The Sucker

THE SUCKER:

Please give me a hand.

Wait.

Give me that.

Are you going to Carcassonne

again this summer?

No, I'm going on a holiday

to Italy.

The weather will be nicer there.

It's been terrible here.

Have a good trip, Monsieur Antoine.

I'll come back all tanned.

This is a disaster.

What's wrong?

What's wrong?

You can see what's wrong.

What am I going to do now?

By all means,

just walk all over it.

It's not serious.

What do you mean,

it's not serious?

What am I going to do now?

Just walk.

But I was going on

a holiday to Italy.

Go by plane. that's faster.

- But I'm not in a hurry.

Well, I am in a hurry.

Here's my business card.

My insurance agent will contact you.

You've got some guts!

With your big car.

Leopold Saroyan,

Director.

I don't care!

No to London, yes to New York

and Stockholm I don't know.

Yes.

Monsieur Marchal is here.

Send him in.

My poor friend.

I'm so sorry about what happened yesterday.

- So am I.

Have a seat.

I couldn't sleep all night

because of you.

Well, I'm sorry.

The shock.

What can I say.

If your holiday's ruined,

so is mine.

Tell me, do you still

plan to go to Italy?

I'm not sure if you know, but my

car had a small accident yesterday.

That's exactly why I

called you this morning.

I liked you from the start.

I had a little idea that

will solve everything.

What?

Cigar?

Havanna.

A little Scotch?

If you insist.

Press the green button.

And look there.

Look!

And that's not all.

Look. Click!

A bar.

Mr du Schmurtz from Miami

is visiting Europe in his Cadillac.

He's going to the Parthenon,

the Berlin wall, the Folies-Bergre etc.

The whole civilisation.

What's that?

- It's nothing.

What?

Here, it's yours.

- Thanks.

He receives a telegram...

No, listen to me.

He receives a telegram...

Ah, yes.

- Cheers!

He has to fly back to the USA.

Father ill, mother ill.

That's always sad.

So the Cadillac has been abandoned.

Poor thing.

It will arrive in Naples on Monday.

Naples!

Mr. du Schmurtz asked me to take it

from Naples to Bordeaux.

To put it on a boat to the USA.

From Naples to Bordeaux...

That's a nice trip.

And you are going to make that nice trip.

Me?

I'm here. Turn around.

Today's August 14.

The car has to be in Bordeaux

on August 27.

Yes.

Italy seen from a Cadillac

must be quite something.

Are you happy?

Can I have a bit more Scotch?

The bottle's over there.

Mr. Director.

This is your ticket.

Paris-Naples by Caravelle.

And 500.000 liras for

your travel expenses.

That's too much.

I'm not as greedy as a Cadillac!

I'm inviting you to breakfast

with a couple of friends.

I've done quite well

in my line of work.

I make baby clothes.

I'm all about baby clothes.

Can I ask them something?

Can you recommend books

that could introduce Italy to him?

"Walks in Rome" by Stendhal,

a great guide.

I already bought the Michelin Guide.

Although I think...

We have to leave now.

Caravelles are good at many things...

...but not at waiting.

I'm very honoured.

The door's over there.

Not that one.

This one.

And...

- Yes.

Michelin and baby clothes.

What an idiot.

Leave that alone.

That will do.

Thank you.

And, what do you think of him?

Are we supposed to congratulate you?

How dare you trust him with our money?

It took us half a year to prepare this...

...and at the very end you

decide this all on your own!

I beg your pardon?

And why do you do it all in one hit?

And the jewellery of the Baalbeck heist!

You're taking a big risk with our money.

I'm very worried...

...for you.

-What will the Americans say?

I'm taking the responsibility.

Listen to me.

We need an idiot for this job.

One who doesn't suspect anything.

- It's still a big risk.

All my money's in that car.

I can't afford to lose it.

Nor can you!

The deal of our lives depends on that imbecile.

Anything can happen in 1800 kilometres.

But he's honest!

You can see it in his face.

And that's the best passport there is.

For a customs officer, the person's

the suspect, not the car.

Single, travelling sales man,

no criminal record.

Yes, I'm putting the French group at risk.

That's why I took a decision:

I will personally follow the Cadillac all the way.

Let's recap.

Here.

Give me a pencil.

This is the Cadillac.

With the bumpers...

That's simplified.

That's it!

Heroin.

Where is it?

In the rear mudguards.

And the gold?

In the front and back bumpers.

Covered with chrome, of course.

The diamonds, emeralds and

rubies in the battery.

Custom made double bakelite front.

And this brilliant plan,

gentlemen, is signed by:

Sa - ro - yan!

Will the You-Koun-Koun

also be in the battery?

No, sir.

The biggest diamond in the

world will be... there!

Before a big battle, Caesar said:

"I'd burn my coat,

if it knew of my plan."

Let's follow Caesar's example.

Be careful that you don't

end the same way he did.

"No, the biggest diamond in the

world will be there!"

Hello.

Have you got the t-t-t-tape?

Even better.

Here's the sound...

...and here's the picture.

Well, unfold it.

A drawing.

Signed Sa...Sa...

Saroyan.

Fantastic, Mario!

When will I get my 10%?

When we've got the Cadillac.

Until then nothing's certain.

Have you seen the fool who'll drive it?

Does he know?

- Not a thing.

Poor guy.

I hope we won't have to k-k-k...

Kick him?

No, kill him.

When you go hunting, you

shoot pheasants as well as pigeons.

Pronto, pronto?

It's working!

Yes? Pronto?

Operator speaking. What's the number?

Mercadet 1819.

No, of your car.

- Ah, one second.

Florida 8-22139

Ok, you've been registered.

Alright.

So if I get a call,

you'll let me know?

Yes, we will.

Very good.

Permesso...

Me... "avanti!"

What a car.

It's almost impossible to drive.

What's with that horn?

What's he doing?

Thanks.

Customs inspection.

Do you have anything to declare?

No, my suitcases are in the hotel.

Can I see your papers?

These?

- Yes.

That's alright.

Thank you.

Duck!

Keep some distance. Too close and he'll see us.

Too far and we won't see him anymore.

How am I going to find it?

What a crowd.

Monsieur...?

Monsieur...

Signor...

Hello. Quite a car.

Do you speak French?

No. Napoletano.

How unpractical.

Look here.

Bumper. Dented at the backi

and damaged at the fronti.

You repair quicko.

Because me in Napoli

since two days, so...

I can't do it.

It's not my automobilo.

It's difficult.

It's completely destroyed.

It's a lot of work.

I can't do it in two days.

Not possible?

Maybe 20.000 liras can make a differenzio?

The car will be ready

tomorrow morninga at 9.

No, no, tomorrow morningi.

No, tomorrow morningo.

Anyway, you know what I mean.

It's gold, signor Tagliella.

Gold? Gold! Thank you!

Thank you, Madonna.

Let's have a look at this bumper...

There he is.

A cab? Where's the car?

He must have left it in the garage.

Wonderful!

You'd think it was brand new.

No, no, it's not new.

No, of course not.

Here's 20.000 liras.

No, that's too much. 5.000 is enough.

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