The Strongest Man in the World Page #2

ever finds out about this... Quigley, you're... (GROANS) Yes, sir? I'm what? You're... (GASPING) What's the matter, sir? I'm what? You're... (GASPING) Boy, he sure is having trouble

getting out that announcement. (GASPING CONTINUES) You're fired. - Fired?

- Fired? Yes. Fired. - Well, what about his promotion?

- Promotion? Quigley, just as soon as you can

get out, I want you out of here! Out! Out! Out! Out! Out! And another thing! You kids better

stop thinking about fat cows and think about some way to make

some money for this school, because if you don't in 30 days I'm out,

and if I'm out, you're all out! You're all out.

I'll see to that! Out! Out! DEXTER: What's the matter with him?

He acts like he's gone crazy. QUIGLEY: I think I can explain it. The school has got some

large financial problems. In fact, it may be going under. The Board of Regents has been giving

Dean Higgins a lot of pressure. GIRL: But what's he

going to do without you? The school will get

along fine without me, but thank you. I'll tell you what. Why don't you all go back and clear

away your things and... (POPPING) I guess we'll call it a day. (PHONE RINGING) (SIGHS) Yeah. Hello. MAN: Uh, hello. This Dexter Riley? (SIGHS) Uh, yeah, this is Dexter Riley. Well, this is Silas Willoughby, the man who rented Ruthybelle to you. Yeah, how are you, Ruthybelle?

How you doing? This isn't Ruthybelle.

Ruthybelle's a cow. Oh. Now, what I wanna know is

what you fellas did to her. Yeah, well, somebody

did something to her. She's already given us

80 gallons of milk and still goin' strong. What do you think of that? (BARKING) (BARKING CONTINUES) Come on, Brutus. (BARKING CONTINUES) (SIGHS) Go home, Blossom. - That big dog pickin' on Brutus again?

- Yeah. Schuyler, you're just gonna

have to teach that dog not to be chicken. Yeah, Brutus, you're cute, but one of these days

you're gonna have to stand up and fight. - Can I have some of your cereal?

- Sure. Help yourself. Thanks. Boy, that's sure gonna be tough. Tough? What do you mean? - Quigley having to leave the school.

- Oh, yeah. This place isn't gonna

be the same without him. Yeah, well, I wouldn't worry about it. I mean, after all, how many times

has Higgins fired Quigley? (POPPING) (POPPING CONTINUES) I mean, I can remember him being

fired at least five times. I've only been here six and a half years. (POPPING CONTINUES) I think. Or is it seven? Uh, Schuyler, I don't think I want

any more of your cereal. Well, that's okay. - Comin', Dexter?

- Yeah, I'll be right there. Come on, Schuyler.

You're gonna Miss psychology. No, I'm not. I'm not gonna miss it at all.

I'm gonna fix my car. Hey, your cereal.

You sure you're through with it? (SIGHS) Yeah, I'm through with it. Give it to Brutus. He'll eat anything. Oh, yeah. Hey, Brutus!

Come on, Brutus! Breakfast! Brutus! (BARKS) - Go to that test.

- Yeah, I know. Late again. What'd you do

with my blue socks yesterday? (BARKING) (BARKING CONTINUES) (ROARING) (ROARING CONTINUES) (BRUTUS BARKING) (BARKING CONTINUES) (ALL LAUGHING) That's great! - I think I got a rock in my shoe.

- I'll hold your books. (GRUNTS) - Dexter, how'd you do that?

- Dexter! Uh... (CHUCKLES) - I'll take it!

- My man! I'm gonna take it! (LAUGHING) Go, buddy! There you go! (CHATTERING CONTINUES) Slam-dunk it! Slam-dunk it, Dexter! Wow! Hey, Dexter, you're goin' the wrong way. Oh, no, I'm not! Come on! Really, Elmer,

I hate to have to keep haranguing you, but all of this eating in class,

it simply has to stop. I can't help it, Dean Higgins. I get hungry every once in a while. "Every once in a while"? Do you realize I have reports from your first, third, fourth

and your seventh classes? They are all complaining

about your eating. Really! All of this bag-rattling

and cracker-crunching while people are trying to study. (INTERCOM BUZZES) Yes, Mercedes. What is it? Professor Quigley's here

to pick up his severance check. Professor Quigley, hmm? Well, you inform Professor Quigley that we don't give out

severance checks anymore. But we always give out

severance checks. Well, we don't anymore.

We just ran out of money. Money, money, money, money. That's all some people

think about. Money. What do you want? Uh, where was I? You were talking about my bag-rattling

and cracker-crunching. Oh. yes. And that is not the half of it. I've got complaints here

from our janitorial service. They're reporting large cake

crumbs in rooms 306 and 308. Now, this is very

serious business, Elmer. Teachers I can get, students I can get, but janitors... Ohh. So, consider this a final warning, Elmer. I don't care what you do out of class, but in class no more jelly beans, no more cake,

no more cookies, no more... (FINGERS SNAP) Elmer? Elmer, am I getting through to you? Hey, Dean Higgins, guess what. "Guess what"? Guess nothing. How dare you burst into my office

when I'm reprimanding a student? Oh, I'm sorry.

We didn't mean to interrupt, but something happened to Dexter. "Something happened to Dexter." Something is always happening to him.

That's nothing new. Besides, that's no excuse to come... Quigley, what are you doing here? I'm afraid I don't know, sir. Listen, Dexter got strong.

I mean, really strong. (ALL MURMURING) Professor Quigley,

your ideas on that formula really worked. Are you talking about

the formula you used on the cow? Yeah. All right, you kids.

All right. Out, out, out, out! - (ALL CHATTERING)

- Hey, Dean Higgins. Look! (WHIMPERING) Good heavens. And that's just with his right hand.

Show him what you can do with your left. You see what I mean? (LAUGHING) Hey, let me down, will you? Yes, for heaven's sakes, let him

down before he breaks something. - All right!

- (ALL CHEERING) There you go! - How did all this happen with the...

- I don't know. I just ate some of Schuyler's cereal,

and all of a sudden I got strong. Let me see that cereal. This is the same cereal

I eat every morning. I never get strong. Well, of course not.

It's not the cereal that made him strong. It was, well,

Professor Quigley's and my formula. Just plain cereal

wouldn't do anything like that, no matter what those companies say. I know. - What's the matter, Dean?

- Hmm? Oh, uh, nothing. Nothing. Would you young people mind waiting

outside for a moment? You too, Elmer. There you go. Everybody out. I want to talk to Professor Quigley alone

for a moment. You mean he's still working here? - Well, of course he's still working here.

- (ALL CHEERING) You kids get the craziest ideas. Would you do something about that? Everybody out. Here we go. Bye-bye. (CHUCKLES)

Aren't they wonderful? Quigley, do you realize

what we have here? Well, it seems as though

we might have quite an amazing

scientific development. It is more than that, Quigley. Do you realize what

these cereal companies would give to have a strength formula

like this in their cereal? - No. Never really thought about it.

- Well, you think about it. You think about it! Why, we've got something here that will

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes