- Really?

- Wow.

Wait, no,

if that's the trail sign,

then Twelve Mile Lake

is just two miles up that hill.

Huh?

What do you think?

I think

I'd feel a lot better

if you weren't asking nine-year-old

boys for directions.

[laughs]

Well said.

There's only one way to find out.

Let's get groovin'!

- Did you just say "groovin'"?

- Amen, verily.

[Pluto barking]

[barking continues]

So, Mr. Davis,

what do you do?

- I'm a writer.

- Cool.

Do you, like,

write books and stuff?

Screenplays, mostly,

for TV shows and movies.

- Is that why you lived in Hollywood?

- Yeah.

Did you ever meet

David Hasselhoff?

No, I never met the Hoff.

Or Pamela Anderson?

No. I used to work out

with Jim Brooks.

- Who?

- Have you ever seen The Simpsons?

Yeah. I-I mean, no. My parents

won't let me watch that.

But they let you watch

Pamela Anderson,

the, uh, "lifeguard" running

in slow motion down the beach?

Well... [chuckles]

she saved my life.

Twenty-nine by twenty-nine

Hurrah, hurrah

The ants go marching 29 by 29

Hurrah, hurrah

The ants go marching 29 by 29

The little one stops to

[Smitty]

Frankenstein!

Frankenstein

And they all go marching

- So, we're lost, huh?

- No.

We're right here, which means the

lake is right over that hill.

Over that hill, my butt.

Hey, now,

simmer down.

Keep an eye on this.

- [grunts]

- Hey, Son.

You want

a sip of water?

What are you aiming for?

Those clouds look sad.

Sad?

Like they're about to do

something they don't want to do.

You having

any fun out here?

- I guess.

- That's good.

Okay, boys.

It's time to saddle up.

This is the last hill.

I'm sure of it.

- Do we have to?

- Yes, you have to.

Didn't your dad tell you?

I'm the boss.

You have to do

everything I say.

Okay, this is the last hill,

I swear.

I'm about to start

swearing something myself.

Oh, come on. Let's go.

[barks]

So there was a teenage boy named

Ozzy who only had one eyeball.

And there was a school dance coming

up, and Ozzy didn't want to go

because he thought everyone

would make fun of him.

But his best friend,

Jackson, is going,

and he really wants Ozzy

to come with him,

so he tells him, "Listen, there is

this girl that I can set you up with.

She's really nice

and she's got a pretty face."

And Ozzy said,

"If she's got a pretty face,

there's no way she's gonna want to

dance with a guy with one eyeball."

But Jackson said,

"Well, she's not perfect.

She's got

kind of chubby legs.

And we can make you

a fake eyeball out of wood."

So that's what they did.

They worked really hard

on this eyeball.

They sanded it

and painted it

and they popped it into Ozzy's empty

eyeball socket and they went to the dance.

Jackson pointed out the girl

across the dance floor,

and Ozzy went up to her and asked

her, would she like to dance.

And the girl got

really excited and said,

"Would I? Would I?"

And Ozzy said,

"Fat legs! Fat legs!"

[laughing]

- Yeah, you love that joke.

- [barks]

Hmm.

Hey, guys?

I think we better

make camp here tonight.

We'll find the lake

tomorrow.

[thunderclap]

Come on, guys!

- [barking]

- Come on, Pluto!

Who's down

for some hot chocolate?

- I am!

- Me too.

- Sounds good.

- All right.

Here, buddy.

I'll do that.

Why don't you warm up

in your sleeping bag?

There you go.

There you are.

- What's wrong?

- [whining]

[thunderclap]

[whimpers]

Mommy! Mommy!

Mommy! Mommy!

Oh. Rachel. What...?

I'm worried about Daddy,

Christian, and Pluto.

Oh, okay. Well, here.

Sit next to me.

I think we should pray.

That's a good idea.

Dear God, I'm scared

for Daddy and Christian

and Pluto the Wonder Dog.

Dad?

Dad! Wake up!

Pluto! Pluto, wake up!

Smitty. Clark.

Guys, wake up. Come on!

What happened?

No!

[panting]

It's okay, Clark.

You're okay.

What's going on?

I think we got hit

by lightning.

- Holy smokes!

- I know.

Is your dad... dead?

[Mitch's voice] On a boat in the

Aegean, in a company of men,

I walk to find a place

where I might find you.

Through the waves, a prow.

Through the clouds, a moon.

In the wind, your voice.

"It will be all right.

It will."

- Don't die, Dad!

- What do we do?

- We could do mouth-to-mouth!

- My dad's dead!

- Do you know how?

- I learned on Baywatch!

Okay, Clark,

you can do this.

[blows]

It didn't work!

Please send angels to watch

over them and us too.

Amen.

Amen.

Oh, you know what? I think I

left Kinsey's window open.

So you stay here,

lay down, close your eyes.

Close your eyes,

and I'll be right back.

"An old poem I wrote just in

case you miss me. Love, Mitch."

[no audible dialogue]

[Michelle]

"On a boat in the Aegean,

in a company of men,

I walk to find a place

where I might find you.

Through the waves, a prow.

Through the clouds, a moon.

In the wind, your voice.

It will be all right.

It will.'"

[crying]

God... help us.

Pluto is dead.

Mitch is...

hurt.

We're scared. Please make

the lightning stop.

[crying]

God, I promise I will never do

another bad thing in my entire life

if Mitch

will just wake up.

I promise. Amen.

[Mitch's voice] The horizon offering

nothing but your softness at my back.

[Michelle] "It was and

always will be a man..."

[Mitch]

A woman... and the wind.

[Michelle]

"A man, a woman, and the wind."

[Rachel]

Mommy! Mama!

[sniffles]

Dad, I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

[Christian crying]

[male voice]

Ask... in... confidence.

[Mitch's voice]

Life! Give me life!

Please wake up, Dad.

Please wake up.

[Christian] Dad.

I'm so sorry.

Please wake up, Dad.

Please.

[gasps]

What happened?

- We got hit by lightning.

- What?

Come on, Christian.

What happened?

Oh, wow. Wow.

Pluto's dead.

[crying]

Oh.

Thank you.

[thunderclaps]

I'm sorry, Son.

[thunderclaps continue]

All right, guys.

I need a favor.

I can't feel

my arms or my legs,

so I need you to slap 'em

and move 'em around,

try and help me get some feeling

back in 'em, all right?

Thank you.

Yeah, thanks.

Hey, Clark?

Could you grab that rag and wipe

off some of this blood off my ear?

Yeah, sure.

Uh, um, the blood

isn't on your ear.

It's coming out of it.

Oh.

Okay.

Hey, guys.

What's that smell?

[snickering]

- Knock it off!

- Seriously, what happened?

Clark crapped himself when

the lightning hit his butt.

Did not!

I think your pants

beg to differ.

[chuckles]

Hey, congratulations,

Clark.

I think you made

your first meadow muffin.

[thunderclap]

[sighs]

All right, guys.

This is actually working.

I'm starting to get some

feeling back in my fingertips.

Thank you.

There's no way I can hike

off this mountain tonight,

so, uh... why don't we settle

in for the night, okay?

Get ready for bed.

[thunder rumbling]

Okay, boys.

I need to get serious

for just a second.

Um...

I need to tell you what to

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