The Toxic Avenger Page #3

to toxic chemical waste.

Achoo!

It is also highly probable

that this monster may

have developed a very

basic instinct which draws him,

or should I say, commands

him to destroy evil.

That new camera really

captures the moment!

I know. The reds are so red!

Really get me hot!

Mr. Mayor?

Yeah?

I got todays receipts from

the drug division. Ha ha!

Good boy, Dennis.

Put over there on the table.

I'll get to it later.

Grr!

Aahhh!

Grrr!

Listen, a**hole, how many

times are you going to

pull that Elephant Man joke?

- Grrr!

- Aahhh!

Let this be a lesson to you, hot ass!

This monster may have

developed a very basic instinct,

to destroy evil.

Hey, you! In the alley!

Hey, knucklehead! How about

some nice young poo time?

No, no! Take me home!

Come on.

Take me home!

You said you were going to take

me to the David Bowie concert!

He's not David Bowie!

Only twelve years old,

and only twelve dollars!

Boys! Help!

Help, boys!

Aaahh!

You can tell all your

scum friends that things

are going to change in this town!

I'm not just another spretty face!

Grrr!

Two prime candidates.

Yeah.

Rack 'em up!

Grrr!

- Wow!

- Wow!

Grrr!

Aahh!

I hear the monster is so big.

I bet he's got his eye on me.

For your information, everyone

knows Monster Prefer Blondes!

There's a feeling going

around town that this monster

is here to protect the people.

The jail's are becoming overcrowded.

This monster has cleaned

the streets of every criminal.

Almost all the criminals.

He hasn't gotten us yet.

What the hell are we going

to do about this monster?

I'll tell you what we're going

to do. We're going to kill him.

Because if we don't kill him,

he's going to kill us.

Grrr!

I owe you for the other

night, monster faggott!

Grrr!

So now we're going to give

you six new a**holes,

compliments of me, Cigar Face!

Grrr!

Get him!

Grr!

Ooh, you aught to have seen it!

His teeth was everywhere!

He look like sh*t!

Hey, what are you doing, blondie?

I'm waiting for my boyfriend.

She's waiting for her boyfriend.

Well, maybe I'm going to

be your boyfriend, baby!

Hey, stop that!

My boyfriend won't like that!

Oh, we'll have to take care

of that wimp of a boyfriend!

Melvin! Melvin!

Melvin!

Oh, Melvin!

Melvin!

Yeah, Melvin. What's up, guys?

Aah!

Why, Melvin, you're beautiful.

You're a beauitful person.

You're so muscular. It's been

two years since I touched a man.

What are you doing to me?

I've never felt like this before.

Grrr!

Grrr!

Aaaahh!

Grrr!

I'll teach you a lesson

you'll never forget!

Aaahh!

Sorry, madam.

Open up please, open up!

Help me, open up please!

Grrr!

Aaahh!

Coming up.

Let me out, someone help me!

Aaahh!

Aaahhh!

Aah! She's stresses me, Slug!

Julie is stressing me, Slug!

I can't take it!

I cannot take it, Slug!

She's not here with car

and I've got to drive, Slug!

I got to drive!

Alright, already, chilld out.

Hey, how would you like

to be behind the wheel

of a beautiful Japanese imported?

Oh, that would be good!

Hi, can we help?

Oh, you sure can.

Thank you very much.

Oh, it's so nice to have you

boys like you here

in the neighborhood.

Aahh!

Aahhh!

Oh, what a feeling, today!

Did you see her face

when I punched her?

I beat that old lady like a bog!

Slug, there's that thing again!

Let's get it!

Sh*t! he's on the roof!

He's on the roof!

Get him off!

He's going to kill both of us!

Swerve the car, swerve the car!

I can't control the car!

He's still there, swerve again!

I can't get him off the car, Slug!

I'm going to die!

Take the wheel! I'm stressed!

Ah, what?

What?

Aaaahhh!

Get out of here!

No!

How do you like this face, Bozo?

Melvin, that's who it is!

Hey, what about the

kid on the bike, Bozo?

How does it feel to hit

a kid on a bike.

Completely, ugh!

Give me the wheel!

Just give me the wheel!

You'll going to kill both of us!

You want the wheel?

Here, take the wheel!

Aaahhh!

Grrr! Ha ha!

Grrr!

Yoohoo! Mr. Wilson!

Mrs Haskel, how are you?

Fine, thank you.

How are the boys?

Those boys are such terrors.

Especially Scott.

He took his best girl out

last night and he came home

with these stains, all over his pants.

I don't know what they are.

I don't either.

Do you think you can get them out?

My car! They're putting

a ticket on my car!

Mrs. Haskel, don't move.

Stay right where you are.

Alright.

I'll be right back.

You can't give me a ticket!

I've got a funeral to go to-

Grr!

Hey, who do you think you're pusing?

What do you want?

Stay away from me!

Stay away from me!

Help! Help! Help!

Stay away from me!

Aaah! Help!

What the...?

I didn't do anything!

I love doing the washing!

Please, don't give me a ticket!

Please, don't give me a ticket!

Okay, Mrs. Haskel, let's see what

we can do with these stains.

Mrs. Haskel. Mrs. Haskel,

what are you doing?

You know customers are

not allowed on that machine.

Mrs. Haskel.

Aah!

Melvin, is that you?

Melvin?

Who's there?

Who is that?

It's me, only me.

You scared me.

Is something wrong?

Everything is wrong.

What the matter?

What have I done?

No, it's not what you've done.

It's what I've done.

I think I'm out of control.

You see, you're blind, Sara.

You don't know who I am.

I'm really the monster

hero you heard about.

And everyday I go out

and I mash people.

I tear them apart and I can't stop.

You better move back

to your apartment.

I don't think its safe

for you to be around me.

Oh, Melvin. I couldn't leave

you now. I love you, Melvin.

I wish we could go somewhere.

Yeah, some far away place.

Where there are no people.

Where I can't kill anybody.

What about that spot near Millers

farm that you told me about?

Where you used to go to be alone.

You said that was a very special place.

Well, we could try it.

Do you think I look

inconspicous enough?

I'll feel better when

we get to the campsite.

Mayor, Mayor!

Chief, look. Our monster

made a little bit of a mistake.

You can't go around dry

cleaning little old ladies

the public won't stand for it.

We can kill him now with

no flack from anybody.

No, no. Bad news, Mayor,

that old lady was hardly

a pillar of the community.

In fact, she can a head of an

internation white slavery ring.

Oh, sh*t!

She had a police record a mile long.

We've got to cover this up.

If it ever gets out to

the press we're sunk.

I want you to do me a favour.

Kill that bastard for me!

Kill him!

Yes, Mayor!

Ladies and gentlemen,

may I have yor attention please.

The mayor will now

take questions from

the ladies and gentlemen

of the press.

Yes, Miss Fink.

What your adminstration stance

in regards to this alleged monster?

Is he a menace or a miracle?

He's definately a menace, Miss Fink.

Right now there'a massive

search underway to find

the thing and destroy it.

Yes, Mr. Leonard?

Instead of trying to kill him,

shouldn't we be trying

to capture him,

bring him in, study him?

It is not a human being.

It is an it you kill an it.

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