The Wedding Party Page #11

Hey!

This is the first day

of the rest of my life!

And you are all supposed

to be here to support me.

To be my wedding

party, but instead

the boys are fighting,

Lisa's whoring around again,

and Bethanie...

I don't even know

what's up with you.

Now obviously I expected

more from tonight,

but I really expected

more from me to you.

I never asked you to be perfect,

but I had hoped that

when times got tough

and when I was

feeling vulnerable

that someone would

be here for me.

Have I not been here

for each of you?

Wait, wait.

Margene, wait.

Look, I'm sorry.

Okay?

We're all sorry.

We're gonna do better.

Quentin and Lisa.

You two can fight or f***

or whatever verb you choose,

just do it to each other

and leave us out of it.

Skyler...

You look great, man.

Thanks James, appreciate it.

I think you need to throw up.

Bethanie, I think you

need to throw up again,

so maybe you guys

can help each other

find a bathroom.

What, Colt?

Well you left me out, so...

I'm ready.

Don't touch anything, don't

f*** anything else up.

Come on man, hey.

Hey, hold on, hear me out Jim.

Can I go on Greta duty?

I wanna go on Greta duty.

- You'll do that?

- Yeah.

I'm gonna do that.

Day and night until

I find that ring.

What?

I'm gonna roll my sleeves up

figuratively and literatively,

until I find that ring.

Don't worry about it,

that'd be awesome man.

Scrubbed in, ready for surgery.

Great, okay, well.

Look, let's just go find Paul.

Thank you.

So...

You know Paul

better than anyone.

What's going on with him?

I think he's just freaked

out about the future, his job,

losing his friends.

You guys have lost touch.

I still should've

been the best man.

Oh come on.

He had to choose his brother.

So you're not his best man,

you're his best friend.

Nah, you are.

Like you said in your

toast, you're caught.

My toast?

Come on, I am a 4th

grade English teacher,

I know when boys cheat

off each other's homework.

Look, in the future if Paul does

anymore stupid sh*t...

If...

Paul does.

All right, when he does...

You can come to me for

advice, I'd like that.

I have some advice for you.

Alex is amazing.

Don't give up on her.

Promise?

So, Paul could be anywhere.

Hey.

Oh jeez.

We have to talk.

I know, just...

Not right here.

Okay.

I'm cutting in.

Look, I'm crazy about you,

and I think you know that.

Okay, Jim...

no, I was gonna make

a big show of it too,

but grand gestures,

they're not real.

Didn't matter how

I asked you to prom

if I didn't dance with you.

So what, you're trying to

make up for the past or...

no, no, I can't go

back and edit life,

it just keeps moving

forward, never pausing.

And Zeb...

Oh, I'm what?

Zeb's an a**hole.

If you cared about him at

all, you would leave him.

His douchebaggery is

just a byproduct of you

validating his behavior.

Oh, big words.

What do you want from me?

I want a dance, and

I want to take you

to dinner tomorrow night,

and I want you to not be

afraid of what's ahead

because love doesn't

disappoint, he does.

Alex.

We should be together.

That's all.

Well that guy's a dick.

I need to be alone for a while.

Wait, babe.

Babe, wait!

Alex!

Hey...

Can I just get like, one water?

Make that two.

Hi.

What?

Oh, you don't wanna...

Let's just say I'm lucky

you can't get

diseases from a bird.

Okay, um...

So about before.

I know, that must've been

quite the shock for you,

and I can explain.

Oh, and I knew.

And we all knew, like

literally everybody

that you know knew.

But you could've told me.

Cause you're my best friend.

Yeah.

Which is why...

I am so sorry that I

said that I liked you

because that was really weird.

No, hey, hey,

Bethanie don't do that.

No, no, no, I thought

that was sweet,

and honestly I need

to tell you that...

okay Skyler hey

listen, I don't like you.

I mean, I can't like you.

I was hung up on you

for a really long time,

but I think that I

had to get it out loud

to finally realize that

we want different things.

You want to sleep with

random girls and that's okay.

But I want a man.

I want a man that wants me.

Cool.

All right.

Yeah.

I'm gonna go throw up now.

So...

Oh hey, Bethanie.

Yeah?

Everyone knew?

Everyone but you.

Thanks.

We need to make

time for each other.

I know.

Paul...

Where were you tonight?

Just had to do some thinking.

And?

And I decided

that I want to spend the

rest of my life by your side,

and making you happy...

And praying those

are the same things.

I can't have you running off...

I know.

- I know, I know.

- Because I'm pregnant.

And I've really...

Just wait.

Wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait.

Paul.

Wait.

Please just wait.

That...

That is the greatest thing

I've ever heard in my life.

We're gonna be a family.

I'm gonna be a father...

You're having a baby?

No, no, no, no, I am

absolutely terrified, trust me.

But good, this is the single

greatest moment of my life.

Right here.

I mean I get to...

And can you download the baby

books on kindle right now?

And can you fly?

We haven't thought about this,

I don't think we should fly,

here's what we're gonna do.

I got a new plan listen

to me, no I'm serious.

We're gonna go home,

we are going to eat,

we're gonna eat again,

some more, a lot of food,

on kindle because I have

this Amazon gift card

that my uncle Sully...

And I think we should go

and spend some time together

on our honeymoon.

Also, we're gonna

need to pretend like

we made this there...

- Right, right.

- So.

Conceived.

Conceived the first

time we made love.

How poetic.

How perfect.

Hello.

What is...

Oh...

Your chariot.

Where did you...

Wait, I thought

we're like waiting

for all like the guests

and the rice and...

bubbles, and it's

not about them,

it's about you guys and it

is exactly time for you guys

to hit the road,

so get out of here.

Listen.

Thank you for

everything tonight.

I'm sorry it all went to sh*t.

No, you know what?

The honeymoon will be perfect.

Yeah.

Hey.

I don't really need

this anymore, so...

Why don't you take

it for the honeymoon?

I will have yours

ready and sanitized

when you get back.

What?

No, don't worry about it.

Okay.

Wife.

Oh my gosh.

Husband.

I don't even...

Know how to...

I'll see you in a few weeks.

All right.

Have fun.

Will do.

Thank you.

Of course.

Go get her.

They grow up so

fast, don't they?

Hey.

So...

I feel like we're not

done with this binder

and there's some things

in here that we missed

and should you

know, go back and...

So, where's Zeb?

With a very nice large

to go order of fish.

Sometimes we just

have to move on.

Have I turned you

into a romantic?

Man I don't know, two hours ago

you definitely were not.

Yeah, that's...

It's been a weird night.

Yeah.

Oh my god, you weren't

on the tennis court.

And then Quentin showed up

and pulled off his toupee.

Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim.

Shut the f*** up, kiss my face.

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