The Super

"[Rock And Roll Doo-wop]

"[Continues]

[Man] when I was a kid,

Sundays were always the best.

My father would

make a big breakfast.

Scrambled eggs, waffles,

bacon...

and he always made

the best bacon too.

Then we would get

into our Cadillac.

Boy, did he keep that car

waxed until it gleamed.

Then we'd go off

on a new adventure.

You never knew what was gonna happen next

with my father.

You only knew

it was gonna be fun.

Willie, you son of a b*tch!

My father was a big track star

when he was in school.

- You should a seen him run.

- I see you, Willie!

- Your ass is grass! Come on, Louie!

- Get him, Daddy!

- Don't fall behind!

- He owned most of the buildings in the neighborhood.

And I'll tell you,

people really looked up to him.

Deadbeat son of a b*tch.

where's the rent?

- I'm a little short right now. How 'bout another week?

- Another week?

Another week? what do you say, Louie?

Should we give him another week?

- Uh, okay.

- Okay? Really? You sure? Remember...

that three dollars I give you every week

really isn't an allowance.

It's more like a percentage.

You let this guy skate,

that means you only get 2.70, okay?

Remember. The other tenants

are gonna want another week.

You know what that means? Pretty soon

you'll be down to nothing. Zero. Zip!

No ice cream. No soda.

No candy. You wanna steal

candy out of my kid's mouth?

- No, man, no.

- Then give me what you got.

Friday, Willie.

I want the rest Friday.

[Softly]

Yeah. Don't hold your breath.

One down, 63 to go.

There you are, Louie.

- You're a buck short, Dad.

- No, it's all there.

- Take another look. You might have made a mistake.

- Dad!

- January's a very tough month.

- So is December. Gimme my money.

That's my boy.

[Man] Yeah, Sundays

were always the best.

"[Man And woman Singing

Happy Birthday "to Dear Louie"]

- Surprise!

- Surprise!

[Father]

It's all yours. Your first building.

You're a landlord now,

like your old man.

It's just a start, but someday,

all my buildings will be yours!

- Thanks, Big Lou.

- [Gasps, Mutters]

[Tires Screeching]

[Alarm Chirping]

Okay, a**holes.

Here comes Kritski.

[People Chattering]

In and out all day.

In! Out! In! Out!

In! Out! See, that's

how the door broke.

You're supposed to go in

and stay in!

She goes out to buy milk, she buys one milk.

She goes out to get eggs, she gets two eggs.

You get 'em by the dozen, pal! A dozen!

You ever hear of a dozen? A dozen?

No entiendo. Es no bueno.

No good. I-It's broken.

But it worked before you broke it!

It ain't my problem!

- It worked... It worked before you broke it. "

- [Beeping]

- Listen.

- [Mechanical Voice Speaking Spanish]

[Both Shouting In Spanish]

[Continue Shouting]

You want your electricity fixed, move!

Check into the f***in' Plaza!

Just gimme my rent, lady!

Look at my boy. How's he supposed to do

his schoolwork at night?

- By candlelight?

- Lincoln did.

If he's got anything on the ball,

maybe he'll grow up to be president.

- what the f*** do I know? Just gimme the rent.

- Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm.

Mm. Mm. Mm.

Gimme the rent.

Do you know what kind

of droppings those are?

- Moose droppings.

- Rat droppings, Kritski.

You really know your sh*t, don't ya?

[Laughing]

what's the matter?

You got no sense of humor?

- So what are you gonna do about it?

- Nothin'.

They pay the rent,

they can stay!

- Neighbor!

- Neighbor?

You're late

with your rent, Marlon.

I know, I know. Mommy's dying again,

you had to send her money?

How many times is it this year

mamacita has almost croaked?

- Six.

- [Imitating Marlon] Seex. "

- You know, I'm so glad she's still with us.

- Listen.

why don't you insure the woman?

This way, when she decides...

to join that big pinata

party in the sky...

you can use the insurance money

to pay your rent!

- [Snapping Fingers]

- Know what I mean? what is it with you Latins?

Don't you have any pride?

I got pride.

I'm proud I live in a building.

- I'm proud I don't live inside of a cardboard box.

- " [Hearts And Flowers"]

I have an address I can afford.

I'm proud of that.

Just gimme the rent.

In my hand. Friday. Cash.

- Que pasa, Brother Gilliam?

- Oh, Jesus.

Couldn't be better. I woke up this morning

and found myself still among the living.

- Hallelujah.

- I'll see your hallelujah "and I'll raise you an amen. "

- Oh, yeah!

- " [Singing Gospel]

I prayed for you

last night, Mr. Kritski.

- I prayed for you to get my commode fixed.

- " [Stops]

Get out of my way

and leave me alone!

- You don't want me to leave you alone.

- Trust me, I do.

No, Satan wants me

to leave you alone.

we both want you

to leave me alone.

[Laughs]

Hallelujah!

Ha!

[Man] Kritski! You goddamn,

money-grubbin; honky slumlord!

- Finally, somebody who understands me.

- You must be Louis Kritski.

- who wants to know?

- I'm Naomi Bensinger.

Oh, yeah? You like this car, Naomi?

This is my car.

I'm counsel

for the Housing Authority.

Get off the car.

Off the car! Beat it!

Can't have a relationship with a woman

who uses words like counsel " and authority. "

Even if you are a good-lookin' broad,

you know what I'm sayin'?

Mr. Kritski, I have in here copies

of dozens of violations on this building...

that you have willfully ignored

in an unconscionable fashion.

- I never said I was Kritski.

- You didn't have to. They did.

You gonna listen to them? Huh?

They think we all look alike.

If you were standin' here alone,

they would think you were Kritski.

Look, look, look.

wait a minute. wait a minute.

why don't we, uh, talk about this

over lunch, huh, baby?

Mr. Kritski, I don't want to eat with you.

I want to prosecute you.

See you in court.

Bad choice for a first date.

I'd like to eat

with those chopsticks.

[Engine Roaring]

[Tires Screeching]

[Shouting Angrily]

- Help yourself to beans, Heather.

- Oh, no.

- I never eat anything green.

- All right.

Heather, are you gonna

chew gum while you're eating?

I forgot I had it in.

- [Big Lou Coughs]

- I can't believe I have to go to court.

I mean, I know you told me

not to sweat this Housing Authority, but...

they keep sending violations

that were piling up...

electrical, plumbing, heating...

Louie, you know how many violations

get filed every year in New York City?

- Two million.

- You know how many convictions they get?

- Nada. Zip. Zero.

- Nada. Zip. Zero.

why? Because they got a bunch

of morons in City Hall.

well, you didn't see this new lawyer they sent.

This girl's really worked up.

- I don't want to hear about lawyers.

- But she's different!

You know what I say about lawyers?

They bust your nuts wherever you are. "

- I know.

- I don't even know how many times they hauled me into court.

Forcing me to make repairs.

Louie...

what are three things you look for

when you're lookin' for a piece of property?

- Death, divorce and destitution.

- what do you do when you got a piece of property?

- Nothing.

- That's it! Beautiful.

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