The Trouble with Girls Page #7

but that is all right...

...because actually,

I used to be more of a dancer...

...than I was a singer.

Give it to her.

Thank you.

Carol, Willy.

You remember Carol and Willy

from our pageant.

The one responsible for all this

is Charlene, our story lady.

Compared to you,

Rasputin is Saint Francis of Assisi.

Thank you.

Using this poor child's mother like that.

Charlene, Carol and Willy

will do a number for you.

With you too, Mr. Hale.

I've gotta sober her up.

You've got about as much chance

as a snowman in the YWCA.

This kid is much better

than Lily-Jeanne.

Don't smile.

They might see your forked tongue.

Yeah. How'd you like to see the kids

do a number by themselves?

- She's getting more than anybody else.

- She's coming around nicely.

Take a deep breath.

Take a deep breath.

- How is she?

- Stand back, boys.

She's almost ready.

- Well, almost.

- I gotta give the money back.

- How much more time have we got?

- About a chorus and a half.

- She's still out of it.

- And they hung Nathan Hale.

Don't let her go, folks.

Charlene is a very colorful performer

on her own.

Thank you.

Get your claw off me, dimples.

Charlene would like to do a little song

that we made up to pass time on trains.

Why don't we do it together.

I gotta get back there.

You leave the stage and I quit.

H-E-L-P. Let's show

the nice people how we can play.

That's it. Come on.

Smile for the folks.

Up, up. That's it.

Oh, wait. Not me. No, no.

Miss Bix.

- Just keep belting her. It might work.

- Well, I can't...

But I...

I'd better not.

I don't know my own strength.

- Would you mind...?

- I'd love to.

Accompanying the children

back to the junior tent.

I hope my hatred is showing.

I told you, I quit!

Well, folks...

...looks like the big stall is over, folks.

As the iceman said

when his truck broke down:

"I can't deliver."

But I promise you...

I...

I killed Harry Wilby...

...in self-defense.

Thank you, thank you so much.

He's going to have his own show

next year and I'm going with him.

- I'd go anyplace with him.

- He'll be the best manager in the circuit.

He's probably gonna be Mr. Chautauqua.

He knows how to use anything.

He's a rat. He's immoral.

I tell you, there wasn't a dry eye

in the house.

We've got the guarantee for next year.

Absolutely. He is terrific!

Rotten, mean, ugly.

Just like Miss Boyle,

my fourth grade teacher. He's right...

Where is he? Where is he?

- Who?

- Hale. Hale. Where's Hale?

You'll miss the train.

I was hoping maybe I could talk you

into changing your mind.

I said I quit and I meant it.

- I wish you wouldn't.

- Oh, no chance, buster.

Okay, okay, kiddo.

Look, I know it looked like

I was using Miss Bix.

How could you say that?

It's the only way she could get

a fair trial in this town.

The constable admitted that to me

this morning and so did the mayor.

- My hero.

- They would have hung her.

Maybe.

No maybes, Charlie.

That poor lady.

Not anymore.

Just between us,

I gave her the senator's salary.

With a bundle like that,

they can leave town right after the trial.

- Really?

- Would I lie to you?

Yes.

What are you gonna do, Charlie?

Oh, I've got all sorts of plans.

Summer's young and...

Look, I know it's my fault.

I mean, about you quitting and everything.

You really bailed me out last night.

I couldn't have done it without you.

Well, another gold star

for my memory book.

But I still quit. Q-U-I-T.

I can't hear you.

No, but I can.

Why don't we just forget the whole thing

and you go get on the train, huh, toots?

- Now, there you go "toots-ing" me again.

- No, I'm pleading with you.

I made up my mind.

I know I'm out there...

...on that proverbial limb...

...and the tree's awfully shaky...

...but that's the way it's got to be.

I...

I checked the Equity contract

you're always quoting from...

...and you do have to pay your own fare.

And your replacement's.

First-class.

So, what I'd like to do,

I'd like to give you some money.

Just to kind of help you out,

you know, just to tide you over.

No, it's yours. Go ahead, take it.

Please.

See you.

I don't know what I've done.

- You're kidding.

- Three new, fresh, crisp $ 100 bills.

Where is she?

I sure would hate to leave somebody

like that here in Radford Center.

This is almost the end of our story...

...and it was close to the end

of Chautauqua too.

By 1934, the tattered,

big, brown Chautauqua tents...

...were folded, stored for the last time.

Chautauqua trains chugged out of town,

never to return again.

The victim of radio, the phonograph,

pictures that talked, the Model A...

...hard roads and sophistication.

Chautauqua's gone now,

but something has endured...

...something more than a memory...

...because no one who ever saw

a Chautauqua...

...will ever forget its excitement,

its fun, its joy.

In its time, it was the most

American thing about America...

...and we're not saying that.

President Theodore Roosevelt said it.

Nowadays, we just say it was the end.

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