The Women Page #5

it's gonna be warm enough this afternoon...

...to go for a swim.

I'll have to put on a bathing suit.

Men, they can just parade around

without a care in the world.

At what age do women

start covering themselves with tarps...

...just for a stroll on the beach?

- Oh, it's Stephen.

- Don't answer it.

Let him think you're doing something

incredibly interesting without him.

God, I hate the game-playing.

- It does feel good to get some control.

- Of course it does.

He's called three times a day

since we've been here.

He's practically begging you

to come home.

You can see where his heart is.

This would be so much easier

if I didn't love him.

There should be a pill that you can take

to make love go away.

Why would you wanna

make love go away?

It's hard enough to find it

in the first place.

It's Stephen.

All right, you can answer it now.

Hello? Oh, Stephen.

I'm dying to see what she looks like.

Okay, listen, Sylvie,

I'm just gonna put it on the record.

This is a bad idea.

We don't have a plan, you don't know...

- Oh, my God, would you look at that bag?

- So pretty.

Sylvie, I need an advance.

I am not going to enable you.

Finish your damn book.

Can I have this bag, Mommy?

Mommy, I'm tired of shopping.

Can we go? I wanna go.

We can't go.

Aunt Sylvie is stalking somebody.

When she's finished, we can leave.

I hate this store!

April?

I want you to listen to me.

I'm gonna say something

very important...

...and I want you to remember it

for the rest of your life.

Nobody hates Saks.

Now, let's do what we came here for.

Mommy, can we get something to eat?

Fragrances, this is Pat.

- She's with a customer.

I'm hungry.

- Can we eat somewhere soon, Mommy?

- Oh.

I'm starving.

Crystal.

Phone for you.

It's a guy.

Wow.

- She is fine.

- Oh, Jesus, Alex, not now.

- We've seen her, now let's get out of here.

- Not on your life.

Yeah, I'm with Sylvie.

Hello?

Stephen.

I was hoping it was you.

How have you been, baby?

I missed you this week.

Well, it's cruel and unusual punishment

to be without you this long.

I say we make up for lost time.

What if I cook us

a romantic dinner tonight?

The big white square thing with the fire

coming out of it is the stove.

Shh. Oh.

No, baby, of course.

No, no, no, your work comes first.

Don't worry.

I'll just save you a piece of cake

with a candle on it.

- Phew.

- Huh.

Oh, I didn't wanna tell you,

because I didn't want you to make a fuss...

...and I'll have other birthdays.

I would... No, no, no.

I would feel terrible taking you away

from important business.

Are you sure?

Oh, baby, I am one happy girl.

Okay, I'll see you at 8.

You know where. Mwah.

That stupid wife.

Ever since she's been gone to wherever,

he's been acting like a lost puppy.

I have an audition at 4:00.

Apparently now I'm cooking dinner.

How did this all happen?

You volunteered.

Oh, sorry, Pat, but I gotta go.

Can you find something to do tonight

so we can have the apartment?

Fine. And good luck on your audition.

Uh, excuse me.

Can I get some help, please?

- I was just leaving, but Pat can help you.

- Oh, I was told to ask for Crystal Allen.

Ow, give me that.

Oh, no, no.

- Is that you?

- Yeah.

I've heard you have a special way

of knowing what a customer needs.

Really? And where would you hear that?

- Around.

Pretty.

I've been wearing Chanel No. 5

since my christening.

I'm thinking of changing.

What would you suggest?

Hmm. Probably nothing too subtle.

You're right about that.

You always know exactly

where you stand with me.

No, I want a perfume

to be a reflection of my personality.

Smart, fearless, clever, loyal...

...protective of friends,

ruthless if crossed.

I want that.

You shopping for a perfume

or writing a personal ad? Ha, ha, ha.

A friend of mine

is wearing something new.

Her husband bought it for her here,

I think.

Edie, what's the name of that perfume

that Mary Haines is wearing?

- You know, the one Stephen bought for her.

- Ah.

Stephen Haines.

Maybe you waited on him.

He's good-looking, receding hairline.

Platinum card.

Maybe that rings a bell.

Oh, we know you're screwing Stephen,

and Mary is a friend of ours, so you stop it.

- Just stop it!

- Shh.

So he cheated on you,

and still you said nothing to him?

This is not modern, Mary.

Ever since I got back from Maine,

it's all flowers and foot rubs...

...and, "What can I do for you today?"

I mean, maybe my mother is right.

Maybe the affair was no big deal.

Maybe treating it that way

actually is the more modern thing.

- When did you become French?

- I'm not sleeping with him.

- Good. Make him suffer.

- Sylvie, let's stop talking about me, okay?

- How's everything with Gary?

- Oh, it's over.

He pressed his jeans.

- You are too choosy.

- No.

Yeah, and you know why that is?

You're afraid to choose.

- No, I am not.

- Yes, yes, you are.

Excuse me, I chose once, remember?

It was all very nice

until my career took off.

"Sylvie, I'm happy for you. "

He said, "I want you to fly.

I just don't think I can be with a woman

who has that kind of wingspan. "

- That was just him.

- Excuse me, no.

I'm sorry, men have a hard time

being with a successful woman.

So we shrink to fit, like you.

- What are you talking about?

- Yeah, like you were gonna be Donna Karan.

And then you put on the brakes

because you could eclipse Stephen.

When you fall in love, you don't think

about how it's gonna work out, Sylvie.

- You just go with your gut.

- Oh, please.

Like my first date with Stephen,

when he gave me that pumpkin.

Thank God it was Halloween.

That was an irresistible thing,

to be given a pumpkin on your first date.

- That's weird.

It was charming, you know.

Carving a pumpkin?

- We carved it together.

We were a really good team.

You know, 13 years.

Good afternoon, La Perla.

- Thirteen pumpkins.

That is what you think about

when it's all falling apart.

It's the pumpkin. The pumpkin matters.

I hate Halloween.

All those strangers at the door.

You know, someday, when you are not

looking and you're not thinking, Sylvie...

...you're gonna meet the man

you wanna marry.

I'm the man I wanna marry.

That's the problem.

Ooh, hey.

Sylvie, what do you think of this?

- On you?

- Yeah.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Stephen might get lucky tonight.

Mrs. Haines, it's been a while

since we've seen you.

Time for a new robe?

Hello, Grace. I'd like to try this on.

- Really?

- What is everyone's deal?

- What?

I think this is your size.

All right, I admit that I underestimated

the value of the slut factor in the bedroom.

Great. Maybe he'll leave some cash

on the nightstand.

Oh, I just don't understand

why they put fluorescent lighting...

...in dressing rooms.

Why would a woman buy anything

if it looks like her thighs...

...were hit by a meteor shower?

How are you doing in there, Ms. Allen?

- Do you need another size, another color?

Oh, no, I like it.

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