The Women Page #4

I promise, I promise, Mrs. Haines.

Donna.

Good dirt. Oh, my God.

Hello, it's Mary for Sylvie again.

Is she still in that meeting?

Yes, if you could please have her call me

as soon as she gets out. Thank you.

Am I late?

I'm sorry, Mom.

I heard what happened.

Your father is a real sh*t.

I ordered you a gimlet.

I know,

you don't drink in the afternoon...

...but you will eventually,

so why not start now?

You wanna see a bad facelift?

Helen Danvers, 2 o'clock.

She looks like she's re-entering

the Earth's atmosphere.

Honey, what can I do?

Do you want me to punish Daddy?

- Mom, Stephen's having an affair.

- What?

I can't believe those words

came out of my mouth.

- That just makes me sick to my stomach.

- Who is she, one of your friends?

No, she sells perfume at Saks.

She's a spritzer girl?

I mean, how could I not have known?

Three months ago,

he bought cowboy boots.

I just can't believe this is happening to me.

I thought we were happy.

- What are you gonna do?

- What do you mean?

- I'm gonna tell him to move out.

- Well, that's not very smart.

Someone once said...

...that when you don't know

what to do, do nothing.

Mom, my husband of 13 years

is having an affair.

I mean, do they talk about me

when they're in bed?

Do they laugh at me?

Please don't tell me to pretend

that nothing happened.

You have no idea how this feels.

Well, let me try.

It feels like someone

kicked you in the stomach.

It feels like your heart stopped beating.

It feels like that dream.

You know, the one where you're falling

and you want so desperately to wake up...

...before you hit the ground,

but it's all out of your control.

You can't trust anything anymore.

No one is who they say they are.

Your life is changed forever.

And the only thing to come out

of the whole ugly experience...

...is no one will ever be able

to break your heart like that again.

I can't believe you never told me that.

I wanted you to love your father.

Jeez, I mean, who was she?

Some little skank who sold fabric.

I met her once.

She wore too much makeup

and her bra straps were always showing.

- What did you do when you found out?

- Nothing.

Nothing?

I had a smart mother too.

Mary, that girl does not mean

anything more to Stephen...

...than the fabric whore

meant to your father.

If he loved her, believe me,

you would have felt it.

I can't fake it, Mom.

I can't be anywhere near him right now.

Then this is what I think we should do.

It's spring break.

We'll go away for a couple of weeks.

There is nothing like a heavy dose

of a man's mistress...

...to make him miss his wife.

What do you think this is,

some kind of 1930s movie?

That's ridiculous.

Can I remind you of something?

You have a daughter, just like I did.

This is not just about you.

Call Stephen.

Tell him I invited you and Molly

up to the cottage in Maine.

We'll leave tomorrow.

And I wouldn't discuss this

with any of your friends.

They'll all want to help,

and before you know it...

...you'll be taking care of them

instead of yourself.

Oh, my God.

I'm so sorry for you, baby.

But it's nice to know

you still need your mama.

Was that a sunrise we just saw?

Because I'm on the wrong side

of that thing.

Alex, stop complaining.

I just thought Mary could use a few pals

to take her to the airport.

You know why I don't

cultivate friendships?

So I don't have to take anyone

to the airport.

At the next intersection, make a left turn.

- Who the hell was that?

- The navigation lady.

She's always calm. She never talks back.

My husband's in love with her.

All right, I'm sensing something here.

Something's not being said.

- What's going on that I don't know about?

- Nothing's going on.

What would make you say that?

Alex, what is your take

on Mary and Stephen's marriage?

Um...

It looks perfect on the outside...

...but there's definitely something

going on there.

You know Mary doesn't like

looking at the cracks.

She's too busy filling them.

Our girl is all blue sky.

But sooner or later...

Why?

Mary doing somebody? Heh, heh.

- What makes you think it's Mary?

Edie.

- Is Stephen having an affair on Mary?

- Oh, for God's sake, Edie.

- What a mouth.

- I didn't say anything!

Is it somebody we know?

- Vault?

- Vault.

- Spritzer girl, Saks.

- No.

- Oh, my God, how's she taking it?

- Oh, she doesn't know.

What do you mean, she doesn't know?

What is wrong with you two?

We're in the vault, she's not?

Drag her ass into the vault.

Look, I have been struggling

with this for days, okay?

Mary and I have been best friends

since college.

- I think she should be told.

- Uh, yeah.

Or we just don't say anything.

Sylvie, Mary has to know, okay?

Now, that's the right thing to do.

You want me to tell her?

Because I'll tell her.

I don't have a problem with it.

Hi.

Hi, I could've taken a cab.

No, no, I know you sent, you know,

Molly to be with your mom.

And why should you

go to the airport alone?

All right, so you have all

the numbers at the house.

All the information.

- Oh, will you call the vet please, Dr?

- I will, Dr. Jones.

Oh, and the guy from the place

is coming to fix the...

- The sink, at 2.

Next week, Tuesday at 2.

- Okay.

That too.

Oh, hi.

- Hey.

What are you guys doing here?

- Just get in, okay?

- Come on, get in.

- No, let's get out.

Mary, there's a reason

why we are all here with you today.

Sylvie has something

she wants to talk to you about.

This is really hard, Mary, okay? L...

Oh, is this about the perfume b*tch?

You knew and you didn't tell me?

Right now, honest to God,

Mary, I'm so hurt.

- You?

- Yeah.

This isn't happening to you,

this is happening to me.

I was trying to figure out how to tell you.

I'm not saying I didn't...

How can you not tell me?

All right, all right, all right!

It's out in the open, okay?

Fine, what I wanna know is,

what did he say when you confronted him?

I didn't confront him.

He doesn't know I know.

- What do you mean?

- Mary, that is ridiculous.

I'm not proud of it.

What are you saying?

He's supposed to know that you know.

Okay, okay! All right, I appreciate

all of you trying to help, I really do.

But please, don't dissect and analyze

every square inch of this right now.

I can't take it.

Just be there for me silently.

Okay, let's go.

I should not be operating

heavy machinery right now.

- Hey, Mom?

- Mm-hm.

- You know what'd be really cool?

- What?

If you and I

got mother-and-daughter tattoos.

Nice try.

Come on,

it would change your whole image.

What's wrong with my image?

Never mind.

So I can still get

the tattoo, though, right?

Yeah, right after I get my nose pierced.

How come you never just hear me?

I hear you, honey, I hear you.

You want a tattoo,

and you're not getting one.

I'm gonna go watch television.

Oh, Mol. Molly, come on,

stay out here with us.

It's a gorgeous day.

Is there anything I'm allowed to do?

You know, Mom, I think

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