The Wheeler Dealers
1
[ VEHICLE APPROACHING ]
[ RUMBLING ]
[ RUMBLING INTENSIFIES ]
[ GURGLES, SPUTTERS ]
I HAD A FEELING:
IT WAS A DUSTER.
YOU GOT THE ONLY THREE DRY WELLS
IN PARADISE BASIN, HENRY,
AND TWO LEASES:
EXPIRING NEXT WEEK.
LOOKS BAD, HENRY.
HENRY,
SO YOU GOT TO HIGHTAIL I UP TO THE BIG CITY
AND GET YOURSELF
SOME SHOPPING MONEY QUICK, YES.
BILLY JOE, IS MONEY
HENRY,
ABOUT MONEY.
SO YOU GO ON UP NORTH AND RAISE
$1.2 MILLION STARTING RIGHT NOW,
OR YOU'RE BROKE, YES.
HENRY, YOU'RE A RICH MAN,
AND A RICH MAN:
HERE COME THE:
WHEELER DEALERS:
WHEELER DEALERS:
HIGHFALUTIN LOCAL YOKELS
FANCY-DANCING CITY SLICKERS
THAT'S WHAT I CALL
WHEELER DEALERS:
THAT'S ENOUGH, YEAH
NOW, WE'RE JUS ORDINARY PEOPLE
EVERYWHERE WE GO, WE'RE GONNA
SPEND A DOLLAR:
ALL THE TIME:
THEY CALL US:
WHEELER DEALERS:
WHEELER DEALERS:
HIGHFALUTIN LOCAL YOKELS
DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH
FANCY-DANCING CITY SLICKERS
WHEELER DEALERS:
THAT'S ENOUGH
THEY'LL TELL YOU
THEY'RE PROUD
TO KNOW BY NAME:
WITH A QUAIN NEW ENGLAND ACCENT
OR A GOOD OLD:
TEXAS DRAWL:
HELLO, J.R.!
GOOD DAY, R.J.
GONNA MEET WITH:
AND IF THEY GO A PLACE UP THERE
WHERE WEALTH:
SAINT PETER BETTER WATCH
HIS PEARLY GATES
AND GUARD THEM STREETS OF GOLD
HERE COME THE:
WHEELER DEALERS:
WHEELER DEALERS:
HIGHFALUTIN LOCAL YOKELS
FANCY-DANCING CITY SLICKERS
THAT'S ENOUGH, YEAH
SAVE YOUR:
CONFEDERATE MONEY, BOYS.
IN STYLE.
DA, DA, DA, DA-A-A-A-A
TAXI.
TAXI!
TAXI!
TAXI.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, LADY?
THERE, YOUNG MAN.
MAYBE THAT'LL TEACH YOU
SOME MANNERS.
OH.
YOU CAN'T GET A CAB
IN THE AIRPORT.
YOU CAN'T GET A CAB
WHEN IT RAINS.
YOU CAN'T GET A CAB
ANY OTHER CITY,
NOT NEW YORK.
YOU'RE JUST LIKE MY WIFE, MISTER.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
THE ECONOMICS OF THE SITUATION.
THEN TEACH ME.
I'M INTERESTED IN THE ECONOMICS
IN THE CITY:
AND NO NEW PERMITS
FOR THE NEXT 25 YEARS.
YOU GOT TO GE A NEW PERMIT, TOO.
NOW, THE TAB
MM-HMM.
AND HOW MUCH:
DID YOUR CAB COST, MR., UH...
FEINBERG?
$3,300. NEW.
MM-HMM.
AND THAT MAKES YOUR INVESTMENT,
UH, WITH THE PERMI COME TO ABOUT $22,000?
YEAH.
SHE'LL THINK I'M RICH.
MM-HMM.
MR. FEINBERG,
RIGHT, BUT YOU
I'LL NEED YOUR SERVICES
FOR A WEEK, MAYBE TWO.
NO, LOOK, MISTER.
I CAN'T SELL THE CAB.
I NEED IT.
WELL, I FIGURED THAT.
SO, WHEN I LEAVE,
FOR $22,000.
I DON'T LOSE, MR. FEINBERG.
YOU SEE,
ON THE LOAN INTERES AND ANOTHER
ON THE DEPRECIATION
AND YOU MAKE:
A NICE PROFIT.
UNH-UNH.
SOMEWHERE.
TAX MAN LOSES.
HE USUALLY DOES:
MISTER, YOU JUS GOT YOURSELF A TAXI.
YEAH?
HE DID?
HENRY'S NOT IN MIDLAND.
THEY SAID HE WENT UP TO NEW YORK.
NEW YORK?
YEAH, I BET OLD HENRY'S UP THERE
LOOKING FOR SOME LOOSE CHANGE.
THEY TELL ME HE HI NOTHING BUT DUST IN THE BASIN.
NOTHING BUT DUST.
WELL, IF HE'S LOOKING
WE'LL FIND THE ACTION.
FOR A LOOK-SEE.
WE BETTER SASHAY
UP TO NEW YORK.
YEAH.
RIGHT NOW, CHARLIE.
OH.
I CAN'T TELL
WHETHER I'M HUNG OVER
OR WHETHER I'VE GO SINUS TROUBLE.
WELL, SINCE YOU'VE GOT THE CHOICE,
WHY NOT MAKE IT SINUS TROUBLE.
OH, THANKS A LOT.
MY SINUSES DON'T REACH THAT FAR.
I CAUGHT I AT A COCKTAIL PARTY.
I DON'T THINK
I ATE ENOUGH.
BET YOU ATE:
ENOUGH OLIVES.
SPEND THE NIGHT?
LOLLIPOP?
WITH LEONARD.
LEONARD STILL HAVING
HIS PROBLEMS?
STILL SEEING:
THAT PSYCHIATRIST?
YOU'D HAVE PROBLEMS, TOO,
IF YOU WERE MARRIED TO THA WOMAN HE WAS MARRIED TO.
WELL, I'VE HAVE PROBLEMS
MARRIED TO ANY WOMAN.
SPARKLE SO EARLY IN THE MORNING?
WHY BOTHER SPARKLING?
WHEN A GIRL SPARKLES
DOWN ON WALL STREET,
SHE'S A THREAT.
IN MY TERRITORY,
SHE'S A PROMISE.
I'LL STAY DOWNTOWN,
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
FOR LEONARD.
YOU WON'T GET ANYWHERE
WITH HIM.
A HEADSHRINKER'S
TOO MUCH COMPETITION.
IN THE ACTION.
LEONARD'S A PASTIME,
NOT A PROJECT.
IT'S COMFORTABLE
THE GRABBERS.
I'VE GOT TO RUN,
SO I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO BOL SO EARLY.
AT LUNCHTIME.
OH, UPTOWN IS JUS A STATE OF MIND.
ME?
ME?
YOU SURPRISE ME, LEN.
YOU'RE HESITATING.
DEEPEST, DRIEST HOLES IN TEXAS.
YOU BOYS SURE GOT SHORT MEMORIES.
IN THE PAST.
YOU'RE SLOWING DOWN, HENRY.
MAYBE YOU'RE LOOSING YOUR TOUCH.
YOU USED TO HAVE
UNDERCURRENTS, HENRY.
I DON'T FEEL THE
UNDERCURRENTS ANYMORE.
WHEN YOU HAD ALL THOSE SURPLUS
AIRPLANES YOU COULDN'T UNLOAD,
THE JUNKMAN," RIGHT?
- RIGHT.
WELL, JUST WHO WAS IT THAT SOLD
IN CENTRAL AMERICA?
IN BANANAS.
DOLLARS, RIGHT?
AND YOU, FLINK.
ONTO THOSE 40,000
OBSOLETE JAPANESE CAMERAS?
YOU DID, HENRY,
BUT I --
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"The Wheeler Dealers" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 25 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_wheeler_dealers_21629>.
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