The Wedding Party Page #2

followed by Skyler and Bethanie,

Jim and myself, then Colt.

Yeah, hey.

Am I flying solo

now or do I have to

bring this bird?

That is all yours.

Then the lovely bride

and groom, we got this.

Let's do this, people.

All right.

Ladies first.

Don't tell me

what to do, Quentin.

Hey, Lisa.

Oh no I see, if she

tells you, then you know.

Can you just smile?

Just smile.

God, I hate you.

Look at this.

Yeah.

Are you kidding me?

First reception as a

groomsman, it is awful.

Gosh, I've been to

a million of these

and they are all the same.

Just a bunch of people

asking you questions,

and I don't know

why they ask you,

it's none of their business.

And then the cake comes out

and I want a second piece

is it the right thing to

do to have another piece?

I don't know, it just makes me...

no, no, I know, I know, I know,

you hate these things,

but this one's

gonna be different,

you know, we're together.

Yeah?

Yeah.

You can be my wingman.

Skyler and Bethanie!

I just can't believe

they actually got married.

I know, it's crazy.

No, no, like really

married, with a ring

and a cake and a house.

Actually they

have none of things.

Okay true, but they have that

and now, Jim and Alex.

Things have just changed a lot.

Not all things.

I said Jim and Alex!

Okay.

There we go.

Hey, let's stick

together tonight.

Yes.

- Awesome.

- Absolutely.

Great.

Oh sh*t, be right back.

What?

And now, the best man, Colton.

And the maid of honor, Greta.

Come on, Colt and Greta,

yeah, there we go, nice!

And now, I proudly present

our bride and groom.

Paul and Margene, yeah!

Nice!

Nope, f*** it.

Hello everyone...

Whoa!

Hi.

Hi, sorry.

It is time for the buffet,

so if you can just line up

in an orderly fashion please.

Thank you.

That was good.

Shut up.

Yeah.

Shut up.

Okay wait, don't

shut up, I'm lying.

Can you please continue

to tell me about this

la life of yours?

You are editing movies?

Yeah, well more

like corporate videos,

the occasional web

series, but yeah.

That's great, and

I heard that you were

dating somebody?

Absolutely, I actually

proposed like two weeks ago.

Jim, that's amazing.

Oh no, she said no

so I'm single again.

Best thing about

getting married?

Seriously, we just

skip the whole line?

Things are turning around.

Paul?

Hey, aunt Sylvia,

I want you to meet

my new wife, Margene.

We were hoping

to speak with you.

We're just starving, maybe

once we sit down to eat.

Do you know the ceremony started

an hour and five minutes late?

So I had gout last year.

Oh, wow.

Hey Colton, can I

please get some food?

Yeah, workin on that bro.

How do you plan on

eating all of that salami?

With my mouth.

Oh.

Well, that Rapunzel.

That's...

I don't think we

got a chance to meet

at the rehearsal.

I'm Skyler.

Probably heard that

name tossed around.

You're Margene's

friend, from college.

Yeah, Lisa.

Lisa.

Don't believe anything she says.

Not even her name?

Sorry, you guys know each other?

Yeah, we used to date.

Oh.

That's cool, you guys are...

Still friends and

doing that and...

Well you still talk,

that's something.

We actually haven't spoken since

we broke up three months ago.

Okay, I'm gonna let

you guys catch up...

oh, three months, wow.

I guess time only flies

when you're having fun.

Okay.

To make a long

story short, you know,

she shows up at the Meadow,

both our families are there,

my grandmother

wheels herself out,

looks up at the sky and is like

"oh my god, what

the hell is that?"

I come down in a parachute,

I rip off my gear,

and I'm wearing a tux.

Thanks, this tux, actually.

Anyway, she moved

out the next day,

said I was moving too fast.

Now she is Facebook

official with some guy

named Weston Hancock.

God, I hate Facebook.

That was also the last

time I ever saw my memaw.

You and Timmy have

been going out, hm?

I'm sure he'd like to know.

No need to do that, okay.

Really don't care.

Okay, fine, four months.

Four months?

But that doesn't make

mathematical sense...

more perfect than you, yeah.

Hey, what's going on up there?

Your little porn addiction?

No, it's erotic cinema,

and I'm an aficionado.

It's erotica, what?

Dude, let's go,

what's the hold up?

The chicken's not out yet,

and I don't do well with fish,

and it's a weird

color, and if I can't...

this girl's talking a lot!

Hey, hey, Bethanie,

what's going up there?

Hey, I'm waiting

for the chicken.

What?

Just get the fish,

it's healthier.

It's healthier.

- It's good for you.

- Sh*t's good for you.

Please, would you get the

fish for me, Bethanie, come on.

Okay, okay, fine,

I'll get the fish.

Please.

Fish, yeah!

Thank you.

Hold on, one more slice.

Pollo, no you missed out, Pollo.

Excuse me, is that chicken?

There we go.

Hi.

Hey, you got the fish.

I got the fish.

I love fish.

I don't know how you do it.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Damn Jim, I'm really sorry.

Yeah, thanks.

No, no, it really sucks.

It's like you think your life

is going in one direction

and then all of a sudden...

I'm just gonna say it,

your ex-girlfriend,

she's a c*nt, she is.

Did you just use the c word?

Ms. Sylvia, hi!

I did, yeah, you know,

it's actually a term

of endearment now

that us young people use.

Yeah, we reclaimed

it so it's super hip.

And let me tell you,

you look great tonight

you c*nt, so great.

I also broke up with

my boyfriend recently.

Oh, I'm sorry.

No, he was a liar and

I couldn't trust him

and we shouldn't

focus on those people.

We should focus

on this reception,

so do you wanna maybe help

me with all this tonight?

I...

I should probably work

on my toast, so...

You wrote a toast?

Yes I did.

Oh, okay.

Well, I can't wait to

here it cause it'll

probably be pretty perfect, so.

Colt, I am

famished, where's my food?

Oh, too late baby bro.

Hey, garcon.

Hi, do you think I could

get like a dinner plate

with some food?

It's buffet style, man.

Seriously man, I'm the

groom, I just got married.

That's your problem.

Got an imaginary friend?

Hey, no, sorry, just

going over my speech.

I totally forgot to tell you.

What?

I'm so sorry...

We decided to only

go with speeches from

the best man and maid

of honor to save time.

Oh...

You know what?

If you have something

you want to say,

no, no, no, it's not a big

deal, I get it, it's fine.

Don't worry about it.

What are you doing, Colt?

Uh, making wine out of...

I mean wine out of water.

Okay, you're just like

pouring your wine into your...

it's the last supper Jim, look.

Yeah, I get it.

Well it took you a long time.

Hey, what do you

have for a speech?

Oh, yeah, speech.

I don't know, probably wing it.

That's what I'm good

at, tell a few stories

about how Paulito and I

used to get schwasted.

Right.

Look.

Just try this on for size.

Thanks, apostle Jim.

Lifetime of that.

Where is the food?

Oh, okay.

Speeches, hey, Greta.

It's time for speeches.

Maybe eat something first?

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