The Swan Princess: Royally Undercover Page #2

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the gold they've given

to rebuild the dam.

I cannot wait.

You might be wondering

what's on this ship.

Chairs, 122.

Shoes, 300 pairs.

Corn and, uh, rice, 500, uh, bushels.

Beans, all types, 500 barrels.

One hundred shovels.

One hundred axes.

Ow! Oh, we mustn't bore Antonio

with details, Rogers.

(ALISE) Papa.

Ugh.

Oh!

[YELLS]

No gloves, Uberta?

Let's get you inside before you

get even more liver spots.

I don't have liver spots, Rogers.

She does. Ah!

[YELLING]

Oh, my. You pulled me up as if...

As if I were weightless.

Only because it is nearly so,

dear queen.

[GASPS]

[GRUNTS THEN YELLS]

So Derek tells me

you lost your dear wife.

It is true, years ago.

I am so delighted...

I mean excited...

Oh, no. I'm sad.

Oh, I'm very, very sad.

It is lonely. In fact,

since I arrived here, for some reason,

I no longer wish to be alone.

All of this, donated by your people?

(UBERTA) It's enough to rebuild

the dam and the village.

Such generosity.

I beg pardon, Your Highness,

but Miss Margaret says

she's come to make a donation.

Bless your heart, Miss Margaret.

Surely, this woman

needs her money

more than those we are helping?

I could never deny anyone

the privilege of giving.

Within that barrel chest

and those massive arms

beats a tender heart.

Rogers, you wanted to see us?

Quickly.

Are you okay?

Count Antonio is the devil.

The "devil" devil?

No. The Tooth Fairy devil.

Yes, the "devil" devil.

Look what I found in the stable

next to his carriage.

Hmm? The devil does use

a pitchfork, does he not?

Yes, but so do the stable workers.

Well, what about his hat?

He never removes it.

What could he be hiding?

Horns, maybe?

You know who else

wears a hat all the time?

That sweet, little Miss Margaret.

I never trusted that woman.

Ha, ha. Rogers.

And isn't it obvious

he only wears pants to hide his tail?

[LAUGHING]

He's come to hurt us.

To take away what...

What we love.

To take away Uberta.

Now I'm losing her.

I'm sorry, Lord Rogers.

No, no, it's silly.

Of course, I should be happy for

her. He's a man of distinction.

A Renaissance guy,

a washboard-bellied raconteur.

And I'm just a jealous old toad.

- Good night.

- (ODETTE) Good night, sweetheart.

Good night...

I'm speechless. Me? Oh.

Your wife? Oh. Oh, Antonio,

I don't know, I mean...

Oh, who am I kidding? Yes.

A big, fat yes.

[GIGGLES]

Queen Uberta has fallen

in love with you.

(ANTONIO) She can't possibly

think I would marry her.

You know me, I'm a flirt.

[GASPS]

(BRUNO) Alise.

Do you think she heard us?

I knew it. I knew Antonio

was a rapscallion.

Didn't I say it? Ah!

Princess?

I don't understand

how love works, Lord Rogers.

But if Antonio doesn't love her,

why does he compliment her all the time?

And hold her hand.

Indeed.

We must figure out what he's doing

before he breaks her precious heart.

Keep an eye on him around the clock.

You mean, we'll be like spies?

Not like spies. Spies.

And not just you and me.

We need a team.

So how's the young tulip farmer?

Um, great.

- Lucas, we wanna know if...

- (ROGERS) Ahem, ahem.

Mm-mm. I suppose it may be a little

boring for a boy who's lived

on an island

full of wild beasts.

[CHUCKLES]

It's fine.

Yes, here, every hour

of your day is planned out.

Same thing day after simple, safe day.

Oh. You wanna be a spy?

Yes.

Okay.

Could we borrow Lucas for a few days?

Yes. Anything you wish, princess.

We're gonna be so cool.

Now look, General Puffin. We all

understand that you're retired.

I'm all in.

And that your spying days are over.

- Read my beak. I'm in.

- Just hear me out, please.

- He's in.

- He's in.

Oh...

Oh, usually when you go to

the retired guy, he's reluctant.

- Nope.

- Okay.

What's my cut?

Your cut?

I want 20 percent of the take.

There's no take.

In that case,

I want 50 percent.

We're doing this for queen

and country. That's it.

Okay. I'll take the country

and you can have the queen.

That's my last offer.

Jean-Bob.

Get off that lily pad

and get in line before I serve

your legs for dinner.

When do we start?

[YELLS]

There might be a time

when we need something

that looks like a rock.

Okay.

He can't even keep up in slow-motion.

It's time I shared my secret.

We've reached the entrance.

Hang on.

[WHOOPING AND LAUGHING]

(ALISE) I hope there's a mattress

at the bottom of this.

(ROGERS) A mattress? Ha!

See? I told you the castle was fun.

Let's do that again.

We've got bigger snakes to sizzle.

- Whoa.

- (ROGERS) For years,

I have secretly toiled. Sleeping

just 1.3 hours each night,

inventing these tools.

Cool.

Just in case we need to spy on an enemy.

(BOTH) Wow.

(LUCAS) Cool bow ties.

[CHUCKLES]

This may look like a bow tie,

but this little feature

makes it a blow-tie.

[METAL SCRAPING]

(ROGERS) Ha, ha!

Meet show-tie, grow-tie,

mo-tie, whoa-tie, and dough-tie.

Dough-tie?

Just in case you need a snack.

Hmm.

Chocolate chip.

This one's for a young spy

who needs to disappear quickly.

[COUGHING]

And that is just one of its features.

This is so me.

I'm gonna be the best spy ever.

Well, you might just have

some competition there.

Not to brag, princess,

but my survival instincts

are pretty good.

They didn't help you push

that blow-tie button, did they?

I was just...

Now, remember, we're a team.

Now, everything you need

is in these packs.

Our plan is simple.

Alise, you'll tell your parents

you can't wait

to take all the donated toys

to Trumbeau.

So, then, you'll simply ask if you can.

Of course, they'll say yes.

But on the way to Trumbeau

you'll swing by Antonio's kingdom.

There, you'll figure out

who Antonio really is

and what he's really up to.

Meanwhile, I'll stay here

and make sure he doesn't steal Uberta.

I mean, steal all our secret stuff.

Send me word

and we'll expose Antonio as a fraud.

Do you understand your mission?

Well I, whoosh, to Antonio's kingdom

and, boop, boop, boop,

gather intelligence.

Yes. But "boop" secretly.

Well, I never "boop" any other way.

Good. Better, "Boop, whoosh!"

Boop!

Take the toys

to the children right away.

I like it. Rogers?

Oh, I suppose it would work.

But who would take you, sweetheart?

Papa and I can't leave now.

Oh, she's right.

There's so much to do.

(ANTONIO) I think it's a perfect idea.

And if transportation is the

problem, Bruno will take them.

On second thought, maybe it's not...

I insist.

No, it's too generous.

Way too generous.

It's like, generous is here

and your offer is way up here.

Please. To deny me the

satisfaction of doing my part

is to deny the horse

his urge to run free.

Ha, ha. Every word is like

flipping poetry.

Oh! Oh.

Did I say that out loud?

I'm sure the children would love

for Signor Bruno to take them.

Are you sure you can spare him?

Absolutely.

He'll be with them

every minute of every day.

Then it's settled.

Hooray.

[BARKING]

Kookoo, Cocoa.

Here comes a pro spy move.

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