The Thrill of It All Page #4

of outside interests and hobbies."

- Ridiculous!

- Ah, you wrote it, darling.

I know I did but it doesn't pertain to you.

- Oh, it doesn't?

- Certainly not.

You're planning for our kids

to remain young forever.

Of course I'm not.

Daddy's not planning

for us to remain young.

Can he do that?

You have outside interests and hobbies.

You have the PTA

and you make your own ketchup...

The PTA and home-bottled ketchup.

That is it. And it's not very fulfilling.

I didn't realise your life lacked fulfilment.

You've always shouted how being

a doctor's wife was career enough.

It is. I didn't mean to sound

as if I'm unhappy.

I'm very happy, and you know that. But...

But selling Happy soap

would make you happier.

You know I would never consciously go out

looking for a job, don't you?

But to have something like this

just land in my lap.

Honey. Honey. It's only once a week.

And I won't let anything interfere

with my wifely duties. I promise.

Shot down by my own artillery.

The programme is over at 9:00

so I should be home by 10:30, Olivia.

Andrew hasn't had his vitamin pills,

so see that he gets those.

Maggie wants to wear

her flowered panties tomorrow.

- You'll have to hand wash them.

- I will.

If Dr Boyer comes home before I do,

tell him there's a note

in the kitchen on the board.

The children want to watch me tonight.

I said, "Absolutely not, it's too late."

So if they give you an argument,

you let 'em watch.

Children! Mommy's leaving!

Hurry up! I'm late. I want a kiss.

- Bye, Mommy!

- Bye, Mommy!

Oh! What have you been doing?

- I thought they were watching television.

- Oh!

I'm making Andy's hair smell happy again,

like my piano teacher.

Mommy, the happy smell wore off.

Something else is gonna wear off

if you don't get up in that bathroom.

- I'm so late.

- I'll take care of the little devils.

Make sure they don't drown each other.

Goodbye! Goodbye, all! See ya!

What did he say?

"The happy smell wore off."

"'Mommy, the happy smell wore off."

'Those were his exact words.

'And, um, well, there he was, standing

in the hallway with a head full of shampoo,

'dripping all over my nice blue rug.

'Ls he gonna get it when I get home.

'Maggie said she was making his hair

smell happy.

'L-I know it sounds silly, of course,

'but I always say,

"Don't knock it till you try it."

'And, um, tonight, I'm going to go home

and shampoo my hair with Happy soap,

'and I'll let you know.

'Oh! Oh, um, I meant to tell you,

'don't forget you can shower with it.

'And we know it's good for that.

'Bye.'

'Now the third act

of Happy Playhouse... '

Gentlemen, what do you think?

Would you hire her to sell soap?

It's difficult to make a snap appraisal

until we test-market her potential.

I'd go along with Billings on that.

I'd rather not comment

until exploratory samplings can be made.

I advised against it

but they hired her anyway.

You mean she's already been hired?

- One year, solid.

- But why?

Because my dad ordered it.

Oh. Well, uh, now that I think about it,

I'm inclined to go along with your dad.

She has a new and honest approach

to the product.

Yes, I'd go along with Billings

going along with your dad.

- She does have a-a-a...

- New and honest approach?

Yes, I'll go along with that.

- What do you think, Van Camp?

- Oh, I quite agree.

- With what?

- With everything.

Good thinking.

Come in.

'And now we return... '

Oh! Mrs Boyer.

We were just talking about you.

- Oh, Mike, was I all right?

- You were wonderful.

I was so nervous.

I wish you'd write things out for me.

- Mrs Boyer.

- Hello, Mr Fraleigh.

- Mr Billings, Mr Stokely, Mr Van Camp.

- How do you do, gentlemen?

How do you do?

You were just fine.

That's exactly what Dad wants.

Oh, good. I hope I pleased him.

You were delightful.

We'll tell you all about it at the party tonight.

- What party?

- It's at the Cartier Hotel.

I want all my staff

and network people to meet you.

Oh, I didn't know about a party.

- Oh.

- And my husband's expecting me at home.

Oh, well, he would be

perfectly welcome to join us.

After all, you are our guest of honour.

- Why, certainly.

- Oh! Really?

Oh. That's very nice.

Um, uh, maybe I could call him

at the hospital

and he could meet me at the party

when he's finished.

- Fine, fine, fine.

- Oh, I'll do that. Good.

I hate to be a killjoy but shouldn't we watch

the art we're sponsoring this week?

Oh, good heavens. Third act, third act.

- Mike, may I phone from here?

- Yeah, sure. Right here.

Oh, hello, is Dr Boyer there, please?

Oh, yes, I'll wait.

'Lorraine, what a surprise. You will join me

in a glass of champagne, won't you?

'Waiter, another glass, please.

'Well, what a pleasant surprise. I must say

you're looking marvellously well, my dear.

'Ln honour of this occasion,

I'd like to propose a toast.

'To you, Lorraine.

Thank heavens I didn't marry you.

'Tell me, do you still have

those magnificent soft, white shoulders?

'Whom do you tantalise with them now?

'You... you... you tramp!

'Waiter! You tramp! '

Hey, isn't that scene like the one last week

with the Nazi and that woman?

Similar but the public doesn't notice

things like that.

They did that play last week

except they wore different costumes.

Yeah, it's the same story.

It's much too subtle a variation

for the public to detect.

Yes? Oh, no, don't bother him now.

But would you please give him a message?

He's to meet you at the Cartier Hotel

in the private dining room.

Till 1:
00. All right, Mrs Boyer.

I'll see he gets the message.

'Dr Krindle,

you are wanted in Surgery One.'

Hello, um, I'm trying to get in touch

with Mrs Beverly Boyer.

There ain't nobody here now.

Beverly? Oh, the one that did

the commercial. Cute girl.

'She's gonna be on next week.

Why don't you try and give her a ring then? '

Thanks. I'll do that.

Thank you. Excuse me.

Oh, Beverly. Oh, you must be

so proud of yourself.

I'd be absolutely petrified

if I had to stand in front of a camera.

I was! I was a nervous wreck.

I didn't know what I was going to say.

I just rattled on.

Your rattling is what made that commercial.

It's so refreshing to hear

someone speak so naturally

and so honestly about a product.

Thank you. We're pleased

you like our new approach.

- Your new approach?

- It's been on our launching pad.

Just waited until we found

our little astronaut.

- We haven't seen Dr Boyer.

- Oh, that's right.

- What time is it, please?

- After 1:
00.

Is it? Oh, well, he should be along

any minute now.

"Cold fried chicken in the meat keeper.

Will be home about 10:30.

"I love you, Bev."

Olivia?

Olivia, are you awake?

Olivia? Are you asleep?

Olivia?

- Who are you? What do you want?

- It's me!

Oh, Dr Boyer, I'm terribly sorry.

I didn't know it was you.

Do you always sleep with a bat?

You read such awful things

in the newspapers.

A girl can't be too careful.

- What was it you wanted?

- Did my wife call tonight?

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