The Week Of Page #7

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You got that right.

Freakin' legs blown off.

Did he just say nobody's paying

for anything?

Yeah, what'd you say to them?

I didn't lie. He was in World War II.

Here you go, Uncle Seymour.

I got arms. Just hand me the chicken.

I wanna say this.

Last week, we had

Ronnie the Limo Driver in here.

This is bigger. This means more.

Ah! Look at this guy. Huh?

Lookin' sharp, kiddo.

Dad?

How do you like it, Isaac? Is it okay?

Is it itchy?

Don't worry. If it's itchy,

we'll find you another one.

- That's a nice tux.

- But the kid isn't happy.

You are happy? No? Why are you upset?

Isaac, come on. We don't got time.

We gotta move...

The game! Oh, sh*t! Sorry!

Guys, guys, we gotta go!

The kid's got a game.

We're gonna watch you, Isaac.

We're all gonna watch Isaac.

Isaac, go big!

Let's go, Isaac!

How do you not know

where the field is, Ma?

You've been coming for six years already.

Just turn on the GPS, then.

What do you mean,

the lady's voice frightens you?

Turn the volume down, then.

I don't know what to tell you, Ma.

This is...

I can't hear you.

Stay calm, Ma.

What? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

- Thank you for your service.

- What a hero. World War II, right?

Yep.

What do you say, Eva?

- Thanks for killing the Nazis.

- Good girl.

Yeah, yeah. Thank...

- Him? Yeah, yeah, sure.

- A real hero!

They do know his legs

are from diabetes, right?

Ah... Never came up.

Ladies and gentlemen,

to throw out the first pitch,

World War II veteran, Seymour Lustig.

He was in World War II. In Texas.

Our hero!

All right, let's go.

Everybody's a winner!

Everybody's a winner!

Every day's the World Series.

- Where's Isaac?

- I guess he's not starting.

Boo!

Boo!

He'll get in the game, guys!

- Put Isaac in!

- That's gobbledygook!

Run, Bobby! Run!

You suck!

Put Isaac in!

Okay, you can't...

Please don't discourage Noah.

He needs the release.

- Get that shitty kid out of there!

- Yeah!

Send that little b*tch home!

Isaac! Isaac!

Isaac! Isaac!

- Isaac! Issac!

- Who's Isaac?

I think it's the war hero's grandkid.

Oh. Isaac! Isaac!

Isaac!

Isaac! Isaac!

Isaac! Isaac! Isaac!

All right, Isaac, you're gonna bat for Max

when he comes up next inning.

Your name's Isaac?

Isaac! Isaac!

He's upset. He's upset.

He's upset. He's upset.

Okay.

Listen, it's just a game, Isaac.

Don't worry about it.

Whatever happens, everyone loves you.

Strike one.

Boo!

That was low!

Are you outta your mind, Eddie?

Thanks for the wedding invite, Ken.

I've only known you 15 years.

Are you kidding me? Am I supposed to

invite the whole town?

Strike two.

That's all right. That's all right.

Keep your eye on the ball.

Just make contact, buddy.

Just make contact.

We'll get ice cream after

no matter what, okay?

Go! Go!

I got it! I got it!

Yes!

Yeah! Yeah, buddy, yeah!

Matt, you okay?

Hang on a second, buddy.

Isaac! Isaac!

Thank you for your service.

Isaac! Isaac!

Isaac! Isaac!

Isaac! Issac! Issac!

Isaac! Isaac! Isaac!

Isaac! Isaac! Isaac!

Damn!

I missed the game, huh?

I heard a kid got hurt.

- Charles?

- Hey, Pops, don't get up.

He loves those jokes.

Hey, glad you got here.

What's with the bags?

It's the booze for the wedding.

All duty-free, baby.

What is that? Chivas?

Yeah, and not a dime in taxes.

They say this should feed about 200.

Dad, I'm sorry. I know you're doing

everything you can, and I love you, but...

Mr. Lustig, I can't let this happen.

What the...

Why is that one open?

Come on, it was a two-hour Uber ride

from the airport.

In case anybody wants some smokes.

And...

this bad boy is gonna light up

the dessert table.

You ate some.

I ate, like, one-fiftieth.

Geez. You're welcome.

- Dad!

- Listen...

I will speak to the caterer.

We'll figure it out right away.

I promise you.

See, this is what happens

when you try to cut corners.

You can't have bottles like this.

That's cheesy. Extra cheese, man.

Okay.

- Dear.

- Yes.

We don't mind pitching in

for some regular bottles. Honestly.

No, no. No, Mom, it's okay.

Mr. Lustig just wanted to make sure

there was enough booze for Robin, so...

Look, I can get you decanters so you

don't have to look at these bottles.

That's actually a smart idea.

I mean, it's up to you guys, but...

- Okay, that could work.

- Yeah?

I mean... That's wonderful. I...

- We should start getting ready.

- Kenny!

- We got parties...

- Why's your hair wet?

- My hair's wet?

- Yeah. Why's it all wet?

What the hell is...

- Why is this happening, pal?

- This room priority, yes?

I know. I know. But why's the rest

of the hotel going to sh*t?

Sir?

They were supposed to shut off

the water to the whole line of rooms,

and didn't until now.

Oh, okay. Why would somebody

forget to do that?

What the hell is so funny?

Nobody else is laughing.

Why are you laughing?

These sheets!

The honey! The stupid honey!

- How'd you sleep?

- It's like...

This damn honey's everywhere, man!

I'm trying to get this honey off!

You look good, buddy.

How come I got no water?

Turn the water on. Turn...

- But if water...

- I need some water to wash this...

Turn the water on!

- Turn it on!

- ...off my werewolf hands!

- Go. On, please.

- Water! Help me!

Somebody help me! Please!

- It's boiling!

- Cold water.

- It's boiling hot!

- Cold water too.

What're you people

trying to do to my hands?

Ah... Oh, thank you.

- Okay.

- Praise God!

- What're you doing?

- What's going on?

- Turn the water back on!

- Why's it off?

What? What now?

- The water...

- It can only be on a minute, or...

Or? Or what?

You know what?

That's it. We did your thing.

Your 99-cent wedding,

and the booze bottles for giants,

and the spoonin' with Uncle Stumpy.

Let me bail us outta this, okay?

I'm gonna get my assistant.

She's gonna make some calls.

And we're gonna move

the wedding to Manhattan.

You don't have to, pal. We're all set.

I can make this work.

Buddy. Pal. It's not a competition.

- You don't have to feel bad.

- I don't.

I don't feel bad

because I know I can fix it.

Listen.

Every father looks forward

to making a wedding for their little girl.

You understand?

I have been able to help my kids

their entire lives.

I'll be able to figure this one out.

Honey, maybe the thing to figure out is

to let Kirby pay for the wedding.

Some of it?

Maybe we don't have money

because you spend it all

on the Home Shopping crap!

That bottle keeps my coffee hot

for 12 hours!

- What do you save coffee for?

- Because I'm not a wasteful person!

- Are they gonna get a divorce?

- They never do.

Talk to Marci Schiller at the W.

And you know what else?

Check out The Plaza,

and see if they have a cancellation.

Yeah. Uh-huh.

No, there's gotta be a decent hotel

I can book a ballroom in.

Mmm-hmm.

Saving the day with money.

Oh. Okay.

Maybe you wanna skip the rehearsal dinner

that I paid for with my money,

with the mini mac and cheese cups

and the pulled pork dumplings.

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