The Wizard Page #5

What the hell are you doin'?

I had the magic key. I got the cross.

I was closin' in on the Barbarian!

You're losin' it, Pop.

Let's get in the car, huh?

Jimmy's out cold in the house.

So you always, uh,

sit up here on the roof?

It's better than being inside.

Look. I know how I told you

I lived in some great place,

so don't be rubbing it in.

I didn't say anything.

It ain't my fault.

And it ain't my dad's.

My mom,

she had this little problem.

That's how I learned

about craps.

I thought, maybe when

my dad got home tomorrow night

from work, we'd have won.

Call him up from L.A. and

say, "Dad, guess what?

"We can buy a house now."

Geez, listen to me.

I even sound like a dork.

Zelda.

Zelda?

Yeah. Yeah, you know, it's

like the Adventures of Link.

He has to find Zelda, you have

to find a house same difference.

Boy, is that sexist.

It's not sexist.

It's romantic.

I know what you were gonna do, and

you can just forget about it.

There is no way!

I am not kissing a boy.

A girl maybe?

You smart-ass.

Yeah, information. I'm lookin' for a...

Brooks, Reno.

B-R, double "O," K-S.

I touched her breast.

She doesn't have any breasts.

No, it's a Haley Brooks.

All right.

Just give me all three.

All right. Yeah, look. What I really

need here is an address. Okay.

Jimmy, time to get up.

Jimmy.

Jimmy?

Corey!

No.

Haley!

What?

Come on.

Jimmy! Stop!

Wait!

Stop! Jimmy!

Jimmy! Hey!

- Wait!

- Jimmy!

He's gone.

He's gone. It's over!

Just tell me the truth, Corey.

Did you really have a chance?

Yeah. No,

I don't know.

Look. I've never seen anyone better,

not even... Not even Lucas?

Yeah. Not even Lucas.

Hey, where you goin'? You

think I don't have friends?

I got friends.

Friends? Haley!

Hey. Hey!

Hey! Sit down and shut up.

You just made me some money,

space case.

Here, have a sucker.

Look. Look, kid, you just do

like your Uncle Putnam tells ya,

or else it's gonna be

a very long ride home.

What the hell is that?

Hey! What the hell are you doin'?

You're blockin' the road, guys.

Whoa!

All right. I want all of your

driver's license numbers!

Every one of ya. I want your

driver's license numbers!

So you touched her breasts, huh?

Oh, my God.

All right. All right.

Let's not lose our tempers.

It's very hot...

Come on, Spanky.

Faster, faster!

I'm already in a world of trouble when

ol' Pete find out I stole his rig.

Do you want me

to get a ticket, too?

Please, Spanky?

All right!

L.A., here we come.

Look out for the road hog!

Yahoo!

Yahoo!

Bye, Spanky.

Thanks for the ride.

Bye, Spanky.

- Thanks, Spanky.

- Good luck, you guys.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Andy Panda! Have you seen

Woody Woodpecker?

There it is.

Whoa, what is this place?

From three finalists, one champion.

Who will survive?

Video Armageddon continues.

All right. Let's move it,

move it, move it, kid! Hi.

Hey.

Hi. We're here to register.

Good. Yeah, the

name's Jimmy Woods.

Woods!

Jimmy Woods!

What game is it?

What game are they playing?

Well, for the prelims

we're playing Ninja Gaiden!

He knows Ninja Gaiden.

We're in! That's great.

You're in. Fantastic. Pin this to

his back and hustle it on in there.

You're blowin' it. You're late.

Move it, move it, move it!

And the clock moves inexorably

towards the final conflict.

From three finalists,

one champion.

Who will survive at Video Armageddon?

Remember what we taught you.

Will you look at this?

Oh. Oh, here we go.

A winner here. Let's go.

As the clock winds down,

who will survive,

as we have 10 seconds, nine...

Eight, seven, six,

five, four, three, two, one!

We have a new winner,

number 169!

Number 169 is who we gotta beat.

Whoever it is, they're good.

It's Lucas.

Yeah. All right, Lucas. Yeah.

Hey, It's the wizard.

I brought my friends, too.

I wanted to show

them perfection.

You know, I hope you don't get

nervous like last time, wiz.

We wouldn't want you

to whiz on someone.

Let's just hope it's you.

Whoa.

Come on. Let's go.

The final elimination round

of Video Armageddon...

All right.

At last the final round.

Come up here,

my little beauties.

All right. Okay, Jimmy. This is you.

This is you.

Stay calm. You know this game.

Remember all the stuff you learned.

Remember where to warp on the boards.

You remember? Twenty-seven.

Go. Go get 'em. Concentrate. Go.

You can do it. You can do it, Jimmy.

Just... Go on.

Come up here,

my little munchkins.

Get your little bottoms up

here...

...as we move into the final,

and last, elimination round!

Come on.

They have 10 minutes!

Go!

Come on! Come on!

Come on! Come on!

Go, go, go!

Come on!

Go!

He got it.

All right! Who is gonna win

the 50,000 smackeroos?

Oh, terrific. Whoa!

Ten, nine, eight...

Seven, six,

five, four, three, two, one!

And now the judges tabulate

to reveal our three

winning finalists!

Ladies and gentlemen,

the winners are 169...

- Yeah!

- Number 169, Lucas Barton.

You're out there.

I wonder where you'd all gone.

Number 255, Mora Grissom.

And 427!

Number 427, Jimmy Woods.

Jimmy! Whoo!

Well, ladies, gentlemen,

children, siblings,

animals,

this is the day that our three

contestants in 15 minutes

will fight for 50,000

smackeroos!

But now, I am really

gonna brain you out!

They are gonna have

to play a game

that they have never,

ever, ever played before.

New game?

In 15 minutes

you get to your stations!

What? A new game? You didn't

say there'd be a new game!

What the hell are you doing?

What do you want? Get away!

- Freak.

- Warning. Video Armageddon

will begin in T-minus

15 minutes and counting.

Putnam!

Mr. Bateman.

Mr. Putnam, my son has been on the

road for almost nine days now.

You said you'd have

him back in hours.

All right, look. I'm glad you're here.

I'm glad you made it.

He's here. Believe me.

Where?

With all due respect, Mr. Bateman,

I've had a b*tch of a time,

excuse my language, and I'd rather

not have anything else go wrong.

I mean, it's so unfair. How

can they give us a new game?

Hey, Lucas, man, that was great. You're

gonna rip their gizzards out, man.

Yeah, yeah.

Look, dork lips,

why don't you just make yourself

useful and get me a cold drink?

Hey. Hey, you!

You in the black shirt!

Up here!

Up on the steps!

Look! Hey, you!

Up here!

Hey! They're down there.

Over there!

Hey! They're down there.

It's him.

It's Jimmy! It's Jim...

Jimmy! Jimmy!

Run!

Come on!

Uh, stop eating!

Where are the goin'?

- Corey!

- Come on!

Wait! Wait!

Go, Jimmy, go!

Hurry up. Close it!

Hey, watch where you're goin'!

Let me go, man! Let me go!

Come here!

Stop those...

Get outta my way.

Where's your mother?

Come on, Jimmy!

Come on. Hurry up.

Wait a second.

There they go right there.

Huh?

Come on!

Hey! Paul Meiner's next motion

picture Mayhem in Monte Carlo,

starring Zsa Zsa Gabor and Pee-wee

Herman in the romantic leads.

- What do we do, Corey?

- What do we do?

Come here! Stop those kids!

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