The Sword in the Stone

A legend is sung

Of when England was young

And knights

were brave and bold

The good king had died

And no one could decide

Who was rightful heir

to the throne

It seemed that the land

Would be torn by war

Or saved by a miracle alone

And that miracle appeared

In London town

The sword

In the stone

And below the hilt

in letters of gold...

were written these words:

"Whoso pulleth out this sword

of this stone and anvil...

is rightwise king

born of England."

Though many tried for the sword

with all their strength...

none could move the sword

nor stir it.

So the miracle

had not worked.

And England was still

without a king.

And in time, the marvellous sword

was forgotten.

This was a dark age...

without law

and without order.

Men lived in fear

of one another...

for the strong

preyed upon the weak.

A dark age indeed!

Age of inconvenience.

No plumbing...

no electricity...

no nothing!

Oh, hang it all!

Hang it all!

Oh, now what?

Now what?

Leave, leave off!

Leave off!

Oh, you, you, you

fiendish chain you!

Everything complicated.

One big medieval mess.

Now, uh, let me see.

He should be here in,

I'd say half an hour.

Who? Who? I'd like

to know who.

I told you, Archimedes.

I am not sure.

All I know is that someone will

be coming. Someone very important.

Oh, pinfeathers!

Fate will direct him to me

so that I, in turn...

may guide him to his rightful

place in the world.

Huh! And-And you say he will

arrive in half an hour?

Ha! Well, we'll just see.

And you will, Archimedes.

You will.

Ow!

He'll be, uh, a boy.

Small boy.

Eleven, twelve years old.

And a scrawny little fellow.

Oh, no, no, no.

That can't be the one.

Surely not. Why, that big lad

must be close onto 20.

Ah. There he is.

The scrawny little

fellow about 12.

He's a regular

little grasshopper.

Look at him go.

And where... where would you

guess he is at this very moment?

I am not guessing,

Archimedes!

I know where he is!

Less than a mile from here

just beyond the forest.

And right on schedule,

if-if all goes well.

- Quiet, Wart.

- I'm tryin' to be.

And nobody asked you to

come along in the first place.

- I'm not even movin'.

- Shut up.

Aha! Here we go.

Oh, what a set-up.

Right smack through

the old gizzard.

Whoa. What? Oh!

Why, you clumsy,

little fool!

Oh, Kay, please, I'm sorry.

I couldn't help it. Please.

If I ever...

If I ever get my hands on,

on you, I'll, I'll ring...

your scrawny little neck,

so help me, I will.

I'll get the arrow, Kay.

I'm sure I can find it.

Don't tell me you're

going in there.

Why, it's swarming with wolves.

I'm not afraid.

Well, go ahead.

It's your skin, not mine.

Go on, go on.

There it is.

Oh, there it is.

Whoa! What... Oh!

Well.

So, you, you did drop in

for tea after all.

Oh, you are a bit late,

you know.

- Oh, I, I am?

- Yes.

Now, my name is Merlin.

Come, come,

who are you, my lad?

Oh, my name's Arthur,

but everyone calls me Wart.

Oh.

Oh, what a perfect

stuffed owl.

Stuff...

I, I, I beg your pardon!

He's alive and he talks.

And certainly a great deal

better than you do.

Oh, come, Archimedes.

Come, come now.

I, I want you

to meet the Wart.

Now, you must forgive him.

He's only a boy.

Boy? Boy?

Well, I see no boy.

- Oh, I'm sorry that l...

- That's all right.

He's much too sensitive.

Sensitive? Huh?

Who? What? What?

- Oh, well.

- How did you know that I was...

Oh, th-that you would

be dropping in?

Well, I happen to be

a wizard. A soothsayer.

A prognosticator. I have

the power to see into the future.

Centuries into the future!

I, I've even been there, lad.

And I've seen all these things.

They're, they're only plans and

small models, of course, you know.

Now, this for instance

is a steam locomotive.

There she goes.

Pretty good, eh?

Now, that won't be invented

for hundreds of years!

Oh. You mean you can see

everything before it happens?

Yes, everything.

Uh-uh, uh-uh.

Everything, Merlin?

Uh... No, no,

not everything.

I, uh, I admit I didn't know

whom to expect for tea.

But as you can see...

I figured the exact place.

You're very clever, sir.

Yes. Well, never mind

the, the, the sir.

Just, uh, plain Merlin will do.

Now, would, would you

care for sugar?

Oh, yes, I would, please.

All right. Sugar. Sugar?

No, no, manners, manners, manners!

Guests first, you know that!

All right.

Say when, lad.

When!

- Have you had any schooling?

- Oh, yes!

I'm training to be a squire.

I'm learning the rules of combat

and swordsmanship and...

and jousting

and horsemanship.

Oh, yes, yes, very good.

That's, that's...

No, no, no, l...

I mean a, a, a real education.

Mathematics. History.

Biology. Natural science.

English. Latin. French.

No. When! When!

Blast it all! When!

Impudent piece of crockery.

Boy, now, you can't...

You can't grow up without

a decent education, you know.

Oh, I suppose not, sir...

Merlin.

So, I am going to be

your tutor.

But I've got to get back to the castle.

They'll want me in the kitchen.

Oh, well.

Then very well.

We'll pack and

be on our way.

You... You watch now.

You'll like this.

Higitus figitus

zumba ka zing.

I want your attention,

everything.

We're packing to leave.

Come on. Let's go.

No, no, not you. Books are

always first, you know.

Hockety pockety wockety whack

Abra abra dabra nack

Shrink in size very small

We've got to save enough room for all

Higitus figitus migitus mum

Prestidigitonium

Alika fez, balika zez

Malaca mez meripedes

Hockety pockety wockety...

Whoa!

Now, stop, stop, stop, stop!

See here, sugar bowl.

You're getting rough. That poor

old tea set is cracked enough.

Now. Now, all right.

Let's start again.

Ah, let's start... Eh...

Oh. Where was I, boy?

- Uh, hock-hockety pockety?

- Oh, yes, yes, that's right.

Hockety pockety wockety wack

Odds and ends and bric-a-brac

Be with you in just a minute, son.

Packing's almost done.

You, you, you

bungling blockhead!

Hey, easy there.

No, no, go ahead.

Dum doodly doodly doodly dum

This is the best part now.

Higitus figitus migitus mum

Prestidigitonium

Higitus figitus migitus mum

Prestidigitoni...

- Ha, ha!

- What a way to pack.

Well... Well, now,

just a minute, boy.

How else would you get all this stuff

into one suitcase, I'd like to know?

- Oh, but I think it's wonderful!

- Oh.

Yes, it is rather.

Now, well...

don't, don't you get any foolish ideas

that magic will solve all your problems.

- Because it won't!

- But, sir, I don't have any problems.

Oh, bah, everybody's got problems.

The world is full of problems.

Oh, blast it all!

There, now. You see what I mean?

See, that's the trouble

with the world today.

Everybody butting their heads against a

brick wall. All muscle and no mentality.

Do you want to be

all muscle and no brain?

- I don't have any muscle.

- You don't? Well,

how do you move about?

Oh, I suppose I,

I do have a little.

Aha. There, you see. Well, that's

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