The Week Of Page #11

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I... I had to make the whole thing

about me.

Instead of, uh...

...just the wedding. I just...

I didn't wanna

have to think about...

About what, Dad?

About...

This is the last thing

I'm ever gonna get to do for you.

I'm losin' you.

Dad, you're not.

Yeah, no, I am. I am. It's okay.

It's how it works. It's a crappy system.

But he's such a good kid.

He's the best, and I'm sorry.

And I'm sorry to both of you guys.

You deserve better than what I gave you.

I love you so much. Thank you.

Thank you for saying that.

You'll never lose me.

And I'll take you over any fancy place.

Come on, you guys. We gotta get going.

What? All right, where's the fire exit?

No, we gotta take the wedding pictures.

- Are you insane?

- No, they found a room without a fire.

Sir, we'll get it done quickly.

Can you guys get it together?

Okay, yeah, absolutely.

I'm sorry, uh...

Just give me one more try.

I don't think I've ever seen

Dad cry before.

Mike Piazza's retirement.

- Come on, guys. We'll put it here.

- Where's it go?

Take 'er down. Take it.

Take it. There.

All right, come on. You wanna turn. Yup.

We got the brakes. This way!

I got three plates.

Here we go! Here we go!

Hey, come on. Get some of this.

Hey, how's it goin'?

Lookin' good. Lookin' good.

Hey, look who made it, man! You made it!

Just roll with it.

- Hey, what's up?

- All right, good to see you, man.

Thanks for having us.

Sir, I see you really love your queens.

Big laugh.

Ladies and gentlemen,

boys and girls of all ages,

the time is nigh.

Watch and marvel

as the bride and groom partake

in their first dance.

Sarah, 23 years ago,

your great-grandmother, Yetta,

recorded this

just for this night,

knowing she would most certainly be dead.

Cue video.

This is for my little Sarah.

May you have a blessed marriage.

That's... That's the woman in the painting

I said looks like you.

No. I don't know

what you're talking about.

And now, moms and dads,

join us in this wondrous ritual.

- That's a good boy you raised there.

- You helped.

You did about eighty percent.

Eighty-five.

- You're a good woman.

- Thank you.

And I love taking care of you.

And I love taking care of Ignacio.

He's like a foreign kid I get to sponsor.

Hey, Ignacio,

come and take your queen.

I'm gonna find my princess.

Did I tell you I love you this week?

Because I do.

Uh, you might've said it a couple times.

Ah, less than usual.

That's... That's not right.

Are you happy? Or just drunk?

Ah! Both. I don't know.

This is just perfect.

Oh, and the drizzled peanut brittle

was incredible.

- Oh. You're not just saying that?

- Oh.

Mmm. Totally worth the salmonella.

And now,

join us as we welcome in that most tender

of traditions,

the father-daughter dance.

We never picked a song. I... I...

I've got you.

You went with Billy Joel,

even though I was a...

Yeah, even when...

Very good.

You weren't making fun

of Billy Joel there, were you?

No, Dad, just you.

- Ah. That's okay.

- Yeah.

- I'm sorry. I guess I miss my dad.

- Mmm-hmm.

You used to grope your dad's ass?

You're sick.

You're not at the party.

- You're not drunk.

- I'm not drunk.

I'm just staying here with my parents

till I find a place that I like.

- Uh-huh. Where's your room?

- Upstairs.

Give me, like, 30 seconds to clean up,

and then I'll, uh...

- What's up? Everybody went to bed?

- Hey.

Yeah, at 5:
00 in the morning.

Okay, so... What time do you think

they're getting up?

I mean, we only need four for Parcheesi.

I think they're probably sleeping

for the rest of the day.

Yeah, but come on.

When are we gonna ever have

the family together like this?

I don't know. Thanksgiving?

You're right. But this time we're gonna

do it at my house in St. Lucia.

St. Lucia? Whoa.

I mean, that is an amazing offer.

If we're doing that,

I better look into flights now.

No, pally, I got it all.

- It's all me. I got everything.

- No, listen...

If I book this far in advance,

I can get a decent price.

I'm gonna get us a jet.

A... Well, if you're doing that,

you gotta at least let me

split the cost of the fuel.

- You don't want that.

- Well, okay. Chinese food?

- Can I bring Chinese food for the flight?

- Yes.

- Can I at least do that?

- You can bring Chinese food.

I like... I like orange chicken.

You know, I hear if you buy it

five months in advance, it's pretty cheap.

Uh... Oh, get out of here.

Okay. Very good.

Very good.

I want grandkids.

Yeah, well, we can't rush 'em. You know?

- It'll happen.

- No, no.

I... I wanna hold 'em

and... And change their diapies

and just squeeze 'em

and sing silly kids' songs to 'em.

Siri! What's a kids' song?

"Wheels on the Bus"

is a kids' song.

Did I... No.

You're singing "Old MacDonald."

Oh, sorry about that. Uh...

You've lost your mind.

I'm going to sleep.

Good night... doublet.

DJ Khaled!

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