The Titfield Thunderbolt Page #5

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I've known a few speak well of it.

There's always some who moan.

Human nature, my dear sir.

No pleasing some people. Thank you.

Ah, well, today's the day. No more

opposition for you, my beauty.

It'll be interesting to see how she

runs with a full load of passengers.

(Hum of conversation)

(Horn honking)

Where are they all going?

They can't have heard

about the accident.

Look!

(Tyres screech)

(Crash)

'Ere, wait a minute. Why don't

you look where you're going?

- Alec.

- All right, there, Bernie.

- There's no harm done.

- It's the police.

What the...? Wait a minute!

Hey, you!

Hey, stop! Stop!

I didn't do it. It wasn't us.

- Shut up!

- I didn't do it, I tell you.

What didn't you do?

They're coming.

The inspector's coming.

My clients wish me to point out

that they are temporarily unable

to utilise their best rolling stock.

They trust you will see fit

to, er, make certain allowances.

Allowances?

As a lawyer, I should've thought

you would appreciate

that the law

makes no allowances.

It recognises only fact.

- Good morning.

- Good morning.

Where would you like to sit,

Mr Clegg?

Back, facing or sideways?

Thank you.

I will stand for the moment.

If I may observe the departure...

You may take the train out.

- This is it, Olly.

- Oh, Sam.

One's first sermon all over again!

Yeah.

(Crowd cheers)

12.03 and one half.

(Man) Hey, stop! Hey, stop!

Wait! Stop!

Stop!

(Brakes screech)

- What the devil's this?

- We've had an accident.

These men are in custody. I must

ask you to convey us to Mallingford.

- This is a private trip.

- Makes no difference, sir.

'Ere, just a minute!

This is my home!

You can't go in without a warrant.

Sorry

This train doesn't leave without us.

Well, it's a lovely day.

I'm quite prepared to walk.

- I'm not.

- We're wasting precious time.

I know we've been high-handed.

We wanted to rent it from you...

How much?

Might we say...10?

Ooh, I'll make it 15.

Your bid.

You can keep everything

we put into it.

Ha! Come on!

(Chuckles)

Cor. Ha!

- Six and a half minutes late

- Nil desperandum, Olly.

Ha! We're off.

Surely, we're entitled to be timed

as from now?

- 12.09.

- Official time of departure, 12.03.

Huh!

(Whistle blows)

(Steam hisses)

(Crowd cheering)

Good luck to you!

- You'll be there on time.

- Good luck, vicar.

- Oh, Sam!

- Chin up, Olly!

Another 50 yards then it's downhill

as far as the water crane.

- Thank you, no.

- What now, Mr Clegg?

- Emergency test.

- After all that delay? Turn it up!

(Rope creaks)

We're over the top!

Notice the difference?

Now, we'll show him! Ha ha ha!

Sam!

Look!

- She won't.

- Then put her in reverse.

It's jammed.

Test satisfactory.

You may proceed.

"Satisfactory"!

(Grinding and clunking)

Here!

Shh! Shh! Quiet.

(Laughter)

Shh!

And this is what they call

adequate transport!

Might just as well

get out and push.

- Running very smoothly.

- Hm. Yes.

It's no use, Sam.

I'm not the man I was.

- Right place...to stop.

- Ah!

Here, quick!

There's our coupling.

Harry! Harry!

Stop!

Harry, lend us your driving chain.

- What?

- How much do you want?

Ground my roller?

Not on your life.

Hey! Let them things alone!

Hey!

Hey! Come out of it!

- Leave it alone!

- Harry, I'll do anything you want.

I'll marry you tomorrow.

You will?

Here, give me that.

Here she comes.

Right, let her go.

(Cheering)

Quiet!

For heaven's sake, keep it quiet.

- Rather a sharp pull-up.

- This is where we take on water.

Five more minutes here.

Better pack up, old man.

- They've lost their chance now.

- Don't listen to him.

I'm not in the habit of being

influenced by hearsay, madam.

That'll do. Let's go.

? Why are we waiting??

We're off.

- We'll never make it up.

- No, it's the end, Olly.

But we'll go down with flying colours.

Bravely spoken.

(Steam hisses)

(Steam hisses)

(Cheering)

(Cheering)

(Cheering)

- Count your blessings, Sam.

- This has made up for everything.

- Well?

- We've made up three and a half.

Only nine minutes late!

Surely he must allow some latitude.

Not this fellow.

Time of run,

29 and one half minutes.

We'd be on time

if you hadn't pulled that cord.

Average speed,

24.25 miles per hour.

If I may hazard a comment,

you were particularly fortunate.

All other requirements

having been satisfactory,

it would have been a pity

if your timing had let you down.

Fortunate?

Had you reached an average speed

of 25 miles an hour,

it would have exceeded the limits

imposed on the light railway.

- Be more careful next time.

- Sam's done it!

(Dan) Hooray! You made it!

Hooray! Good old Reverend!

You made it!

Good old Reverend!

Grand work, sir.

We, who are about to die...

They made it.

(Whistle toots)

(Whistle blows)

- (Cacophony of whistles)

- They made it.

(Cheering)

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