The Three Stooges in Orbit Page #4

...and the first head is pointy, you take

it right there and the pointy part...

...goes right in that wall there.

-That's where the pointy part belongs.

-Yeah, how stupid can you get

I don't know, I guess you can get

pretty stupid if you're like me.

Boy, oh, boy.

Here we go.

Termites

-Larry! Larry!

-What's the matter

-Did you hit yourself

-No, I didn't hit myself.

Something hit me through that hole

there. Come right out, hit me.

-You see, you see.

-You're crazy, there's nothing in there.

What do you mean,

there's nothing there

-Larry, Larry! Again. Again.

-What did you do, hit yourself again

Didn't hit myself again.

It came through the hole again.

-Oh, don't bo--

-You'll see it. Look, can you see it

-See it

-There's nothing there!

-Now get to work!

-All right, so there's nothing there--

Oh, yeah What--

Oh, no.

You're still playing around

We got work to do.

I ain't playing around with--

Good work, boys!

At last, you did something right.

But, Moe, we didn't--

-Did we

-Come on, boys, hop aboard.

We don't want to keep

the professor waiting.

Get in there, come on.

Attaboy.

-I hope you can make it.

-There's not very much room there.

Have no concern.

When I throw this throttle in, we will

ease slowly through the opening.

Twenty-two minutes late!

I can't wait for this thing much longer.

Sorry, general, but the captain

assured me that it'd be here.

Here it comes!

Let's make a snappy entrance.

Believe me, this is going to be

something you'll never forget.

Hey, boys!

Right here!

There's the professor.

Hi, professor!

-It's Moe! Moe's driving it!

-Come back here!

Look out, professor!

Shut her down, you bubblebrain.

Well, professor, perhaps your

machine isn't quite ready yet.

Oh, yes, it is, sir.

Besides, I want you people to have it...

-...before the Martians get it.

-That's a very good--

-What did you say

-The Martians, they want it.

Look, the airplane!

-Put on your brakes!

-I can't find a pedal.

-Use the emergency!

-The emergency.

-You mean this

-Yeah.

The airplane!

-That was close.

-You did it.

You got us over that,

boy, you are a doll.

Col. Lane,

get that ship off the field!

-Ground that thing, that's an order!

-That's an order!

Don't look now,

but I think we're being followed.

-Maybe we'll get a ticket.

-Hey, can you get one for my friend

Come on.

The bookstore!

Bookstore!

Up, up, up!

Easy does it.

You came through again, Moe.

Bookstore!

Come on, you idiot.

Look out, girls!

Hey, Moe, you're heading

for the general!

Look out,

you'll knock him on his brass!

See that that goes back

where it belongs.

Eyes right!

Sir!

I wish to report--

Now see here!

Oh, dear me.

-Andrews!

-Yes, general

What have you got to say

Well, I'm sorry I listened

to that old crackpot, sir.

-Father, we're going home.

-Carol! Wait a minute, I'll take you.

No, thank you.

This time we'll take the bus.

And leave the court-martial to us!

How do you like that

Visibility zero.

-Yeah, and you can't see either.

-No, you--

Get that map out of my face!

You want me to wreck the ship

I want to see what road we're on.

You applebrain, we haven't been

on a road since we left the air base.

-How are we fixed for gas

-How are we fixed for gas

Well, the arrow's pointing halfway...

...so I don't know

whether it's half-empty or half-full.

-Remind me to wallop you later.

-I'll make a note of it.

I'll do it now.

What are we stopping here for

-What are you stopping for

-I didn't stop it. It's the engines.

Well, come on,

we got a repair job to do.

You are about to witness a test of

the Navy's new atomic depth charge...

...which has been placed

at the base of this tower.

This is the bomb.

Powerful enough to destroy

every enemy submarine...

...within a radius of 6 miles.

And utterly devastate

an equal area on land.

The bomb is adjusted

to maximum sensitivity.

The slightest contact with moisture

will set it off.

However, for test purposes...

...it will be exploded by dropping water

on it from this tower.

The countdown will now begin.

Gentlemen, put on

your safety glasses.

Well, that takes care of the distributor.

Just had a little sand in it.

-Give me the carburetor.

-Give me the carburetor!

Give me the carburetor,

give me the carburetor.

Here it is.

Seven, six....

Three, two....

-Hurry up!

-Here you go.

One of those crazy

desert cloudbursts.

What happened

Gentlemen, I don't understand it.

That was enough water

to detonate a dozen bombs.

-Boy that was tight, but I made it fit!

-Yeah.

All it takes is a little know-how.

Hey, what are you doing,

swimming in a mirage

-No, fellas, I was just standing there--

-Yeah, yeah, just standing there.

Well, stop standing there

and climb aboard!

Climb aboard, all right,

climb aboard.

Down with the hatch!

There's some kind of vehicle

out there.

Gentlemen, someone has stolen

the bomb!

Security! Security, this is an

emergency, an emergency!

All right, now, men, hear this.

This is it.

Contact.

-Boy, what power!

-If the professor could see us now!

All because we cleaned a little sand

out of the distributor.

Yeah.

-Talent shows.

-It does

-Take over, I'll check the Fathometer.

-Okay.

-Hey, we're not doing too bad.

-Okay up there.

Hey, fellas, get a load of the news.

Officials of Los Amigos

Proving Grounds...

...were thrown into consternation

when a new atomic depth charge...

...was mysteriously stolen from its test

site seconds before being detonated.

-How do you like those crooks

-Authorities warn...

...the tremendous destructive power

of this bomb...

...will be unleashed at once

on the slightest contact--

Can you imagine stealing

an atom bomb

It just shows you how stupid

some people can get.

-Get away from there!

-All right.

-As you were!

-All right, I'm sorry.

-But it's disgusting, I'll say that.

-Yes, you are.

Not me, the people

who stole the bomb, stupid.

We're flying!

A lake.

Full speed on the choppers!

We haven't gone underwater yet.

Let's try the submarine bit.

You lamebrain, you saw what

happened with sand in the distributor.

What will happen with water

in the carburetor

-So, what could possibly happen

-You could possibly get a busted skull!

All right, all right.

-We're flying!

-We're in the air!

-Blue water.

-Blue water.

Remember, keep your cotton-picking

fingers off that orbit button.

-What do you think, I'm dumb

-I don't think, I know.

Well, I don't think you know either.

As I was saying, keep your cotton-

picking fingers off the orbit button.

-What do you think I am, dumb

-I don't think, I know.

-Well, I don't think you know either.

-Come on.

Hey, didn't we just do that

-Did you see what I just saw

-A flying submarine

-Flight 707 to Control--

-No, not a flying submarine.

-No, we didn't see it.

-No, no, no, we didn't see a thing.

I know the boys did their best,

but it's plain...

...my machine wasn't ready

after all.

I just hope

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes