The Stuff Page #5

The Stuff. Taste that delivers.

Enough is never enough

Enough is never enough

of The Stuff.

( flies buzzing )

( ripping )

( screaming )

( muffled cries )

David... David!

Argh!

( muffled yells )

I'll get it off you. I'll burn it.

No, don't touch it.

Take your hands away.

I'm gonna burn it.

MOE:
It hardened on my face.

Leave us alone! Leave us alone!

Oh, God!

( cries out )

Help me!

MOE:
Look! That's meant for us!

NICOLE:
It's killing him!

- Help him, Moe.

- I'll burn the hell out of it.

( man yelling )

( choking and spluttering )

Don't touch me.

- Are you all right?

- Get in that truck. I'll hotwire it.

( screaming )

What if somebody reports the truck

stolen and we're arrested?

We just tell them

that fella tried to kill us.

- Where are we going?

- We're going back to the factory.

We're gonna take our own guided tour.

Ow!

( horn honks )

Where are they going at this hour?

Good time to travel when you don't

want to be seen. Let's find out.

( engine off )

Can't go much further with this damned

thing. It's making too much noise.

NICOLE:
What's that light up ahead?

( gurgling )

NICOLE:
What the hell are they doing?

MOE:
That stuff comes right out

of the center of the Earth.

And straight into our supermarkets.

Do you mean they don't process it

or manufacture it at all?

No, they siphon it right off

and into the trucks.

The only way I can prove that

is to steal one of those trucks.

You can't do that. This place is

wide open. They're going to see you.

- Not if I have this on.

- Oh, my God!

No wonder you saved that thing

instead of my pocket book.

( knuckles crack )

Ssh!

I'm sorry.

I want you to go back to the pickup.

The keys are under the floorboard.

Meet me at Route 5 near the parkway.

All right?

- You gonna be all right?

- I'll be fine. This is my business.

- You look kinda cute in this thing.

- Yeah?

I do love encouragement.

( The Stuff gurgling )

MAN ON PA:
It's coming down

in great masses tonight.

Be grateful for its plentiful supply

and for the good work we are doing.

Soon, the hunger in the world

will be a thing of the past.

The Earth is giving off the food

that will nourish all

and guide us all

to a new order of life.

( gurgling )

( pump whirring )

( pump vibrating )

Oh, no!

Oh, my God!

God! I'm gonna drown in The Stuff!

( slurping and gurgling )

Get me out of here!

Help!

Howdy.

Well, what are you waiting for?

Why don't you do something?

JASON:
Why don't you do something

to me?

JASON:
Let me out of here! Help!

( truck horn blows )

Jason?

MOE:
I'll get you out of there.

MAN:
Hey, what are you doing?

Agh!

Get out of that truck!

( bleeping )

( shouting )

( explosion )

You're inside my head.

You want me to do what you made

the rest of my family do. No!

( screams )

( screaming )

( screams )

No!

( screams )

Aarrgghhh!

( squelching )

Grab on! Grab my hands, Jason.

That's it. I got you now. Come on.

Moe, what took you so long?

NICOLE:
That Stuff won't stay buried

for long. They'll dig it out again.

( siren wails )

( hose end jangling )

Oh, boy! I never thought

I'd be glad to see cops!

They control the area, don't you

think they control the police, too?

The whole damn quarry was full

of police. They're all Stuffies.

( siren stops )

Hey! Your hose is hanging out

back there.

Are you gonna arrest me

for indecent exposure?

Get your hands up where I can

see 'em and come out of the truck.

Get over there. Put your hands up.

Go ahead.

Do I have to put my hands up, too?

Aren't you gonna shake me down?

Okay, miss. You come down

out of the truck, too.

We've sprung a leak. It's a shame

all that Stuff is going to waste.

- I gotta go get some. Let's get some!

- Officer! I'm so hungry.

You know how you get hungry if you go

without The Stuff for an hour or two.

I bet you're hungry too,

aren't you, officer? You're a hungry guy.

God! I'm so hungry!

Come on, officer.

( whispers ) Fake eating it.

Officer, it's so good!

- I'm sure you want some, don't you?

- This is great.

Mmm, mmm!

Nothing you like more...

- JASON:
There's a town up ahead!

- I'm gonna bypass it.

It's too small. They probably control it

and we'd never get out.

- Then where do we go, David?

- We go to a large city.

They can't control it.

We have a chance.

JASON:
A castle?

MOE:
I know the man who lives here.

I know everything about him,

only he doesn't know me.

Wait here.

( violent yelling )

I am reporting to Colonel Spears.

Who are you?

Well, I once worked for a man

named Hoover.

And he once ordered me to put

some taps on an apartment

that you rented for, uh...

a 17-year-old black chick.

And I wish I'd brought along

the tapes

because I could prove to you

I really am who I am.

- You're not with the Bureau any more?

- Oh, no! They canned me.

Just before they mailed those tapes

to your wife.

I could toss you off this tower.

You'd land right about there.

You're a trespasser.

Oh, Colonel, I only told you about

the tapes so I could get to see you.

'Cause I need you.

You know that the whole country

needs you?

You wouldnt be tryin' to deceive me

or entrap me?

Do...do you remember

you were worried

about the commies

putting fluoride in our water system?

Mm-hm.

You know, there's a thing goin' on

now that's a lot worse?

Americans are being poisoned faster

than you can imagine.

- Poisoned?

- Yeah.

The FBI are always worried about

commies getting deep-cover agents

and putting them into high positions

in American industry.

Then they'd acquire a corporation,

right?

And then they'd establish themselves

and they'd work on us

( whispering ) ...from within,

right inside it.

Inside, get us from the inside,

get it?

Sounds like one of my radio speeches

a year ago last Thanksgiving.

You were a deep prophet.

A product is being sold now

and is being consumed

by tens of millions of people,

and it contains

a mind-affecting drug.

And you and I both know

who they are.

- And they're doin' it?

- Oh, yeah.

Their headquarters

are less than 100 miles from here.

Sons-of-b*tches!

They're flaunting it at me!

I guess they forgot

about Colonel Spears, huh?

They didn't know you were around,

that you could bring them

to their knees!

Hmm!

Come with me. We're gonna have

a nice tall cool drink.

You in the army or something?

We are your only army, son.

So, this is the young lady

who's gonna go with us?

She's familiar with the plant.

You can ride up with me.

Well, that's gonna really be

an honor, Colonel.

I know, and after this mission,

you can reward me in a suitable fashion.

Oh, uh, Colonel.

I think you're movin' in on my lady.

I wouldnt worry about that, son.

You'll probably be a casualty.

You know that missing truck?

I see it coming down the road

right now.

No, I can't see who's at the wheel.

Hey!

I found this here truck

down by Highway 12, abandoned.

Kind of figured you might, uh...

give us some kind of cash reward

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