The Witches Page #8

[gasps]

[Grand High Witch]

No, no, no, don’t do that.

[voice shaking]

What are you doing?

Hades.

Good p*ssy.

You are a good p*ssy cat.

[snarling]

Nice kitty.

You two have fun now.

Nice kitty.

Ah, you stupid, mangy fleabag. Precious.

Put the books back.

Stay back, you stupid, precious…

No! Hades.

Hades, precious, remember who feeds you.

No, don’t think about food.

[yelps and screams]

[Hades hissing and yowling]

[panicked squeaking]

[Hades continues yowling]

Grandma, you hear that?

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

I didn’t hear a thing.

[Mary giggles]

Oh! Well, thank you kindly.

And one for you.

[older Hero] The next morning, we were feeling joyful and triumphant.

As a matter of fact, Grandma was so happy, she was spreading her joy to the entire hotel staff.

Thank you kindly for everything.

One for you.

And one for you.

Thank you, ma’am.

[older Hero]

Bruno tried to explain

The situation to his mom.

Hello, Mother.

I’m now a mouse.

[shrieks and gasps]

[Mrs. Jenkins] It’s a mouse!

[older Hero] But it turned out

Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins weren’t really mouse people.

So, we decided it would be best if Bruno came to stay with me,

Grandma, and Daisy.

[all whooping and cheering]

[Bruno] Faster, faster!

[Mary squealing]

[laughing]

[all screaming happily]

Here we go!

[laughing and cheering]

Whee!

Cool!

Whoo-hoo!

[Mary] How’s my hair look?

How’s my hair?

[laughs] Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo!

Let’s go again, y’all.

[Grandma chuckles]

[Bruno] This time I sit in the front.

Grandma, I love being a mouse.

Oh, I believe you do.

But you wanna know something weird?

I still feel just like a boy.

[Grandma] But you are, darling.

Life changes all of us.

I mean, look at me.

I’m getting on up in the years, but I still feel like a girl.

And I still feel like a boy.

See?

You get it.

Never give up what you are inside.

When I look at you, I don’t see whiskers and a pink nose.

I just see your eyes.

Bright and beautiful.

Grandma, how long does a mouse live?

Oh, an ordinary mouse only lives about three years, but you’re no ordinary mouse.

You’re a mouse-person, and a mouse-person will almost certainly live three times longer than an ordinary mouse.

Maybe even longer.

That’s great news.

I couldn’t stand being looked after by anybody else.

I’ll be a very old mouse and you’ll be a very old grandmother, and we’ll both die together.

With a little luck, darling.

But no one knows how long their time is on this earth.

Only God knows that answer.

And that is the natural order of things.

[older Hero]

Daisy, Bruno, and I loved living with Grandma.

We were one big, happy family.

[disco music playing]

[camera shutter clicks]

[older Hero] Where were we?

Oh, yeah. That’s right.

So, here we are, ready to carry on the fight.

[all] Carry on the fight!

Over the years, we have turned and mouse-afied every damnable witch in these United States.

[kids cheering]

So, we are gathered here to take our battle to the entire world.

[kids cheering]

You have your names, correct?

[kids] Yes, sir.

[older Hero] Your addresses?

[kids] Yes, sir.

And your Number 86 Mouse Maker potion?

[kids] Yes, sir. Number 86 Mouse Maker potion, sir.

Let’s get out there and give those witches a taste of their own medicine.

[kids cheering]

[Grandma laughing]

[sighs]

So, you ready for this mission, old-timer?

Grandma, I’ve never been more ready.

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