The Way Ahead Page #5

---

Quick as lightning you ought to be.

Come on, Brewer, get some of that fat off!

Get over!

Come on, Parsons! You can do it, lad!

Use your brains. What's

the matter with you?

Swing across! Don't fall!

Brewer, double up, double up!

Come on, Parsons.

Right. You can use the mobile canteen.

- What about it, Sergeant Fletcher?

- Not bad, sir. Not bad at all.

Parsons held them up a bit

at the second obstacle.

- What is the matter with him?

- I don't quite know, sir.

Something's wrong. No grousing at all.

As if there was something on his mind.

"Tomorrow he'll be saying please."

- I only said what I heard.

- Well, you heard wrong.

It's like I always said... Oh!

The officer seemed to be enjoying the fun.

Grinning he was. I saw him.

"Things have got to be different."

That's what he said.

- Oh, shut up.

- Well, I've come to a conclusion.

- What's that?

- I don't like the Army.

- Two flans, two teas.

- Razor blades?

Sorry, no razor blades. Yes?

Tea, please. And a piece of Swiss roll.

All right, pay attention.

Go on eating.

Oh, here he comes.

He can't leave us alone for a minute.

I'm supposed to organise this regimental

concert and I shall badly need some help.

So, if any of you can play anything, dance, sing,

pull things out of hats, can I have your names?

I shall need all the help I can get.

- I do recitations. Shall I put my hand up?

- You do and I'll clock you.

Well, think it over and let me know.

Well, I nearly got knocked

down by the rush.

Oh, they'll be all right, sir.

Why don't you want to help him?

He won't help us. Why should we help him?

You don't seem to be having a very good

time. Don't you ever get into town?

Occasionally, but there's only one cinema

and we've seen the film this week.

Why don't you come over to tea?

- Oh, yes, please.

- When?

- Sunday.

- What, all of us?

- Well...

- If we keep it down to seven.

All right.

- What time?

- Four? Half past?

- Four.

- Who do we ask for?

Marjorie Gillingham.

Number 12 Ellmore Street.

12 Ellmore Street.

Right. Fall in.

- All right, we'll find it.

- Goodbye.

See you Sunday!

Ring the bell.

Steady. She may be looking

out of the window.

Oh, hello, chaps.

Mrs Gillingham?

That's right. Come in, boys.

How many of you are there?

- Just the seven, Sergeant.

- Oh, quite a party.

- Last man in, shut the door, will you?

- OK, Sergeant.

Charming house you have here.

Bit of a change after our barrack room.

Less congestion.

Yeah, more room, too.

Sit down anywhere.

Mrs Gillingham will be down in a minute.

How are you liking the Army?

- Need you ask?

- I expect you'll get over that.

Been in long?

- Seven weeks. Seems like years.

- I know.

- What are you in? Bombers?

- No, fighters.

- On leave?

- Sick leave.

- You're lucky.

- We could do with a bit of that.

- How do you wangle it?

- Were you really sick?

Well, shot up a bit.

Oh, but I'm all right now, though.

See this wristwatch?

Amazing. It landed five

miles from where I did.

They told me it was still going

when they picked it up.

Some farmer chap found it. Bit of luck, eh?

Of course, I didn't really mean...

Hello. So, you got here all right.

Mother will be down in a minute.

Come on, Buster.

Hurry or we'll miss the beginning.

Well, so long, boys. Going to see that Merchant

Navy picture. Marvellous job those chaps do.

And they don't wear a uniform. Come on.

Goodbye.

- Bye.

- Bye.

I wish we wore uniforms with a collar and

tie. This makes you feel like a convict.

Well, what do you think you are?

Oh, how do you do?

I'm Marjorie's mother.

I'm so glad she persuaded

you to come along.

The boys in the battalion before you

always used to come.

Oh, thank you so much.

So did the boys from the ack-ack battery,

until they moved.

I always say, if Marjorie can have her canteen,

I don't see why I shouldn't have mine.

Now, do sit down, please, all of you.

There, that's right.

Yes, that's the comfortable chair.

And you can put your plate

on the table there.

This is extremely kind

of you, Mrs Gillingham.

That's right. Oh, dear.

I'm afraid this place is rather untidy,

but this house is really too big for me.

Now, do make yourselves at home.

Well, and how do you like the Army?

We don't.

Oh, dear, what a pity. Now, hands up

for China tea and hands up for Indian.

And then what does he do? He has us

marching till our feet are nearly bleeding.

I tell you he's a proper b...

A very nasty fellow.

And the officer just smiled and then asked

for volunteers for the camp concert.

Both the sergeant and the officer

are as bad as each other, Mrs Gillingham.

That's right, ma'am. It's true.

Oh, dear, it is a shame, isn't it?

Who'd like another chocolate biscuit?

Well, they haven't taken your appetite

away from you.

The food's not good enough for that,

Mrs Gillingham.

Terrible. Since we've been in the Army,

we haven't had a proper bath.

- Well, a shower's quicker.

- Shut up.

You can always have one here

if you bring your towels.

Only, let me know in time.

I have such trouble with the boiler.

Oh? What do you burn?

What sort of boiler is it?

I could probably show you a saving. I'll pop

in sometime and have a look at it for you.

I wish you would. Marjorie's friend Buster

couldn't do anything with it,

and, naturally,

he knows all about engines and things.

You poor lads. Your life

sounds terribly gloomy.

It is, Mrs Gillingham, it is.

But you said just now

you have concerts and things.

Yes, if we do the acting.

There was a boy in the ack-ack

used to recite a lot.

There was one poem -

The Lynching Of Black Maguire.

How did it start?

It was hot that summer in Kicking Horse...

And the earth was parched and dry.

Full of geographical licence,

but exciting stuff.

- Good old Sid. Why don't you volunteer?

- Maybe I will.

- You know what I told you.

- Och, away, Ted. Let him do it if he wants to.

Well, I thought I was joining the Army,

not a circus.

It's time we went. There's

that fire picket.

Do come again next week,

and, don't forget, bring your towels.

- You're not going already, are you?

- They've got to fire-watch.

Now, don't you let the

other boys bully you.

If you want to volunteer for the concert,

you jolly well do.

- Try it again without holding it.

- Right, sir.

Close them.

Now open.

Oh, that's perfect.

Everything all right?

Yes, thank you, sir. We had a lot of trouble

with the curtains, but they're working now.

Old Colonel Walmsley's coming over

and bringing a band,

and he's also going to do some monologues.

He's been very helpful, sir.

Well, the brigadier's coming.

What are our men doing?

Well, Cook Sergeant Trubshaw

is going to do his bird noises, sir.

- Beck in my platoon's going to do something.

- Good.

"It was hot that summer in Kicking Horse,

and the earth was parched and dry."

- Why parched and dry?

- It's parched and dry.

"And the town was full..."

Get on with it, Sid. The

exercise starts tomorrow.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes