The Tuxedo Page #8

Bring in the package

as soon as I cross.

AGENT:

Roger that.

Hustle, people.

The package is on the move.

All right, ladies and gentlemen,

it's show time.

How's our package?

I forget what to say.

But you can do this.

Focus. Go.

Huh?

Go.

AGENT:

Package dropped.

AGENT 2:

Roger. Target locked.

Jimmy, what do you say?

The name's Tong. James Tong.

I'm the man. I'm the man.

STEENA:

Del, did you tell him

to say that?

DEL:

No. Well, sort of.

Oh, God.

DEVLIN:

Come on, ladies, relax.

He's just pumping out

pheromones.

Clark, shut up.

I do believe I'm in charge

of this operation.

Package is locked on target.

Why did you wear those pants?

AGENT:

He's stopping.

- What's he stopping for?

- Why is he stopping?

DEVLIN:

Use the door, Jimmy.

AGENT:

He's really

breathing heavy now.

AGENT 2:

Have you seen her?

He's out of his league,

if you know what I mean.

Shh!

- He's like a hunter.

- It's the gallery owner.

Randall, quiet.

Nice.

Clark, please,

would you focus?

He's about to speak.

Open your mouth.

Hi.

- He said, "Hi."

- Hi.

That's the girl?

AGENT:

He came up with that on his own.

She's not that pretty.

STEENA:

Jimmy, smile, come on.

DEVLIN:

Move on to something else...

quick.

He doesn't look so good.

He doesn't look so good.

He doesn't look so good.

- Jimmy? Jimmy?

- He doesn't look so good.

Clark, give him a line.

Steena, shut up.

- Just look deep into her eyes...

- Clark, no.

That crap doesn't work...

Looks like

he's hyperventilating.

If I remember rightly,

it worked...

Don't listen to them.

Listen to me.

I can't think with you

screaming in my ear.

Everybody calm down, all right?

Not you, her.

No, no, her, her.

Look deep into her eyes...

DEL:

It's me.

...and tell her you had a dream

about her last night.

Clark, be quiet.

Del, will you shut up?

- Uh...

- (agents talking)

DEVLIN:

I hate to say this, Jimmy

but don't take advice

from women about women.

DEL:

Shut up.

STEENA:

Clark, you've been reassigned.

The voices are screaming

in my ear.

DEL:

Hey, if you can hear me

wipe that look off your face.

Remember me?

Hooters.

(agents groan)

Soul patch.

Okay, I'm going to have

to ask you to leave.

I'm the love of my life...

DEVLIN:

No, no! No, no!

You're the love of my life.

No, you never tell them

you love them, Jimmy.

Can you have... dinner with me?

Get out.

Pretty sure he craps

his pants, people.

I just want to have dinner.

Get out now.

- Lunch?

- Now!

Oh!

STEENA:

All right, we're

terminating this mission.

Pack it up and roll home.

I think I blew it, Mr. Devlin.

Jimmy, I wrote the book

on this stuff.

Trust me, you didn't blow it.

You outgrew her.

Maybe.

Tell you what.

Take the weekend off.

First thing Monday morning

we'll head for somewhere with

more interesting prospects.

How about Monte Carlo?

Sounds good.

Thanks, Mr. Devlin.

Thanks, everybody.

AGENT:

It's okay, Jimmy.

AGENT 2:

Hang in there.

AGENT 3:

Next time.

Well, if you were trying

to get her to notice you

mission accomplished.

What are you planning

for the second date?

Running at her with a knife?

It's difficult for me.

What is so hard?

You just have to say

something like...

"Excuse me, you want

to go get some coffee?"

When I around beautiful

women, I can't talk.

Sure. Beautiful women.

You know, a real knockout.

Like the beautiful lady

in the gallery.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

What?

You can't tell how I feel?

You look sad.

No.

Sick?

No.

Constipated?

No.

A little.

Tell me, what's wrong?

It's just no guy would ever

do anything for me

like what you did for her.

Or tried to do.

You know why?

Because you are

a pain in the butt.

Yeah, nice working

with you, too.

Hello.

Delilah, excuse me.

You want to have a coffee?

I only drink organic green tea.

(imitates buzzer)

Wrong answer.

You're never going

to have a boyfriend.

Fine.

Coffee. I love coffee.

You learn quick.

Is that your happy face

or your horny face?

I tell you later.

One, two, three, four

(James Brown's "Get Up"

begins)

Get up

Getty-get, get-get-get get on up

Get on up

Get up now

Getty-get, get-get-get...

James. James...

Tong...

(giggling)

Get-get-get get on up...

Cut.

Get up now

Getty-get, get-get-get on up

Oh...

Couldn't tell you

what I'm about to say.

(grunting)

Purse!

(crew laughs)

Cut.

I'm sorry.

Huh?

(laughing)

The bird hit the guy.

Huh?

WOMAN:

Is this a bunch of crap.

Is this a bunch crap?

Bunch of crap.

Okay.

You think I'm speak

very good English, huh?

What's in your head,

flies out your mouth.

What's in your head,

fly from your mouth.

What's in your mouth...

That's okay. Cut.

No wonder.

This is why

you don't have a boyfriend.

That's...

(laughter)

That's... thought...

Frog?

Fraud.

(giggling)

Look at...

Look at her ugly face.

Every time I look...

Every time, she just like this.

How can I act?

- Can we do a single on me?

- No.

Action!

Aah...

No, no, no.

Cut! Cut!

(grunting)

Let's follow 'em.

They'll take us to the lab.

Who?

(giggling)

Let's...

(laughing)

Cut.

I got the happy partner

over here.

Jimmy.

What do you...?

(laughing)

(crew laughing)

She smile the whole movie.

Waste of film, waste of time.

What is she doing?

Hit me!

Oh, no!

You're fast.

But I'm faster.

Good God!

(espionage-flavored

techno-pop theme playing)

DREAMWORKS PICTURES

Captioned by

access. Wgbh. Org

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