The Stuff Page #7

This is not fiction.

This is not a dramatization.

My fellow Americans.

This is Colonel Malcolm

Grommett Spears.

I have never misled you

and I will never mislead you.

Tonight, America is in grave danger.

We are under alien attack by

a substance which represents itself

as a popular dessert

known as The Stuff.

If The Stuff is in your house,

do not eat it.

Repeat, I mark you, do not eat it!

If you are a merchant and have it

on your shelves, do not sell it!

If you have a distributorship

and you distribute this material,

close your doors,

make no more sales.

If a member of your family

is dependent on this product,

get them to a hospital.

If you have this product in your home,

cook it. I repeat, cook it.

And the people did believe.

In the weeks that followed, The Stuff

was withdrawn from distribution.

The nation mobilized to collect it

and destroy it.

REPORTER:
Violent action has been

taken against the stores and franchises

that carried The Stuff.

Local authorities cautioned

the public to remain calm.

Upon reports

that the product was toxic,

public health officials visited

the quarry in Midland, Georgia,

only to find it buried

in a mass of rubble...

...more at 11.

Although the casualties were

in the thousands

American industry has worked

with full government support

to save millions of other lives

and to compensate the injured

for their tragic losses.

I am reading these words

off a teleprompter

because I...

I simply didn't know what to say.

The fact of the matter is that...

I'm selling you an apology.

I'm sorry.

She is a pretty thing, isn't she?

Well!

Well, are you here to throw my money

back in my face?

- Uh, no. I spent it.

- Hm.

You think by dynamiting one quarry

you could shut us down for ever?

You realize that stuff seeps up

through the Earth any place?

Well, I guess we'll just find

those places.

I'm afraid I'm not alone tonight,

Moe.

I suppose you've spent my money

as well, eh?

- You two are in business together!

- It was inevitable, wasn't it?

The Stuff is finished, of course,

but look here.

Look at the new campaign

for The Taste.

Only 12% of The Stuff in it. Just enough

to make the public crave for more.

And the balance is natural

dairy products.

There won't be enough of The Stuff

in it to get a grip on anybody's mind.

- How do you know?

- Well, we tested it.

We tested it

in a small Illinois town.

If you tested it, you can taste it.

Oh! You go too far.

I didn't come alone here, either.

I brought along a couple of friends.

Jason!

- This is no place for a kid, Moe.

- Oh, he ain't a kid any more.

The Stuff took away his parents

and took away his brother.

- You brought another friend?

- Yup.

Him.

Now, put that away. You wouldnt

use it in front of the boy.

Like he said,

I've been through a lot.

Well, you sit right down.

Go on, have yourself a seat.

We're gonna have a little dinner.

Jason?

- Serve the gentlemen.

- A pleasure.

You recognize that, don't you?

No. Wait...

Make a big old mountain of it

right in front of them.

- Here.

- Yes, pass it right on down.

- Dig in yourself.

- Look! I had nothing to do with it.

You see this hole here?

It's getting bigger and bigger,

isn't it?

So you'd better eat that

or you're gonna eat this.

- Eat it!

- How much of it?

You eat as much of it as I want you

to eat, until I tell you to stop.

Till it's comin' outta your eyeballs.

- Eat it.

- You, too, partner.

Eat it!

Mm. Mmm.

Are you eatin' it?

Or is it eatin' you?

( sirens approaching )

JASON:
Here they come.

Right on schedule.

I guess we did it, Moe.

Enough is never enough.

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