The Swap Page #3

Tomorrow A.M.?

Yes! But, uh...

Heeeeeeyyyy, pooooorrrrty...

-I'm gonna be sick.

-I'd looovvve

to go out for a fried pastry.

You know,

if you do me a solid

and don't show Jack's

dad that video thingy.

S'pose it can wait

one more day.

Alright then.

10am manana.

"Porty". That's awesome.

Ugh! I need a disinfecting bath.

I am not going out with "porty",

and neither is my body!

Hey, if I have to be a girl,

I'll at least use it to make

things better for the guy-me.

-Alright, but

we gotta split up.

-Hey, jackalope!

Let's go. But call me.

Man, I don't know how

you're gonna make it

through tryouts today.

You can't blow this!

My whole future

depends on hockey!

Yeah, well, rhythmic

is everything to me,

and my dad is driving out

for my meet on Sunday!

So, ditto, like, times 100!

I think I can handle

flipping some ribbons

and doing somersaults.

Seriously? That's what

you think we do? Ow!

The rhinestones

on this thing are

cutting up my face.

Which could use some serious

exfoliation, by the way.

I told you,

you gotta keep sparkly

and I gotta keep this...

Relic until everything's

settled!

If my dad called and i

answered with this chick

voice, we'd be toast!

Ok, my brothers gunner and

stryker are picking me up.

Gunner, stryker and Jack?

They run out of cool names

at the cool name store?

Coach picked their names,

my mom picked my...

Just look for

a blue truck, ok?

Alright, and you look for a yoga

type lady in a red bubble car.

Ok. I'll call you after

practice when I get

the totem book.

-Good luck.

-Good luck.

Ellie! What are you doing?

That is so dangerous!

Yes, sir! Sorry, sir!

I mean, lady. Ma'am.

Mom.

Hey, Jacko! Come on! What

are you waiting for,

an invitation?

OMG. This is a thing?

'Sup, champ? First day

on the new legs?

You know I can't resist that

little puppy face of yours.

All is forgiven.

This is so weird.

So! How was your day?

Uh... totally unreal.

Awesome! So, who d'you sit with

at lunch? What'd you talk about?

Claire's mom told me all about

the party tomorrow night.

Is everybody super excited?

I would be so super excited.

She told me it's a Paris theme.

Ooh la la, that sounds amazing!

We should get you

a new dress.

So what do you say, shaggy?

Chop-chop for the fuh-fuh?

You up for it?

Chopping the salad?

Uh... I guess?

Seriously? Sweet!

Stryke is going to flip!

Little buddy.

What? No way am i

putting this thing on.

Over my dead girl body.

Five, six, seven, eight,

and reaching up into

the sky. Chin up.

You gotta keep your chin up

in life. And...

Five, six, seven, eight,

and kick, two, three, four,

and point, toes, toes, toes,

like your life depends on it.

And reaching up into the sky,

reach, reach, hold your toes

as much as you can. It's really

hard, it hurts me to watch.

And reaching over,

and hold that hug, hug,

and... huh.

Ellie?

What? I got chilly.

Freak just keeps

getting freakier.

Right. No, it's not appropriate.

No. Here we go:

Five, six, seven, eight,

and reaching up to the sky

like "what have I done

with my life?" And kick,

two, three, four.

Whoa!

Oh, what is that? It smells

like someone boiled a

cabbage in a sweat sock!

Yeah, stryke had

the chili at lunch.

Dude! Heard you're gonna

let me mow the flow!

That deserves a bropile!

Alright, alright.

Time to trim the fringe.

What?

Hey, it's Jack. Leave

a message. Or don't.

I would kill you, Jack

Malloy, but I can't

live without you.

Hit me back.

I'm sorry, Jack, I just...

I can't get yelled at

right now.

Alright, sport, go grab

your bucket and breezers,

we'll fire you up

-a protein shake

before tryouts.

-Right, my...

Bucket and... breezer..

Breezers.

Ok.

So, can we talk

about the phone again?

Oh yeah! You mean about the

totem thing? Awesome!

Let's break it down.

Oh, Ellie! I'm so glad we're on

the same wavelength about this!

So let's say this totem had

some kind of power over you.

What would you need to do

to, like, un-power it?

Funny you should ask!

'Cause I did exactly that!

I deactivated your flip

phone and got you a new one!

-Deactivated?!

-Well, the switch won't be

official until Sunday.

-Sunday?!

-It seemed

like perfect timing,

because we're on the cusp

of a harvest moon...

-Harvest moon?

-And that's when the old

data plan expires.

-Expires?!

Sweetheart, your aura

seems to have an echo.

Nooooooo!!!

My hair!

-Bro!

-Babe? Now your aura is yelling.

Whoa.

The bros finally

got ya, huh?

Now c'mon, suit up! Your dad

wants you on the ice, man.

My dad? Oh, right.

Let's go, ladies!

"You either hack it, or you

pack it!" The great santini.

That's Jack's dad? Poor Jack.

Poor me.

Dude. Sorry. I think

i took your mouth guard.

What? I got germs

or something?

It's not my mouth, it's not

my mouth, it's not my mouth...

We're stopping?

But there's this book

i really need to read!

I told you last night, honey.

Dr. Baker. For your team

physical.

Say what now, lady?

Ok! Drills today,

rest day tomorrow,

and then scrimmage against

varsity for the final

tryouts on Sunday.

Show me what you got!

Ah!!

Ow!!

Hockey sticks, that's

a slam shot to the puck!

Ah!!!

Oh, letter b.

Oh my gosh, dude,

that is so cold.

Ok, Ellie, you can

take the mask off now.

I just don't like looking

at needles or other things

that aren't technically

my right to look at.

Ooh! Sorry.

You seem a little off.

Your mom told me about

what's been going on.

I know dad leaving was

rough. Losing a parent

is so hard.

Who exactly was I looking at

on that ice in there?

Uh, just little old me, sir.

Jack Malloy... sir.

It's my own fault.

"Expecting is my greatest crime

and disappointment is always

my punishment." Author unknown.

-But not unwise.

-Look, sir,

I know I totally blew it today,

but I'm really hoping

I'm gonna be back to myself

soon. Like, really soon.

I'm wondering if I should

even tell you this or not,

but I can't tell if putting more

pressure on you is good or bad.

Well, like, 99% of child

psychologists would say "bad".

We're dedicating a bleacher seat

to your mother's memory

on Sunday,

since it's the one year

anniversary of...

I would just rather avoid

the irony of her son

blowing his chance for varsity

on the same day. You got me?

You cut your hair.

She always liked it long.

But good choice. Good choice.

It's better for us if

we just keep moving forward.

I put the rejuvenating oils and

the relaxing salts in the bath.

I also added some lavender

bubble bath and some rose

petals for tranquillity.

Lucky girl, you're gonna smell

like a bouquet of roses!

I am so jelly!

No way this dude's

doin' bubbles.

Yo, Jacko! Your phone kept

ringing so I answered it!

It's a giiiiiiirl.

-Hello?

-Kinda afraid to ask,

but... hockey tryouts?

-Kinda afraid to answer.

-Aw, man.

I don't wanna ask

about rhythmic practice,

I'm not supposed to cry

in your body, remember?

Ok, we just need to focus on

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