The Wizard Page #4

Your attitude sucks.

You wanted me to like you?

Not anymore.

Great.

Corey, I don't wanna quit.

Jimmy! Jimmy! You want to play?

He wants to play!

We're not quitting here, okay?

All right, I'm looking

for a couple of kids.

This one's a mental case.

Have you seen 'em?

Does he dress like you?

No.

Well, then he couldn't be

too much of a case, all right?

That's very funny.

All right, now listen up, fruit fly.

It's time to get real.

Two kids, one is nine, one is

13, there's a girl with 'em

and they've been hangin' out in arcades.

Have you seen them?

I wouldn't tell you if I knew.

Where the hell are we?

That son of a b*tch!

Oh, geez! What the hell

are you doing? God!

Whoo! Whoo!

Sorry about that.

Woods! You maniac!

I'm gonna sue! Do you hear me? I'm

gonna sue your ass when this is over!

You make money off little

kids, you miserable jerk!

You oughta be shot!

What are you doin'?

Do you want some more, huh? I don't

think he does. He's had plenty.

Son of a b*tch!

I told you to stay

out of my way, Woods!

You chickenshit!

Ah, hell.

Corey.

So this is where you live.

It's got some charm, you think?

Okay. We got three days

to get him good

at every game they could

possibly throw at him.

Are you kidding me? I mean, there

must be 70 games he's never played.

Trust me.

Now look. This is gonna

take a lot of quarters.

I gotta find someone,

a friend of my dad's.

He's a trucker.

His name is Spanky.

The pass line!

Spanky, the pass line!

The pass line!

Pay 12. Pass 12.

Five on the pass line.

It's coming out again.

Do or don't pass.

Oh, craps 12!

Once more! Once more!

On the pass line.

Winner! Seven!

Put it on the field!

Put it on the field!

On the field. Put it on the field.

Put it on the field.

Coming out again. They're comin' out.

Watch your hands.

Nine!

Whoo! All right!

Okay, hard eight.

Spanky, hard eight.

I want a hard eight.

Hard eight.

Hard eight for the money.

Hard eight. Need a hard eight.

Comin' in.

Roll that eight now.

Eight's the line.

Winner!

We won!

Whoo!

We won?

Haley, we won?

What'd I do? What'd I do?

Get outta here.

Can't be bettin' with kids.

400 bucks.

We're in fat city!

Oh, and, Spank,

here's your 10.

Ten bucks?

Thanks.

Okay, level seven?

Let me get my book.

Hi. This is Karen,

Nintendo gameplay counselor.

We have new games.

All you gotta do is wait until

the thing lights up. Uh-huh.

Here you go.

Updates.

Nintendo Game Playing, this is Rick.

How can I help you?

Hi. My name is Haley,

and I've got a wizard

who's going all the way

to the championships in Los Angeles.

Is that so?

All I need is a little help.

Okay, let's start

with Simon's Quest.

Okay, now where exactly

are you in the game?

Candy bars,

bubble gum, licorice.

Hey, babe.

And, uh, keep the change.

Hey, not bad. Not bad.

Okay. Wait, can you say that

one more time?

Now, watch out

for those flying fireballs.

All right. Good.

Get that. Get that.

Over there. Over there.

I know I have it

around here somewhere...

Hello. Hi.

Next.

Super Mario Bros. 2.

Then you're starting out

from dungeon square two.

No. Mrs. Bateman, as soon as I know where

they are, you'll be the first to know.

Mrs. Bateman, you forgot to tell me

that your ex-husband is a maniac.

You know, children are one thing,

but with maniacs, I get more.

No, they're crisscrossin' around the state.

They're playin' video games.

No... Yeah, I don't...

Oh, sh*t!

Good, you see?

The best food at the airport.

They'd never come

to a place like this.

What the hell's

wrong with this place?

No... Mrs. Bateman, I'm gonna

have to call you back.

Hey.

Hey, buddy.

You wanna make a quick 50?

If you have to,

we'll get it to go.

I don't wanna get that to go.

Hi. Cream soda, with some

fries, please, medium. To go.

No, no. Not to go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're sitting here.

Uh, excuse me.

I'm lookin' for two kids, one about

this tall, the other one about here.

The hat.

Mister, we got 'em in all sizes.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Mind if I ask you

where you got that hat?

Yeah, I mind.

I got it from a moron.

What's that?

Nice hat.

Where'd you get that hat, huh?

Couple of kids.

They owed me some cash.

Uh-huh.

Where'd they go?

Who knows?

Hey! I'll tell you

where they were goin'.

Where?

Los Angeles! What kind of a

crazy idea has that kid got?

We're 500 miles

from Los Angeles. Huh?

Uh, Pop?

I'm gonna go have a seat.

Sh*t.

Haley.

Ah. Okay.

Here you go, Jim. Counting

Rampage and Dr. Chaos,

we have 72 out of 97, three of which

he's had a little trouble with,

so we have, uh, 28 more to go.

In one day?

Those look really bad, Corey. They look

really bad. How do these look bad?

These are classic. Because we

don't need any of that stuff.

Yes, we do. Now look. Look at this.

Look at this.

What? A jacket?

Look at this jacket.

Look at the design... We got plenty

of clothes. We need entertainment.

We need toys, entertainment,

like, look...

These are perfect entertainment. Look

what I got for him. Peek-a-boo Peepers.

Look, they're weighted,

so they can put them in

your soup, or, like,

you know, your friend's soup.

You can do everything with these things.

What do you...

Jimmy, you're such a dork.

Look, Mrs. Bateman, I got it

from this snot named Lucas.

They're headed for this big video

championship in Los Angeles.

No! Don't meet me there. I'll have

'em before you ever get there.

Mrs. Bateman? Mrs. Bateman!

The guy said, "Take it," so I took it.

How was I supposed to know?

I mean, it looked like a wreck.

Unfortunately,

we started stripping it.

Hey, buddy, you seen these kids?

Anybody?

Hey, we're tryin' to play craps here.

Oh, forget it.

Six! Six!

Excuse me, miss. I'm looking for a couple

of kids, this one right here in particular.

Have you seen him? I know

they're around here. No.

No?

No.

Hey, look what I can do.

Nope.

Can I help you?

Uh, yeah, I'd like a light...

Excuse me, miss. I'm looking for my

lost son. He's, uh, handicapped.

He's been missing fully...

Hey! You!

Hey!

I got him! I got him!

Where is he?

Where's who?

Don't give me any lip, you snot! I've

been followin' you across two states.

I'm bein' paid to bring your little

brainless brother back. Now point him out!

Mister, you'll find your

other son in the arcade.

I hate you!

Haley!

Got you, Jimmy boy.

Time to go home, son.

We're too late.

He touched my breast!

What the hell are you doin'?

No. I...

Put the kid down. No. I didn't

touch anything! You can't...

You can't have the kid. The kid is...

What are you...

I got a letter of custody for

that kid right here in my pocket!

What are you doing?

Put me down!

Jimmy, are you okay?

Are you okay?

Come on.

We can't stay here.

Where the hell are we, Haley?

My home.

Your home?

Nice place.

Hey, Pop, I think we got it.

Wait a second.

I'm in the sixth palace

of Hyrule.

Oop. Yeah!

I got past the River Devil.

Terrific.

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