The Swap Page #6

means without sassy?

I mean, there's more than

one bff in the sea, right?

So I don't hang out

and play video games,

i don't eat pizza.

What else don't I do?

You know, from your

perspective as a friend.

Huh. Well, aside from

standing up to the coach,

which, let's face it,

is not gonna happen,

i guess the biggest

thing would be...

-Well, you know.

-Yeah,

of course I know. I don't...

-I always... I...

-You got no game.

I got no game! Wait. What?

I'm this cool of a kid and i

have trouble talking to girls?

Do all of you guys know

i have trouble talking

to girls?

-Yeah, bro.

-Even I have

better game than you.

And I got chronic halitosis.

Well, let's talk

about this.

-What can I do to beat it?

-I think I know how.

-Really??

Well, spill, girl! I mean,

spill about girls, mister.

Alright, well,

the only people you ever

have around you are...

Guys. Maybe you need to have,

like, a girl who's a friend,

before you ever have

a girl...Friend. Maybe.

Bro, are your two initials

y and y?

Because you are too wise,

too wise, my friend.

-Blowing my mind.

-I like this guy.

This is so boring.

"Joie de vivre" at

a party with no boys?

Please. I'd get some "joie"

if we could "leave"

this horror show.

Quick, follow me.

Ooh! Ooh!

- Oh, that's a good one.

I love it!

Look at that.

Oh, my god! Genius.

Hey, sassy, Aspen!

Take that down!

You're ruining everything!

Hey, what are you two doing?

You know you're being

totally uncool.

Yeah, well, you would know

"totally uncool", El,

that's your specialty.

- Oh, come on, Ellie,

take a joke. It's funny.

Ok. You know who wouldn't

think it's funny?

Jack Malloy.

That's right. He and i

are tight. Like, so-tight-

i-know-his-thoughts, tight!

Like tighty-whitey tight!

-Ok, maybe not that.

That's weird.

-Yeah.

Wait. It's one thing for you

to be going after him,

but you're saying he's into

you, too? This I gotta see.

I think it's time

for a little excursion.

There's no way she's a 7,

she's a 5 at most. But that

new girl, Aspen? She's a 9

-verging on a 10.

-Come on, it's so not cool

to reduce girls to numbers.

What about sassy gayles?

She's a total smoke

show now!

Nah, she wears

way too much makeup.

And she's kind of a fake.

We grew up on the same street

and she won't even talk

to me anymore.

But what do you think

about her friend?

The one with the ponytail?

Tracksuit! Now we're talking.

Ellie, I think her name is.

I don't know, guys,

there's something about her.

She's real, ya know?

Plus she's so hot.

Dude, you been

holding out on us?

No. Yes. I don't know.

Whoa! I'm like... kinda pretty.

Oh right, my hair.

Uh... looks awesome in the wind!

-What the heck is going on?

-Kiss me.

-What?!

-Shh! Oh, Jackie, you flirt!

Of course I'll walk

to the bridge with you

so we can be alone!

-Oh my gosh!

-What are they doing?

What is going on with these two?

Ok, don't freak,

but I kinda made everybody

think that you liked me.

-Well, that I liked you.

-What?! Why?!

-'Cause you told me to make

you cool and popular!

-Yeah, but only

so I could get sassy back!

Don't you get it? This is

major girl code violation!

Girl code is just like bro code?

But bros have your back!

-This girl is

stabbing you in the back!

-Ugh, you're such a guy!

Look, if we don't lock lips,

everyone's gonna think

you're a liar.

And if we do, I'm a traitor.

Great! You had one job,

to get my bff back,

and you screwed it up!

This is hopeless! The last day

of hockey tryouts are tomorrow

and we're not gonna switch back!

-My life is over!

-Aagh! I can't even

look at my face right now!

Yeah? Well, I. Make. Me. Sick!

-Wait! El, you're leaving?

-Yeah.

She's gotta get home before

midnight, otherwise her dress is

gonna turn back into a leotard!

Ok, normally I wouldn't call

a girl out, but you know

what? Come at me, gymnasty!

Uh-oh, girl fight!

My money's on you, tracksuit.

-Thanks, porty.

-Oh, Jack, don't do it.

-You deal with her, she's

your ex-bff, not mine!

-Ellie,

don't be such a guy

about this, ok?

You wanna be friends again

like you asked before?

'K, we're friends. Good?

Are you kidding?

You don't know anything

about friendship, sassy.

All it took was for someone

shinier to come to town

and you dropped El... me

like yesterday's garbage.

You know, I guess

i should thank Aspen.

It's because of her that

you showed your true colors.

And speaking

of true colors...

- No!

"Freak just keeps

getting freakier!"

-No, he's ruining everything!

-Ellie, are you ok?

I've never seen you do

something like that before.

Jack!

Jack Malloy! Where are you?

"Honesty is the first chapter

in the book of wisdom!"

-Thomas Jefferson.

-Seriously?

- Don't do it.

Don't you do it.

What are you...

No, no, no.

Boys don't cry!

It's allergies.

Sand in my eyes, coach.

They don't cry.

You need to take

a long look in the mirror

and think hard about how you're

gonna redeem yourself tomorrow.

Oh, you took stuff

out of her closet.

That's all. Good night.

Oh hey, El-bell,

how was the party?

Ok.

Seriously, Ellie, why sassy?

Come on, let's go.

Ah, she can't lose them both.

I'm such a doofus.

"Jack's goals.

Number one, make varsity.

Number two, play

for Boston college.

Number three,

get drafted by the NHL.

Number four, thank my mom

when I win the Stanley cup.

Signed Jack Malloy.

Witnessed by Linda Malloy".

So, one more time.

You made your phones

into magic wands

and shazamed your souls

into each others' bodies?

Do I gotta burp "the pledge of

allegiance" again to prove it?

I pledge allegiance.

Ok, ok, I'm convinced.

And you're sure this is

the way to get back?

It's the last way we can think

of to make each others' lives

better.

Do you really think we can

get our bodies to cooperate?

It's in our muscles,

believe me.

When I ran this morning

i was able to tap into

your body's power.

-You can do the same with mine.

-I don't know.

-Here, watch.

Ok then.

All I've gotta do is teach you

the gymnastics routine, and you

teach me the hockey rules!

Let's go.

Yep! I'm here. I got up early

and didn't come from

anywhere else!

Dude! You are nails, Jacko!

-Oh good, you're up!

-I'm up!

-I'm definitely up!

-Great! Your spirulina

smoothie is almost ready.

I'll add a little ginseng.

Uh, have I mentioned

how bizarre all this is?

Dude, I'm rockin' a leotard

and body glitter. You don't

have to tell me.

Is Ellie's dad here?

No-show.

Poor Ellie.

You know, if you wanna

sneak over to the rink

for your mom's ceremony.

-It's ok. I don't need to.

-You sure? There's enough time.

I don't want to, ok?

I'm sorry,

I'm just... I just really

need to focus. If we don't

fulfill this quest by noon,

-you'll have to ask me

to the homecoming dance.

-Better nail it.

I will, dork trap.

Ellie.

She just really loved the

game. And not just 'cause

her kids ruled the ice.

We miss you, mom.

And now your spirit

will always be here.

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