The Trip to Italy Page #8

- I absolutely loved

Frankenstein.

- She was more successful

than her husband.

- She was.

She was way more successful.

Probably why Shelley had

so many affairs

with so many women,

probably just jealous of her.

- And he slept

with her stepsister Claire.

- Mary and Shelley together-

they had five kids.

Four of them were lost

before he drowned, though.

That's why they left Rome,

was because William had malaria.

- Ugh,

it must have been horrific

having kids in those days.

- Yes, well, talking about

Frankenstein, of course,

brings to mind my dear friend

Sir Kenneth Branagh

and his production

of Frankenstein with De Niro.

I got a-

I got a-I got a bolt

in my neck.

Got to get a bolt...

- Got to get the bolt

out of my neck.

Got to get this bolt

out of my neck.

Good God.

- He's got a big bolt

in his neck.

Pop a cap in his crazy ass.

I can't get it out.

- Bloody hell.

That's not-that's subtle.

- Loom.

You' re bursting.

- Robert here

is trying to divert you

from the fact that

he can't do Robert De Niro

because he doesn't know

how to do it,

speak through the nose

like that.

You know,

you got to get that sound,

talking through his nose

like that, you know?

And the whole

facial gesture thing-

that's-

that's all part of it, you know?

- Yeah, that's a bit

more familiar.

Talk like that, you know?

That's the way he talks.

- Hey, Frank,

what you got in your neck?

You got something in your neck.

What's that thing

sticking out of your neck?

- I got some goddamn bolts

in my goddamn f***ing neck.

You shut the f*** up,

or I'll rip your head off,

sh*t down

your goddamn f***ing neck,

you stupid b*tch-sucking

motherfucking a**hole.

That's how he-

he speaks like that.

- It was like

watching the video.

- I don't remember that

from Frankenstein.

Was that on the extras?

- Oh, you have to buy

the box set to see that?

You know, Shelley wrote,

"It could make one

fall in love with death,

to be buried

in so beautiful a place. "

And within a year, he was dead.

- Well, be careful

what you wish for.

It is lovely, though.

There's Shelley.

Wow.

- "Nothing of him

that doth fade,

"but doth suffer a sea change

into something

rich and strange. "

Defying the physical, isn't it?

Transcendent.

Yeah.

Here's Trelawney.

- His poetry lives on

in a way that-

"- 'These are two friends

whose lives were undivided. "

Trelawney died aged 88.

What-Shelley was what, 26?

So that's 62 years

they were divided.

- And he-

and he bought this plot

'cause he maintained the grave.

And he bought the boat

that sank-

that killed Shelley.

So it's a bit rich,

him burying himself next to him.

He spent his whole life

dining out on the fact

that he knew

Byron and Shelley-

and claimed to know Keats,

which he didn't.

Steve, look at the book.

Good.

- Okay, now I'm looking away.

I'm thinking.

- Uh-huh.

The light here is great.

- My favorite film

is Roman Holiday.

Oh, yes.

Do you remember Gregory Peck?

Of course.

- He had his flat

in number 51 Via Margutta.

Yes.

This is Via Margutta.

Seriously?

- Yeah. This is it.

- Wow.

- And do you remember he took

her upstairs, and he said-

No, she said

when she got up there-

'cause it was so tiny,

and she's like,

"Is this the elevator?"

Yeah. Yeah.

I love Audrey Hepburn

and Ingrid Bergman.

Keats. Shelley.

- Brilliant,

brilliant actresses.

- La Dolce Vita.

- Si.

- Well, actually, most people

think La Dolce Vita

is about the glamour of Rome,

but it's about the opposite.

it's about...

- Yeah.

The emptiness of that life,

the superficiality.

- Yeah.

Vacuous people.

Mm-hmm.

The term "paparazzi"

comes from the film Dolce Vita.

That's where it came from?

Oi course, 'm Roman Holiday,

Gregory Peck

plays the journalist,

and his photographer friend

is played by Eddie Albert.

- Yes, with his Zippo lighter.

- Yes.

- Which is where the term

"Eddie Alberto" comes from.

Hello?

- Rob?

It-it's Lucy.

- So tell me about-

are you still seeing that guy?

What's his name?

- Roberto.

Roberto.

Roberto Brydono.

I'm sorry.

A horrible thought.

Go on.

- Hello?

- Can you-can you hear me?

- Yeah.

How are you?

Yeah, yeah, Pm good.

Um...

We been missing you.

Oh, Well, I-I, um-

I've missed you too.

Really?

Yeah.

- I-I mean, I've been missing

Hugh Grant as well.

Well, yes, of course.

I mean, it's a terrible loss.

I think we'll all miss him.

I'm sure that-that,

were he here now, he-he would

apologize profusely,

uh, for his, uh, absence.

And I daresay, he-he would

delight at the prospect of-

of dropping anchor,

uh, once again, in, um-

in, uh-in Lucy, um, Cove,

if that's not too,

uh, inopportune, uh, sort of.

Uh. Yeah.

- Oh, you laughed.

Thank God.

- It would be lovely to

see you again, if you wanted.

Yes, it would, wouldn't it?

Yes, um-yeah.

How do we-how can we do that?

Well, I don't know.

Um... where are you?

Uh, Rome.

Ah, I see.

Well, um, look,

shall I call you again?

- Yeah.

- Would you mind?

Is that a good idea?

- Absolutely, yes.

That would be good.

I'd accept the call, definitely.

- It's nice to see you.

- It's nice to see you too.

- Yeah, yeah.

You look fantastic.

Thank you.

There's something in your hair.

- Good.

Well, Vll call you soon, than.

All right, bye, Lucy.

BYE. Bye-bye.

- Bye.

So how did it go last night

with Yolanda?

- Good.

Mission accomplished.

Everyone's happy at,

uh, Houston Ground Control.

Small panic when I disappeared

round the dark side of moon.

Oh!

We lost communication.

But both of us achieved

a very satisfactory splashdown,

and, at which point,

Houston broke into

a round of applause.

When Vesuvius erupted,

it just went "bang!"

And-a cacophonous bang.

They would've seen

a plume of smoke, just-

just "boom,"

right from back there.

And a cloud

going up into the sky.

30,000 Hiroshima bombs,

200 megatons-

imagine that loud a sound.

This whole city's preserved

in formaldehyde,

like this artificial-

that's why it's so remarkable.

it's like a photograph

of the past.

it's a sculpture of the past.

- Well, you know,

a sculpture is an impression.

A photograph-that's reality.

- Yeah,

but a sculpture is 3-D.

A photograph is 2-D.

Uh... yeah.

Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. All right.

Yeah,

these people just are caught

frozen in their death throes.

- Look at his sandal.

- Wow.

They're like yours.

- They are, aren't they?

Yeah, they are.

- It shows you

that even 2,000 years ago,

there were people

with bad dress sense.

For me, the big question is,

how did he get in the box?

Was he an illusionist?

Was he a sort of

David Blaine of his day?

But it is incredible, 'cause,

look, he's gone in;

he's sealed it.

He's like that guy they found

in the hold all in the bath.

it's a small man in a box.

"Here I am.

"Oh, my word.

"How did I get in here?

"I can see the volcano erupting,

and I am petrified. "

The thing is, he was real.

He was-

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