The Trouble with Bliss Page #2

That'll be $5. 75, Morris.

Right.

Thanks.

I can never find my key.

Right. Trouble getting it in?

What?

Happens a lot. Sometimes

just doesn't want to go in.

Oh, uh, no. It's new.

I usually don't have trouble.

Right. Well, maybe some lube.

- Excuse me?

- The lock.

Right.

Hey, is that a good magazine?

Well, the makeup tips and

sex advice are all wrong,

but the hairstyles and how-to-lose-weight

articles are pretty good.

"Bananas cure everything

from PMS to menopause. "

I didn't know that.

Did you know that?

No, I didn't. I was

actually talking about

the travel magazine, though.

Oh. Oh, right.

It's my husband's, George's.

He never reads it.

Oh, here, have it.

I don't even know

why we get it.

You travel much?

Uh, yeah, I travel. A lot.

Or... I plan to travel.

I haven't been anywhere

yet. Soon, though.

Right. What are you doing

Sunday at five P. M. ?

Nothing... I can think of.

Great. Um...

Uh, let me ask you,

do you, uh...

Do you eat that...

what's that stuff called?

- What stuff?

- That Mexican stuff.

- Tacos?

- No, no. Tomatoes and onions.

- Comes in a bottle. It's all chopped up.

- Salsa.

Yeah, right. Salsa.

You eat salsa?

Not often...

But, yeah, I eat it.

Oh. Well, great.

You want to make 125 bucks?

Mmm... what do I have to do?

Nothing!

Oh, well, next to nothing.

I need you for a focus

group for a new salsa.

You just have to look at some

print ads and make some comments.

Sure, yeah, I could do that.

Right, right.

Um...

Troy, right?

Morris.

Uh, Morris Bliss.

Bliss.

Right.

... With wings and feathers,

birds can travel almost

anywhere they want.

What drives them to migrate?

Survival.

What guides their path?

Instinct.

Without their instincts,

they would be lost,

blown off course,

but, fortunately,

their instincts

are strong and...

Mmmm.

Yep?

We need to talk.

Stephanie?

I'm outside.

Geez. What, do you

sleep in your clothes?

Yep. I do.

What's up?

Don't worry, I'm not pregnant.

I realize things.

Now that I'm 18,

I realize things.

I realize that...

I like you a lot.

I really like this Morris and

Stephanie thing that we have,

but I realize that this,

our you-and-me,

is not gonna work out.

I have plans, you know?

You just aren't part of 'em.

I'm not a part of your plans?

Nope.

What kind of plans

are you talking about?

Owning my own Subway

sandwich shop, for one.

Be... be serious.

I am being serious.

This boy in my class,

Flabby Robbie,

his dad owns a Subway

on 23rd and 7th Avenue,

and it makes a ton of money.

He actually gets them delivered

to school for lunch.

That's how he makes

friends... free sandwiches.

That's the only reason, actually,

why people like Robbie.

He's kind of sickening.

His hands are always sticky

like he just sneezed

in them, or worse.

Oh, Christ!

What? A rat!

Is that a rat? Oh, my God!

I think that's a rat!

- Where?

- Kill it, kill it, kill it!

Stephanie, get off me!

Oh, my God!

It ran down that way.

I saw it run.

Oh, God.

I hate rats.

Worse than horny cousins,

you know...

- The way you've got to fight 'em off.

- Right.

We had this rat once in

our apartment building.

Used to hang out

in front of the door.

Used to look through the peephole

to make sure I wasn't watching.

It was like he smelled the frozen

pizzas that my dad was cooking up.

The super wouldn't do

anything about it,

so my dad, he had to put

out those sticky traps,

and then the other ones,

you know,

the kinds that snap.

But rats are smart. This one was

smart, because nothing worked.

So, one day, the rat

is scratching at the door.

My dad got so angry

that he grabbed a mop

and he went and he

killed it himself.

He killed it with a mop?

Well, he tried to.

He was naked

except for his underwear,

and the rat was sitting there with

this "what do you want?" Look.

My dad went and hit it

with the mop,

but it was one of

those sponge mops,

so it didn't really

hurt the rat that much,

and the rat went

running down the hallway.

My dad chased after it,

and he...

Gave it a good wallop,

you know, real hard.

I guess the rat got

hooked on to the mop.

The tail or something got

wrapped around the handle,

and so, as my dad

yanked at the mop,

the rat went flying up in the air,

doing flips and twists and...

I guess, for a split second,

for a tiny split second,

that rat came

face level with my dad.

Came up right here.

Looked him dead in the eye.

My dad says he's never

seen so much evil

as he saw in that rat's eyes.

And then the rat, like,

fell down the bannister

and was hitting his head,

bang-bang-bang.

When my dad went to go

look, the rat was gone.

Wow.

I probably don't mean

that much to you, do I?

Just... another girlfriend,

one of probably three

zillion that you've had.

Three zillion's

on the high end.

So...

What other plans do you have?

Oh, I have lots of plans.

None that I fit in.

No.

It's just... You don't seem.

I don't seem what?

You know, you just don't seem.

What does that mean,

"I don't seem"?

Before I forget,

I got you something, a gift.

You got me Brie?

No, it's cheese. French, I think.

It's expensive stuff.

Where'd you get it?

Mr. Charlie's.

You bought this

at Mr. Charlie's?

Well, I didn't exactly buy it.

You stole it?

Yeah. But it was because

he didn't give me change for

that 20 that you gave me.

He kept saying, "problems,

problems, no change. "

Mr. Charlie's never has change.

No change? Yeah, well,

I went in there, you know.

I made up for it. I did

a little extra shopping.

He knows who you are.

He knows I know you.

So? He stole from me first.

And besides, it's not like we're

gonna go back there again.

Okay?

Okay what?

I don't know. Just okay.

Give me a kiss.

Sure, that fits

into your plans.

I don't want

to ruin your plans.

No, no, no. I'll make you fit.

- Where you going?

- Guess what I'm thinking.

What are you thinking?

I'm thinking... That...

Maybe my plans have changed.

I'm thinking that

maybe you're part of them.

May 23rd.

What's may 23rd?

Prom. Monday, stromboli pizza.

After school. Don't forget.

Who's the girl, man?

Where you been all week?

What's with the bad tux?

You gettin' married?

No, man. And that's a blessing.

A pure blessing.

Buy me a beer?

I been riskin'

my life all week.

One beer.

Mama's, man.

Saved my life.

What the hell's a "Mama's"?

It's what saved me

from the Cindi.

Saved you from the what?

Help yourself.

It's all about economics, man.

How people spend money.

What they spend it on.

It's all about the way people

spend other people's money.

The way I'm always

buying you a beer

'cause you're always broke?

I'm not broke, man,

just frugal.

You keepin' a tab?

Like Medusa in a mirror,

the economics of Mama's

broke the curse of the Cindi.

I have no idea

what you're talking about.

Mama's is a buffet

up in Harlem.

The Cindi was my fiance.

Your fiance?

Why do you think

I got the tux, man?

I was getting married today.

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