The Suicide Shop Page #3

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Suffocated by your own tongue

- It makes me feel like

ending my life

Sometimes I wonder

As I really got the blues

But we cannot

Neither you nor me

Because we would

have to close shop for good.

Whatever happens

We must remain alive

To insure

Happiness to our suicides

- Well, I'll take that.

You won't regret it.

Silly me, I meant

Let me know how that went.

Hahaha, what a dummy I am!

- It's not too noisy,

at least?

- Are you sure this will work?

Sure.

- Still, it's risky.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

It's time to move faster.

Otherwise, we will all end up orphans.

We will meet here.

Your father will kill you.

- Do not worry.

- In any case, it will be great.

- Attention...

- What are you doing?

Playing marbles Dad.

And that makes you laugh?

- Well yes,

it's funny.

I don't see what's funny.

- Go home.

Yes, Dad.

Bye Alan...

He laughed.

- You didn't forget Marilyn's birthday?

- I even bought gifts.

- Stop laughing all the time,

you are irritating me.

- Okay.

- You look stupid.

Yes, Dad.

- You want a cigarette?

- A what?

A cigarette.

- Really?

Can I smoke? At my age?

Of course.

Why not?

You'll see.

This is good for health.

Must inhale, keep it

inside as long as possible.

You like it?

Yes, it's not bad.

Thank you, Dad.

- You see, why not?

- I want to kill myself

but I don't know

if I can afford it.

Wait, the cheapest?

I have what you need.

A bag of our store. Very strong.

Ideal for choking.

And then here, to close it

tight around your throat.

Thank you.

- How much?

- Nothing.

When we can help...

- lf I had met more people

disinterested as you

I would not be here.

- That's it, that's it

Sorry, we are closing.

- You want another cigarette?

Yes, I do.

- Here, keep the pack.

If you want, I will give you

a cartridge.

Thanks, Dad.

Stay here.

Finish your cigarette quietly.

Light up another if you wish.

And do not forget,

inhale all the smoke.

Yes, Dad.

Good evening, my dear.

Good evening my love.

Alan is not with you?

Yes, yes. He is there.

- But he smokes!

What...

- I'll explain.

- Mom, Alan is smoking...

- We will explain.

- Are you okay Alan?

- Good day?

And school?

Yes, yes. All is well.

There is joy...

Hello, hello...

And there it is...

Oh, it's me.

Mom, it's so beautiful.

Vincent drew it.

Yes, it's me.

- I wish I could die.

- Tell yourself that you have 1 year

less to live.

And now,

the gifts...

This is too cute.

Thank you.

And this is so cute.

- You Alan, what's your gift?

- A scarf

to strangle me...

- But no.

It is worn loose,

vaporous.

Like a caress around your neck.

And that?

- This is to dance with it.

I'll show you.

- Where did you get this?

- I bought it with my pocket money.

- But you're crazy.

You shouldn't have.

Yes, for you, nothing is too beautiful.

Therrre iiiis joyyyy...

- How is it going?

- Hi. You have the music?

- OK. That is good.

Your uncle?

- I am sure he will agree.

- Perfect.

And our reward?

- Patience.

- You want some?

- NO...

- You should. It is good for health.

- Who's is the idiot who told you that?

- My father.

What's wrong with him? Tobacco gives

cancer. You want to die young?

- Well... No.

Then throw it away. It's sh*t.

Don't move. It will start.

- Come on.

- She is beautiful, eh,

my sister?

- But... But...

But...

Mishima?

What are you doing?

What's going on?

- There is that...

- But... Oh...

There... I am here..

All is well.

- Hello Sir.

- Hello children. What brings you here?

- Uncle Dom, we need a favor from you.

- If I can. What kind of favor?

- Well, a big one.

- Very big.

- I am listening to you.

Oh, doctor,

Life is too sad.

Store... with...

We need to kill people...

Suicide rope hara-kiri

and tutti quanti.

- If you only knew

I've had enough of this sh*t.

- What sh*t?

The life.

Seppuku-bottle gas

pellets, poison pills.

Good morning, sir, ma'am...

- Stop laughing, you irritate me.

- That's it.

Ah, I understand your confusion,

but if life was funny

We would know it.

Eins, zwei,

three, four...

If life was funny

Well it would be known.

It's like a slice of sh*t

Buttered on both sides

Overwork

Breaking down

Swamp

I relieve the ravages

Sinking

Overwork

Slavery

I relieve the sinking

You frequent suicide

Therein lies the problem

Helping people

To end their lives

Gets on your nerves.

These short-time customers

Make your life bitter

And you are harassed

Overwork, break up,

swamp

I relieve the ravages

Sinking

Your husband is overworked

He is schizophrenic

He should be bedridden

For at least two weeks

- Two weeks in bed?

What do we do with the store?

- This I do not know,

dear ma'am. It's 250 euros.

- This is a cement cinderblock

provided with a chain

which gets locked

to your ankle.

Go to the edge of a river,

throw it in front of you

You are pulled to the bottom.

And hop! No more worries.

- It doesn't seem bad..

- My husband makes them himself.

well, he made them, poor man.

The name of the shop

is embossed on one side.

- Put your hand.

Yes, I feel it well.

Alright, I'll take that.

- Are you going far?

- Yes... No...

- My son will help you.

Alan? The hand truck.

- You really think...

Ta, ta, ta.

It's the least we can do.

It's as heavy as a dead donkey

that thing.

But... Oh!

My God...

But...

- Well...

- It's high, huh?

Good day, sir.

It is today,

As I tell you,

We win or lose.

It's super!

This afternoon, nothing forbidden.

They will be on their ass.

- Like hell!

- We're going to cut the sausage

We are going to spin the banana

We garden gnomes

We have ideas in the skull

All with me

The big day has come

They will fall

on their ass

Today

I tell you

We win or lose.

This is super!

This afternoon

nothing is forbidden.

They will be

On the ass.

Like hell!

No lack of enthusiasm.

People are dummies.

We condemn them.

Bump off the humdrum.

We are the smartest.

We are Supermen.

All with me

The day has come

Listen to this.

They will be on their ass.

It's too tempting.

Nothing to lose.

It's fun to make a mess.

It's tempting.

It's fun to make a mess.

Too bad,

If it will cost you. The good mood

is on its way.

- Hey...

- So?

- It's up to you.

- Wow...

- So you like it?

- Marilyn, tell me...

where did you get these bubbles?

- Alan gave them to me.

Oh, but...

Sh*t...

- But what is it?

- Uh, nothing.

- I felt like a slap.

You were dreaming.

Go back to sleep.

- This thing is heavy.

- Come on...

But shut up.

Hide yourself.

- What's this racket?

But what...

- But what's

this thing?

Mom!

What's going on?

- It is Alan.

Vincent, help me!

- In here...

- Attention, behind you...

Attention, Alan!

Give me that!

- Come on guys!

- I got it.

Oh no...

- Come here, you!

Oh no!

Go back home ladies and gentlemen,

We have nothing left to sell.

- Goodbye, ma'am.

- Goodbye.

- It's okay Ms. Tuvache,

we will suicide another time.

- By the way, what do you need?

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