The Wooden Horse Page #2

"No," said the old bull,

"Stroll down and get the lot!"

Hoch!

Gut! Sie konnen gehen.

Ready, John.

All clear?

Yeah.

Let's go, chaps.

John!

All set, Pete.

Blanket,

trowel and hooks,

box.

Right? Right.

Victor? All clear.

OK, John? Take it away!

Ready.

Lift.

To me a little.

Right, down.

All right, Phil.

Come on, over the top.

All right? It's easy, old boy.

Hold it, chaps.

OK, John.

Go, chaps.

THUD:

OK, next.

RHYTHMIC THUDDING

Come on then, over.

'Dry top sand in the box.'

That's better.

THUD:

Improving, Phil.

'Now the wet undersand

on the blanket.'

Fine.

I've never seen such a ropey lot!

OK, blokes, a good run and a good

jump. That's all you want. Next.

Good. Come on, next.

That's it.

Come on, Peter.

Feeling tired?

Not bad. A bit more jump, old boy.

Come on, chaps. Keep it going.

Next.

That's very good. Much better.

Next.

Time to pack up, John.

Right, half a minute.

It's getting on, Peter.

Mmm. He's filling in now.

OK, next!

Last one.

Pack up.

Nick!

David!

OK, John?

All aboard.

Take it easy, Tony.

OK, Peter.

OK.

A little higher.

Is it through?

OK, boys, lift.

All clear? All clear.

OK, chaps.

Thank you, Gordon.

Good show. Down you go.

ALL:
# We don't want to go to war

# We'd rather stay at home

among the paths to roam

# And thinking of the daughters...#

How's it going, John? Piece of cake,

Bill. We'll be out before you are!

#...Away

# We'd rather be in England

# In merry, merry England

# And live to fight again

another day. Cor blimey! #

# Deutschland, Deutschland,

uber alles

# Deutschland, Deutschland

# Ist kaputt... #

Nehmen Sie doch vernunft an.

ALL:
# Uber alles

# Deutschland, Deutschland

ist kaputt... #

Ich sage in das Hoffnung, Sie wollen

es anders. Entweder so oder so!

A FEW SING:
# Deutschland... #

So.

Ah, bitte mein Herr. Danke schon.

ALL:
Danke!

It will be about here.

It's slow, John.

40 feet. In eight weeks. Not good. It's

getting the sand back. The men are tired.

I know, Phil. What's the answer?

Come on, chaps.

Nearly packing up time.

I must check with the duty pilot.

Keep them going, Phil. Don't worry.

Watch that leg, Nick.

It's OK.

Let's have a series, eh?

PHIL:
OK, chaps, let's get cracking.

Phil!

Phil!

I told you to watch that leg!

Rub it! Look!

Roof must have fallen in.

Come this way.

Rub it hard. Pretend I'm hurt.

Get John. Stretcher!

John, there's been a fall.

Who? The tunnel.

Is he trapped? Nick's on the hole.

How do you feel?

OK, John, you take over.

Pete!

Peter!

Peter!

I'm going down.

You'll give the show away. I know.

Peter!

Peter!

(Where's that stretcher?)

(John!)

Peter, are you OK?

Hell of a mess! I'll try and clear

it. Can you fill from the top?

OK.

Down here.

And lift!

Paul, cover that side.

PHIL:
Goons seem interested, old boy.

Bandages.

12 minutes, John.

Pete, 12 minutes to roll call!

Carry on jumping, chaps.

Let's go longways.

We'll never do it!

Gewehr hoch!

Rechts herum!

Kompanie marsch!

HE COUGHS:

Pete, how are you? How's it going?

OK. Nearly finished.

How much longer, Paul? Five.

Five minutes, Pete. Only five.

OK, shore it up.

You fill in from the top.

Phil, give us a hand.

PHIL:
OK.

Lift.

Just a minute, chaps.

Take my shirt, Nick.

Pete - the guard's in!

WHISTLE BLOWS:

They have to go, John.

Do something, Phil.

What? Do something!

Schnell, schnell!

I got my shirt on the wrong way.

Los!

Pete, we've got to go now.

Take her away.

Lift.

Down.

Up.

MUSIC:
"Pastoral"

from Beethoven's 6th Symphony

AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: Hey, sport!

You know where I've been?

Can't think. Danzig.

I got through the wire with some

other Aussies in the north compound.

I nearly made it.

I was just getting on a ship

when a sentry spotted me.

How long were you out?

Three days.

Got a bullet in the shoulder and a

cold in the head from sleeping rough!

What's Danzig like?

There's no future there.

It's stiff with troops.

How do you get there?

Jump the rattler.

That's the way to get around.

By train.

Why not as a passenger?

A foreign worker?

They ask for your identity card.

You've got to get a permit to travel.

If you got through,

you'd travel fast?

They have train checks.

You'd never get through.

How could I get

travel papers to copy?

One of the goons.

Try Dopey.

Hey, Dopey!

Here.

My friend would like to see

travel passes for foreign workers.

I cannot. They shoot me.

They shoot you for trading with

us kriegies. My friend's a witness.

You must not tell. Please!

I have family. We will, Dopey.

Report him now. Blackmail?

Do you want to escape?

Was machen Sie denn hier? Herr Oberst sagte

der Mann musste gewechselt werden. Gut.

Do you have something to say?

How soon will I be out of here?

Two days.

I'll bring it tomorrow.

Beethoven.

He is a good German.

Yeah, he's dead!

Small one! Is that all? That's all.

Come on, chap.

You and Clinton

share cook duty.

Clinton's not here,

so you do lunch.

Clinton hasn't done it yet!

It's the principle.

So we suffer! It's not me.

It's Clinton's laziness.

Sweating in a tunnel is

"laziness"? He still has duties!

This tunnel's

the excuse for everything.

It's not even getting anywhere.

I say, Clinton, we want

lunch. And I won't get it.

Was it my turn? I'm sorry.

Howard...

Shut up!

This isn't good enough.

We should split the mess into two.

You should cater for yourselves.

OK. Fair enough.

What about you, Nick?

I'll join you. Do you mind?

How are you feeling?

I'll be OK in a minute.

How many bags today, Pete?

Five.

We'll never get out at this rate!

We'll get out.

Only five bags a trip.

We could make two trips a day.

Wouldn't the goons be suspicious?

They think we're mad enough for anything. Still,

that's only ten a day. Less when we get further.

There must be a way.

It isn't the digging, it's getting the

sand out. How about a sort of sledge?

That's it. We can go down together.

The horse can't carry two. It would.

AND the sand? Oh.

I know! We both dig in the morning

and leave the bags in the shaft.

In the afternoon,

ONE brings them back.

Fine. Who will take charge

on the surface?

Phil does already.

We must get him out of the camp too.

He'll be trailing Germany with us.

What about Nick?

Nick! My leg puts me out.

If we had to run for it,

I'd be sunk. Go on and ask Phil.

OK.

On condition that he travels alone!

Got it?

Sure.

See you at 2.30 then. Busy, Phil?

Of course,

I'm starting on my pantomime.

Why not put it on in London?

Yes, Drury Lane, old boy(!)

Phil? Yes?

Seriously. Come in with us,

you'll be home by Christmas.

What's the catch? Nothing. Why me?

Knowing your efficiency.

And your belief in OUR efficiency.

OK, what do you want?

Peter and I are going down together.

Could you organise the vaulting?

I do already! Then why are you

worried? I'm not, I'm flattered.

OK.

OK, I'm in. Good show. Peter?

Hmm? There is one thing.

If it's all the same to you,

I'd rather travel alone.

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