The Swindle Page #3

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The meal was superb.

Is this story almost over?

I swear it's all true!

What do you take me for?

Stop rocking the chair

or we'll fall. I swear it's true!

Alright. Now tell me how and when

you got from Nice to Sills Maria?

We flew here two days ago.

No. You've been here for ten days.

I asked at the desk.

Were you in the secret service,

Colonel?

- Why are you lying to me?

- I'm not. It's all true.

Okay, it's all true,

but it happened last year.

A year! You've known each other

for a year? Bravo!

You've led a secret life!

Stop acting like an old fogey.

You needed some time off

to chase after your boyfriend.

Stop it and listen.

He's here to transfer some money.

He's taking a huge amount

of cash to the Antilles.

- Money from where?

- We're better off not knowing.

We're talking

5 million Swiss francs.

- How much?

- Swiss francs in a briefcase.

How much?

5 million.

He told you all this

just like that.

A year of work, old friend.

A wolf in sheep's clothing!

- You know your story stinks.

- Swiss money has no smell.

Great!

I'm as hungry as a wolf!

I'll lower the flame.

We'll leave it to you.

You're the expert.

Did Sissi tell you? I love fondue.

I'd come to Switzerland

just for that.

Not just for that, I hope.

What did you do in the army?

Theoretically, I don't have

the right to tell you.

I think I'll take the risk.

Military Intelligence.

Financial Branch.

Must've been interesting.

Very interesting.

Are you finding retirement hard?

I find ways to keep busy.

You've got rhythm.

Anybody need a dentist?

You have to admire

the beauty of the thing.

The warm, subtle intermingling

of cheese melted in white wine.

Not forgetting the white wine...

cool and fruity.

It personally gives me

an incomparable taste sensation.

Except for maybe

a mouthful of Beluga caviar

and a glass or two of pepper vodka.

But only Pertjoska!

Thank you, Colonel

for this feast.

As a man who dodged

military service, I thank you.

- Can't you shut him up?

- I've never seen him like this.

Must be the mountain air.

I shouldn't say this,

but in all my life

I can say I've never taken orders

from a thug in a military uniform.

I'm stopping. We got ripe ones.

The seasons started.

- What'd he say?

- He says the seasons started.

I can get on myself.

- Go down with the Colonel.

- I'm going with you.

- Are you French?

- Yes.

I thought you were Polish!

Don't move. Don't talk.

Okay.

He's plastered.

He didn't drink that much.

He can't handle much alcohol.

You put him

on my side of the bed.

Spare me the details.

Take his shoes off instead.

What is this portable safe?

It's the attach case he uses

to transport money.

- Looks pretty serious.

- I told you.

He's waking up.

You think so?

He's just moving a bit.

Indre, Haute-Garonne, Essonne,

Eure-et-Loir, Ariege,

Tarn-et-Garonne,

Puy-de-Dome and Cantal.

These postal codes

could be useful.

Listen, I think

the best thing to do

is to let him sleep.

Can I take you out for a drink?

I'd be delighted.

Thank you, Colonel.

See you in the bar in half an hour.

It's humiliating for all Belgians.

Do you realize...

no matter where you go,

people won't let their kids

go out alone.

Waiter, four whiskies please.

And some chips.

- I'm sure you're angry with me.

- For what?

For messing up your plans.

It wouldn't be very gracious of me.

I realize I overestimated

the possibilities of this operation.

But it doesn't happen very often.

- What'll you have?

- Nothing with alcohol. Water.

- You want tea?

- No, water.

- You speak French?

- I'm French.

Give us

two sparkling mineral waters.

I like Switzerland.

It's so cosmopolitan.

Now, tell me all about your clown.

He's not a clown. He's very nice.

I don't think he's nice,

but we'll discuss that later.

What we're interested in is

his attach case and the Antilles.

He's delivering it

to someone in Guadeloupe.

We leave for Geneva

the day after tomorrow.

He's got the tickets.

Geneva / Paris,

Paris / Pointe--Pitre.

You're going with him?

He wants me to go with him.

How long is this honeymoon

expected to last?

You don't understand.

I don't think he intends

to come back.

What makes you think that?

I think he plans on

pulling a fast one.

On who?

On the people he works for.

You really want to know

what I think?

I can't wait!

Put it on my tab.

- No, put it on room 184.

- Yes, ma'am.

You've got no conscience.

No morals either.

I learned from the best.

You didn't learn your lessons.

It deals with illegal moralizing

of immoral laws. It's patent.

- Do you believe that?

- I do my best.

I love talking to you.

You'd convince me that intelligence

is the key to happiness.

Very flattering,

but the opposite is also true.

Happiness

is the key to intelligence.

Let's get back to the a**hole.

What exactly do you think?

He's not an a**hole.

I think he's going

to take the money and run.

With you?

I think he's really in love with me.

A sentimental fugitive.

The worst kind!

Tell me frankly.

Where do you stand in all this?

I told you everything.

It won't be easy.

I know that type of attach case.

Without the combination, you'd need

a drill or a laser to get it open.

He didn't give you the combination?

He may be in love

but he's not crazy.

You think you could get it?

Be serious, Colonel.

I'm kidding.

But it really is a problem.

Water's not my drink.

Another thing. He told me

that during the transfers,

he chains the attach case

to his wrist

with a pair of handcuffs.

I don't like this guy

at all.

That's all we needed.

If anyone can handle it,

you can...

Don't let me down.

You're the most perverse creature

I know.

You're the one who taught me

how to have fun.

I'm not sure

this job will be all that much fun.

It sounds a bit too risky.

Though it is tempting,

I grant you that.

We're stepping out of our league.

This is too big for us.

Sorry, but if you can't handle it,

I'll just go it on my own.

It's dangerous, my dear!

I'm the one handcuffed

to the attach case.

I told him it was a turn on,

that I wanted to share

all of his experiences.

He hesitated at first,

then accepted.

By the way,

here comes your Italian admirer.

Good heavens, hide me!

You can get up, she's gone.

I'll be taking my leave too.

- Where are you going?

- To Paris, my dear.

I'll leave a note with the doorman.

Memorize it and then eat it.

And don't breathe a word

to Maurice.

You know I love you...

you old codger.

See you soon.

Victor!

I think I made a mistake.

I told Maurice who you were.

Interesting.

Don't make any more blunders.

He's leaving tonight.

Three pieces of luggage?

So, how does it feel?

Pretty exciting...

but it's lighter than I thought.

It's only paper after all.

Can't wait for the sun!

- Sit by the window.

- Does it matter to me!

You've got the case,

you sit by the window.

- Did you see him?

- No.

- He chickened out.

- Looks that way.

- Are you disappointed?

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