The War of the Roses Page #7

to do strenuous exercise.

Good advice, especially

if you have respiratory problems.

Sara Murphy is at the Pentagon...

..with a report on whether women

still find uniforms sexy for men.

So far, it was a pretty normal

divorce scenario.

A few bruises, some broken dishes,

a pissed-on fish.

But I think you should have

a drink for this next part.

There are two dilemmas...

that rattle the human skull.

-

How do you hold onto someone

who won't stay?

And how do you get rid of someone

who won't go?

I opened a great old one, to let it breathe.

You look beautiful.

- I feel good.

- I do, too.

The Larrabee confirmation hearing

went very well today.

I was surprised, happily surprised,

by your invitation.

Thank you for the wine.

I hope it's not poisoned.

Same here.

- We've made a mess of things, Oliver.

- We sure have.

- I want to start living a normal life again.

- I do too, Barbara.

Sitting here like this,

it's... it's hard to believe we can't be happy.

We can be happy... just not together.

I want to ask you one last time to leave.

I can't do that. I won't.

You make so much money, Oliver.

You can buy another house

and replace everything.

Except you.

You may find this hard to believe...

but I still love you.

I still...

..want you.

- I find it hard to believe.

- What you can't believe is I don't want you.

Well, I... Yeah, I have

a problem with that. I mean,...

..I think I'm a good person, as people go...

What can we do to patch things up?

- I don't know.

- Tell me.

- I can't.

- Please.

- I don't know.

- Please tell me. Please?

- Just tell me.

- Stop it!

I guess you don't wanna talk about it.

No, I don't wanna talk about it.

Oliver,...

..if you don't get out of here now,

you have no idea how far I'll go.

How far? Tell me.

We've been horrible to each other,

but we had something - we still do.

We haven't passed any point of no return.

- I have.

- I'm not convinced.

Nobody who makes pt this good

can be all bad.

-

That depends on what the pt is made of.

Woof.

Bennie?

A good dog to the last bite.

Goddamn you!

Jesus Christ!

-

-

I'll give you the chandelier.

-

Barbara?

Sh*t!

You can't get out!

I'm gonna find you, sweetness.

I know this house too well!

Where the hell is she?

-

-

I guess I'm on top now. And you're helpless.

I can do anything I want.

Stop it! I mean it! Stop it!

-

Oh! Oh, God. Oh, you smell so dirty-sweet.

Oh, Barbie... Oh, we need this, Barbie. Yeah...

No, don't talk!

Don't talk. Oliver,...

..I want to say hello to the

bald avenger. Please.

You haven't called him that in years.

-

Oh, Barbara! Oh, Barbara! Oh!

Oh, yes!

-

Oh, Barbara... Ba...

-

Oh, God! Agh!

Was it as good for you as it was for me?

-

-

-

-

Oh, what's going on here?

-

Oh!

-

Oh, I'm sorry.

I thought you were Barbara.

Mr Rose, what's going on here? Are you OK?

I'm... I'm fine. Fine.

Listen, Susan,...

..I'm in the middle of something now.

I... I... I really can't talk about it.

Let me get the door for you.

- Is Mrs Rose all right?

- Yes, she's fine.

Where is she? Is she OK?

You're sure she's all right?

Barbara. Susan's here!

- She wants to know if you're OK.

- Never better.

Thank you for dropping by, Susan.

Come outside with me, Mr Rose.

Let's go.

Wait a minute. I forgot something.

What?

- Barbara.

- No!

- Mr Rose! Mr Rose!

Oh, no!

Oh, mein Gott. Mrs Rose!

-

-

Only you

Can

Can

What fresh hell is this?

Only

you

Can

Hi.

I brought you a surprise.

Nah-nah na nah-nah na

You are a jerk.

I'll tell you what.

You say it's mine...

..and you can have everything in this house.

OK.

It's mine.

- Barbara.

Barbara! Barbara, I'm sorry.

Are you all right? You OK?

You OK?

Well, well, well!

I'd be glad to help you...

in exchange for the house.

No.

Please don't break

the terrazzo floor when you land.

Oh! That's better.

I'm gonna save you whether you like it or not.

That won't work.

It's too heavy. It'll pull you off.

It'll work.

-

Oliver!

Almost.

All right. All right.

I think I can swing this over to the balcony.

- Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

- What?

I loosened the bolt.

I was gonna drop it on you.

Ooh! Ooh, that's a good one.

Gavin! Gavin!

- Gavin...

- Uh, Susan, let me stop the car first!

Thank God you're here!

I thought you'd never arrive.

They're in there. They're over the edge!

I guess at this point, there's no

reason to be anything but absolutely honest.

Through all that's happened...

I always loved you.

I know.

And through all this,...

..you loved me too, didn't you?

-

Get that, would you, Oliver?

- No?

- No, no. OK, we go in.

Oh, mein Gott.

Oliver! Barbara!

- Gavin!

- Gavin!

- Gavin, get a ladder!

- OK!

I knew everything would be all right.

-

Gavin!

- Gavin!

- Gavin!

-

We're gonna be all right.

you see those two wires?

Yeah.

Each of them can hold... at least 200 pounds.

-

We're coming!

Mein Gott. They are dead.

-

Some story, huh?

What's the moral?

Other than dog people should marry

dog people and cat people, cat people.

I don't know.

It could be just this:

..a civilised divorce

is a contradiction in terms.

Maybe because of what happened,

I've become too traditional.

Maybe it's not natural

to stay married to one person for life.

My parents did it.

A few of 'em good!

So, look. Here it is.

We can begin.

When it comes to your wife,...

..I'm going to urge you to be generous

to the point of night sweats.

The all-important thing is to get you through

this as quickly and cleanly as possible...

..so that you can begin rebuilding your life.

OK?

Or...

..you can get up...

..and go home,...

..and try to find some shred...

..of what you once loved

about the sweetheart of your youth.

It's your life.

Take a minute.

Hi, what are you doing?

I'm coming home. Love you. Bye.

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