The Super Mario Bros. Movie Page #2

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[A large dog, Francis, sits in the upstairs hallway.]

HOMEOWNER WOMAN:
That's Francis. (gasps) He likes you!

[Francis licks the woman's face. Luigi walks by and steps on something.]

LUIGI:
(gasp)

[Luigi lifts his foot off a broken chew bone. Francis stares at him.]

LUIGI:
(nervous chuckle) Hey…

[Luigi continues walking to the bathroom. Francis glares at him while licking the woman's face.]

FRANCIS:
(growls)

HOMEOWNER WOMAN:
(baby talk) Mama, mama, mama love ya, baby!

MARIO:
(chuckles)

[Mario pulls Luigi into the bathroom. They begin to examine the dripping sink, Luigi getting sprayed by water in the process.]

MARIO:
Wrench?

[Mario uses two wrenches to tighten the pipes, stopping the leak, double-checking the integrity with a light tap.]

MARIO:
Mm-hmm. And our first job complete.

[Mario and Luigi do a clapping ritual.]

MARIO & LUIGI: Ay!

[As they begin to leave, they see a vengeful Francis sitting in the bathroom doorway.]

MARIO & LUIGI: (shriek)

LUIGI:
Francis is here.

[Francis spits the broken bone at them, enters and kicks the door shut behind him.]

FRANCIS:
(growls)

LUIGI:
Hey there, pal. (chuckles nervously)

[Francis lunges at them and hits the sink. Mario falls into the shower while Francis turns toward Luigi.]

LUIGI:
(screams) Mario, Do something!

[Mario throws a shampoo bottle at Francis, who turns and bites at him. Mario dodges and backflips over Francis.]

MARIO:
(slow motion) Mamma mia!

[Mario closes the shower door, trapping Francis inside.]

MARIO:
(relieved sigh)

LUIGI:
Uh, Mario?

[The pipes in the sink, as well as those throughout the bathroom, begin to burst. The water jets out from various points that Mario and Luigi attempt to plug up. "L'Amour Est Un Oiseaux Rebelle (Habanera)" begins to play. However, when Luigi blocks the last leak, the excess water rushes into the shower, popping off the shower head and flooding the shower with water, which Francis uses in his favor as he floats to the top.]

LUIGI:
(shrieks) That hellhound is gonna escape!

MARIO:
No, he won't.

[Mario wrenches a valve connected to the toilet and flushes it, causing the flooding water to drain.]

MARIO:
(relieved sigh)

LUIGI:
Hey, uh... Mario?

[Francis has reached the top of the shower and prepares to jump.]

MARIO:
Uh... Who's a good puppy? (nervous laugh) Who's a good boy?

[Francis leaps toward Mario and Luigi.]

FRANCIS:
(snarling)

MARIO & LUIGI: (scream)

[Mario and Luigi duck as Francis sails over them and out the window. "L'Amour Est Un Oiseaux Rebelle (Habanera)" stops playing. The homeowner couple sit in their living room as outside their window, as Mario and Luigi catch Francis with a plunger.]

HOMEOWNER WOMAN & HOMEOWNER MAN: Hm? Hm.

["L'Amour Est Un Oiseaux Rebelle (Habanera)" finishes its outro as Mario and Luigi manage to pull Francis back into the bathroom. The homeowner couple enter.]

HOMEOWNER WOMAN & HOMEOWNER MAN: (gasp)

[Luigi attempts to put the sink back in place while Mario pulls Francis out of the toilet.]

MARIO:
Found the problem!

FRANCIS:
(barks weakly)

[Arriving home, Mario and Luigi hang up their hats as their family talks in the dining room.]

UNCLE ARTHUR:
Ma, did you make these?

MARIO & LUIGI'S MOTHER: Ah, good batch, eh?

UNCLE ARTHUR:
Why don’t you make it like this?

[Mario and Luigi enter their family's dining room.]

MARIO & LUIGI'S FAMILY: Hey-yo!

MARIO & LUIGI: Hey-yo!

UNCLE TONY:
Oh-ho, it's the Super Mario Brothers, from the TV.

[Uncle Tony, Uncle Arthur, and Grandpa laugh.]

UNCLE ARTHUR:
They give an Oscar for worst actors?

AUNT MARIE:
Hey! (smacks him in the head)

UNCLE ARTHUR:
What'd I do?

MARIO:
(chuckles) So, uh... So everybody saw the commercial, then?

UNCLE TONY:
Uh-huh. We seen it. (winks to Uncle Arthur.)

MARIO:
And?

UNCLE ARTHUR:
I wouldn't quit your day job.

UNCLE TONY:
Oops! He already did.

[Uncle Tony, Uncle Arthur and Mario and Luigi's grandfather laugh again.]

MARIO & LUIGI'S MOTHER: Well, I thought it was incredible. It belongs in a movie theater.

[Mario and Luigi's dad puts spaghetti with mushrooms onto Mario's plate.]

MARIO:
Ugh, mushrooms?

MARIO & LUIGI'S FATHER: Everybody loves mushrooms, right?

LUIGI:
I like mushrooms, I'll take it.

MARIO & LUIGI'S FATHER: (laughs) Yeah.

UNCLE TONY:
Mario, seriously. What were your thinkin' with that commercial?

[Mario begins placing his mushrooms onto Luigi's plate.]

MARIO:
(as he places mushrooms on Luigi's plate) What? It's supposed to be funny.

LUIGI:
Can someone pass the bread?

UNCLE TONY:
Yeah, but... What's with the outfits? Plumbers wearin' white gloves?

MARIO:
That's right. You got to have a trademark. Gotta stand out.

MARIO & LUIGI'S MOTHER: Don't listen to them. The world laughed at Da Vinci, too.

LUIGI:
Mm, I'm not sure they did, Ma.

MARIO:
Dad... What did you think?

MARIO & LUIGI'S FATHER: I think you're nuts. You don't leave a steady job for some crazy dream. And the worst part? You're bringing your brother down with you.

MARIO:
(grimly) Well, thanks, Dad. (leaves the table) Thanks for your 'support'.

(Mario stands up and quietly leaves the dining room. The family looks at Mario and Luigi's dad with disapproval.)

MARIO & LUIGI'S FATHER: What'd I say?

[Mario sits in his room playing Kid Icarus. After losing, he turns on the news.]

NEWS REPORTER:
Thanks for tuning in to News Channel 4...

[Luigi enters, bringing Mario a plate of spaghetti.]

LUIGI:
Hey. (sits besides him) Nah, you're not bringing me down. You know what? What do they know, huh?

MARIO:
It's not just them. Our whole lives, everyone's telling us, 'We can't do this', 'We can't do that'. I'm just sick and tired of feelin' so small...

[The news catches Mario's attention.]

NEWS REPORTER:
A water main burst underground today, stopping subway service and flooding Downtown Brooklyn.

[Mario turns up the volume as the news report shows the water main spilling water onto the street. The mayor, Pauline, speaks with reporters.]

PAULINE:
Everything is under control, I promise you. We are very close to fixing this.

[A citizen runs in, shakes Pauline and grabs a reporter's microphone as a manhole cover shoots high into the air.]

CITIZEN:
Out of the way!

OTHER CITIZEN:
Go back!

CITIZEN:
Somebody help! Somebody save Brooklyn!

MARIO:
"Save Brooklyn"? Luigi, this is our chance! Destiny is calling!

LUIGI:
Destiny Del Vecchio from high school?

MARIO:
What? No! Just come on!

[Mario pulls Luigi out of the room after he puts down the plate of spaghetti.]

LUIGI:
(cries out)

[Downtown, construction workers investigate the flooding as Mario and Luigi arrive.]

CONSTRUCTION WORKERS: (yelling)

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