The Trip to Spain Page #2

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just squeezed 'em in quick then?

- Yeah, yeah.

I'm not going the full Mick

Jagger and having them at,

he's having another one at 72.

- Ah, that's tough then.

- Ever met him?

- I have.

- I was at a party.

I was leaving, and I

heard from the balcony,

"Rob, Rob."

- Rob, hey, uh, Rob, Rob.

- Only, well, he didn't do the full,

and I looked up, and he went,

"Don't throw those bloody spears at me."

I said, what?

He goes, "Don't throw

those bloody spears at me."

- Yeah, uh, no, no.

- He was doing Michael Caine.

- I know, I know, but what you find

is that he speaks like, sometimes he,

so it's sorta like that

it's actually quite posh.

And sometimes he's quite,

such that you can say

that he's quite actually

sort of public school thing

going on, you know, and then

he goes sorta deep like that.

But, um, but uh, and uh.

You know, you got that whole

sort of, um, the peacock thing.

- Sorry.

- Sorry.

- He went, "Don't throw

those bloody spears at me."

And I went, oh, you're Michael Caine.

So I looked up at him and I said,

I've told you before, if

you're not gonna sing,

I don't wanna bloody know, now

get back in the other room.

And he want ah-ah-ah-ah, and

off he went, he loved it.

But had I had

- How'd it, uh...

- close conversation with

him, I would have said,

what are you doing having a child at 72?

- No, you know what, I

mean, it's not ideal,

but Charlie Chaplin was

knockin' 'em out in his 80s,

and that's not ideal either,

but we're positively

footloose and care-free.

We're like teenagers

compared to those guys.

- Yeah, yeah.

- We should enjoy this moment.

We're at the sweet spot in our lives.

- Mm-mm-mm-mm.

- We really are.

We're like ripe, you know.

I am in my prime.

That was Miss Jean,

I should play Miss Jean Brodie.

There's a lot of gender-swapping going on

now in big roles.

I could play Miss Jean Brodie.

- HEY-

- Oh.

- Thank you.

- Muchas gracias.

- You writing anything at the moment.

- Of course I am, yeah.

What I'm trying to do with

this odyssey through Spain

is do what Laurie Lee did.

See you don't know this about me.

About 30 years ago, when I was 18,

I came to Spain, backpacking,

after A-levels, before

I want to university,

and I met a woman called Sofia who was 37.

She basically showed me the ropes.

I lost my virginity to her.

- How many years ago?

- Well, it's 32 years ago.

- So she's now 70?

- Yeah, yeah, she's 70, yeah.

- Should we look her up?

- No, I saw, I met her.

She's massive.

Saw her on a Vespa.

- Successful?

No, no, I mean fat.

- I think, the two of you

should give it another go.

- Yeah, but you're just being

- Why don't you just take her

- facetious, come on.

- Some Turkish delight.

- I think that's the last

thing she wants the most.

It's the one thing I do know about her.

Anyway, I want to write a

book about Spain and me.

- Is that why you bought

the Laurie Lee book?

- Yeah, well, he wrote

this when he was early 50s,

but it's about when he was 18,

so it's almost exactly the same as me.

- Cervantes wrote Don

Quixote when he was 50.

50's in many ways, I think...

- No, we're at the

sweet spot in our life.

- The best age, it's the sweet spot.

You've still got, touch wood, time.

- We're ripe, we're ripe fruit.

If you hang onto the branch any longer,

you're just gonna wither on the vine,

and I won't do that.

- So what do you do then?

- Drop-

- Or do you wanna be plucked?

- You wanna be plucked, actually.

- I'd like much rather to

be plucked than dropped.

- Oh, I just caught myself.

Who's gonna want you

at this age?

- You'd be surprised.

After Philomena, this opened

a whole new sort of chapter

for me in terms of like

the way my career has gone.

All the, uh-

- Co-wrote that, didn't you?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, I always co-write.

Really I'm kinda

like, I'm the one who talks

and has all the ideas,

and the other person's

kinda like a, sort of, typist.

- Would they view it that way?

- Oh, no, I would never say

that to them personally.

But I mean, but privately.

- These reviews I write myself of course.

- That's great.

I mean, how are you gonna do it?

- We're in Spain.

I'm gonna do it like Sancho

Panza and Don Quixote.

Two middle-aged men, who

were looking for adventure.

- That's not about...

- Don Quixote, idealist, dreamer,

head in the clouds, yes.

- Yeah.

- And his solid, dependable friend.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- So what are you co-writing?

- It's called Missing.

It's about a man looking for his daughter.

- This'll be the follow-up to your film

about a woman looking for her son.

- Yeah, well, exactly, it's

the sister piece to that.

And if I do another one,

then it'll be a trilogy.

But, anyway, yeah, it's

about the two of them...

- He should be looking for something else?

You know to avoid the comparisons.

Maybe man looking for his car.

- The thing is you can do

man whose lost his car.

European filmmakers use huge, overbearing,

use thematic metaphors all the time,

so it could be a guy looking for his car,

but actually he doesn't realize.

He thinks he's looking for his car,

but actually he's looking for something

much bigger than that.

- A van.

- Yeah, but the van of life.

The van of life.

- Well?

Can we put this up?

- Can we close it?

- Come inside, come inside.

Are we going?

Ream?

Thank you.

Have you ever seen rain like this?

- Oh, yeah, I was in on a,

I got stuck in a landslide overnight

on the west side of Thirlmere.

Stuck in a landslide,

had to stay overnight

in the car for 18 hours.

- Hmm, hmm.

- I found out later I was in

the wettest spot in the country

ever recorded in history.

- You've told me this before.

Told me this before.

- Um, you, you

asked, and that was...

- No, I asked you have you ever seen

anything like this?

- Obviously, if you

ask a question like that,

you also want some details.

- If it's a story

that you've told before,

you say, yes, do you remember

that time in a landslide,

and I say, Oh, I remember.

Like a circle in a spiral

Like a wheel within a wheel

Never ending or beginning

On an ever-spinning reel

Like a snowball down a mountain

Or a carnival balloon

Like a carousel that's turning

Running rings around the moon

Like a clock whose hands are sweeping

Past the minutes of its face

And the Earth is like an apple

Whirling silently in space

Like the circles that you find

In the windmills of your mind

- You know who sang that?

- Uh, lots of people.

Dusty Springfield?

- Noel Harrison was the famous one.

Son of...

' George?

- No, Rex Harrison.

' Really?

- Yes, who sang, The Rain In Spain.

The rain in Spain

- See, see, so we're gettin'

circles within circles.

- Yeah.

- Looks like we

sailed into Switzerland.

- Hello.

- Hello, hello, uh, who's that.

- It's Jonathan, Matt's assistant.

- This is Steve Coogan for Matt, please.

- Oh, hey,

Steve, hey, yeah, um, look,

I was just gonna call you, actually,

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