The Week Of Page #6

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that close to the wheel?

Yeah, it's good. This way I'm closer

to the button. It's...

Yeah, but you go full leg

in the other car.

- Yeah.

- Okay.

Uh, whose room are we goin' to?

- Uh, your daughter's room. And...

- My ex mother-in-law.

- Seymour's up!

- Come on.

- Incredible. All right.

- Seymour's up!

- Goodbye. Goodbye, already.

- He has to go!

Hey, he has to go!

So, it's... The leak's just spreading now.

This is because of the doctor's suite

the workers had to fix.

- Okay.

- Oh! It's all about the doctor now?

Same doctor that found the tumor

on your CAT scan.

Stage two. Big-ass deal.

Beat it, dumped on it, moved on.

Uh, and the hotel's completely booked?

It is squishy.

Oh, yeah! You heard the squishy noise.

And it made you laugh more.

You know, I can get you guys a lifeguard

or move you into a nicer place

till they fix this.

- No!

- No!

We don't need your nice place, Dad.

I'm not gonna be separated

from the family. I value family.

Okay, okay.

I hear the squish.

There's plenty of families staying

at our house, including your father.

You're welcome to join us.

Thank you. That sounds fine.

These sweaters I'd laid out got leaked on.

I expect to be compensated.

Oh. We'll work on that. Ah...

Until then, there's something else

I can do for you ladies.

Parcheesi?

You never heard of

Parcheesi, Marvin?

It's more fun than it looks!

It's from an old Indian game.

The Parcheesi tribe, I think.

Is that right, Ma?

I never heard that one.

'Cause that's not true. At all.

Okay, Mr. Know-It-All.

Look it up.

Yeah, he won't look it up,

'cause he knows you're right.

Dad, where do we put these?

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Everyone, look at this.

My kids are actually helping

for the first time in their lives.

- Oh, stop it.

- Congratulations.

Take it to the office,

where Dr. Cortice was gonna sleep.

Okay, yeah. You take those there.

- Is that where we're gonna be tonight?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dr. Cortice, you can take our bedroom.

I never sleep anyway.

No, she'll vacuum all night long.

You'll hear that.

- Hey, how come...

- It's my guilty pleasure.

How come nobody sleeps down here, though?

It's nice, the game room, right?

It's just the asbestos.

It's fine for a couple of hours,

but not a whole night.

- What?

- No, it's good in moderation.

In moderation it's fine.

Okay, so, Kelly and me were thinking,

"What has never been done before?"

And then it hits us, boom.

We come out and do

a whole evolution of dance thing.

Right, like, we start with the disco

and then we go all the way to the Whip

and the Nae Nae.

Isn't this supposed to be,

like, 20 seconds?

Okay, please don't be jealous,

this is Sarah's time.

So, we come out

in our John Travolta jackets and...

What happened to your face?

Oh, my God, is that an allergy?

What're you doing?

Ah, I'm coming over.

Me and Iris have to finish our game

of gin rummy. We're tied.

Fun.

Well, we were just about to hit up

the Noodle Bar in Syosset,

sit outside the bathroom and rate the guys

as they come out.

Or I saw online,

there's this stretching class.

- Oh, yes!

- So, Sarah needs to decompress

and it is RumChata shot night, okay?

Kelly, get the bags.

Is this your going-out clothes?

I only have three shirts.

- I like that one.

- Yeah, thank you.

Nine, ten, eleven, twelve!

You have another move.

- Fourteen.

- What now?

Well, it says in the rules,

if you roll a doublet,

you get to move

what's on the other side of the dice.

- A doublet?

- I never played that way. Opposites?

We're good. Thanks anyway, Doublet.

Doublet.

Doublet.

Morgan!

Get to business, Morgan! Come on!

- Hello?

- Hey, what's up, girl?

"Girl"? What do you want, Kirby?

Well, you know, I figured

since we're in the same city and all,

you know, maybe I could come over and...

We're in the same city all the time. LA.

Yeah, but our baby's getting married.

You know? That baby we made together?

Mmm-mmm.

I'm here with Ignacio.

I'll see you at the rehearsal dinner.

Well, you know, I just thought maybe

you might wanna hang out

with a grown-up for a change.

That's all.

Are you really trying to booty call me

just so that you could get out of

that house with all your relatives?

Booty call? Why would you even go there?

You think I don't talk

to my mother? Doublet.

Doublet? That's the rules!

Those are the actual rules of the game!

I got all the grown-up I need

right here.

Thank you.

What's up, man?

- I'm all right.

- F***ing Lakers.

Yeah.

Uh-huh. We'll see you Friday.

I'm in control,

I'm in control. I'm in control.

I'm a good person. I'm a good person.

I have dreams.

I have aspirations.

I have things that are going on in my head

whether anyone believes it or not. Okay?

You don't know me.

So, what's up?

Don't pretend you wanna talk.

You can write prescriptions, right?

I am not going to jail for you.

Look, I don't wanna freak you out.

But there is a significant chance

that I will burn this house down

if I'm not on drugs

within the next two hours.

Oh, if my ex-wife is in here

when you burn it down,

I'll give you all the pills you want.

Ah, so sexy.

Work it. Uh-huh!

Damn. Look at those!

Whoo!

Feel good. These are firm, girl!

I wonder if they taste

as good as they feel.

Ah, yeah. Ah, yeah.

Ooh, I'ma get all up in there.

What's the matter?

- Is there a burglar?

- No!

Don't worry, I got the bat! Take this.

My hands! My hands!

Are these the ones that are insured?

Yeah! They're my hands!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

- What the sh*t?

- There you go!

It's honey. It's the best thing

to soothe the pain.

There you go.

Just leave that on for ten minutes.

Ah! Ah!

Are you here yet? He's outta clothes.

Well, I didn't want him to overpack.

You guys can't wash what he has?

Charles, we have a wedding

this week! It's...

All he's got left

is his old, moldy army uniform.

Well, it fits him again

since the diabetes.

He likes it.

Wasn't he, like, discharged for skipping

boot camp during Passover or something?

Hey, he served his time. He did, like,

11 months in Texas or somewhere.

Anyway, you're getting him a tux, no?

He doesn't have a tux.

You understand that, right?

Yes, yes.

Just come here, please, and get the booze

like you said you would.

Don't worry. I'm getting a deal, here.

Haitian guy I met on the plane

is setting me up.

Okay, great. Thank you.

Yes, you got the arm.

Right there, Seymour.

You okay, Seymour?

- Brake. Brake.

- Brake?

Brake. Brake. Yeah.

Dominic, Lazzero,

I'm gonna need another tux.

I didn't realize my uncle Seymour

doesn't have one.

Wow, look at this man.

Thank you for your service.

It's okay.

You kidding me? You didn't tell me, Kenny.

What? No, no, he's not...

We're gonna take good care of you.

You're not gonna spend a dime.

We don't get heroes here very much.

World War II, right?

Yep.

No one here's paying.

I got your whole family, Seymour.

Bless you.

Greatest goddamn

generation right over here.

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